ctchamps
We are UConn!! 6 >>>1!
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2011
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Me thinks JC is stating that people will eventually move past their anger and be family again. That's the way things usually work out. However I'm sure many of us know situations where family members fail to resolve things. So this is TBD.
What I love is the irony in this thread. You can almost pin point when KO went off the rails. It was right after his wife declared she wanted a divorce. Whether KO was responsible or not he became embittered as a result of it. He took it out on everyone. The argument he was getting paid more than enough to rise above this situation and not let it bleed onto his work is what we hope people can do. In my experience I find people seldom being able to do this money or no money.
Many people in this thread, those who are in every thread in which KO comes up, have made the arguement KO should have risen above his emotional angers. And yet these are the same people who have demonstrated they are the least able to do this with their own "suffering".
What are they angry about? The program is destroyed? Hope not. I'm planning on going to C of C tournament and just convinced my wife to join me. We still have a program. And the future looks bright. So what are people miserable about? Three, four years of enduring bad games? Can we legitimately make the case that our suffering from four years of horrible play outweighs the misery which results from when a long term relationship ends?
Was UConn's reputation destroyed? Nothing is happening that even remotely comes close to scandals at UNC, Louisville, Miami, Baylor, Michigan State and many others. Have those scandals severely impacted the function of those respective universities? And why make an argument that sports is the most important matter concerning universities? It's not.
These are the rational arguments to this situation, at least in my opinion. However I understand the misery that people in this thread and similar threads have gone through. This is the team and sport I most align my feelings and external identity with. I suffered as much as any fan with each loss, knowing that things could have, should have been better. So what? Do I need to blame KO for this when all I have to do is rise above what KO did?
That's the elephant in this forum. Suffering is suffering. There is no scale that can objectively measure if any reaction from suffering is justifiable. We frequently insist on what the behavior should be in others even as we struggle with the same inability to react differently. I can't tell KO what he should have done or do. Same with Ray. Same with anyone in this forum. I can suggest there is a better way to react when I have a chance to be in contact with a person. But if a person is unable to do this because their state of mind isn't ready to accomplish it, I have one of three options remaining. Either stop offering advice, be angry at those people because they ignored my advice or be sympathetic to these people, understanding their reactions, and trying to continue to be supportive of the process.
Once upon a time I took that third option. I think it's the best option. It has the greatest potential to solve situations. However several years ago I consciously chose to shift. I wanted to know what it was like to express oneself with little or no perspective other than my own. It was fun. It was easy, much easier than trying to stay above the fray. And I just became another reactive angry voice in a maelstrom of reactive angry voices. It was wrong, at least for me. So I've been trying to regain who I was before going down that rabbit hole. It hasn't been easy. I went from trying to be supportive, to being part of the anger, to being mostly absent, to now attempting to regain what I was.
I hope people can find a way to reduce their pain over this bad chapter. I hope KO can become the inspirational person he was before the cascading negative events began. I hope Ray can heal broken bonds. And most of all I hope one or two Boneyarders who have not done so already, move on from the impacts KO and the past several seasons have had on their lives.
