OT: Meghan Gardler - #MeToo | Page 2 | The Boneyard

OT: Meghan Gardler - #MeToo

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JS

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I get her right to privacy, but when you lob an accusation like that out there, it will lead to all kinds of speculation, and none of it will do anyone any good. Such a sad situation in every respect.
Good post, Eric. Tough, tough, balancing act.

In the Weinstein case, some like A. Jolie only referred, in a general way, to a bad experience with him when she was young, said she never worked with him again and warned others. Didn't accuse anyone of a cover-up.

Others spoke of enablers. That does invite questions, which the proper parties should try to look into, especially if the people in question are still around.

And you're right that in the absence of facts, speculation will likely fill the void according to the inclinations and maybe the motives of the commenters.
 
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Why? I would hate to think that we can't reasonably and compassionately talk about this.
You are correct. This needed to be aired! Anyone who thinks ; just because this is Uconn there is no sexual assaults has had their heads in a pile of sand.
To expect that NO ONE on the UCONN WBB team was ever sexually or verbally assaulted while at Uconn is deceiving themselves. Speak about it let it be known, don't hide what should be visible!! Time to discover who "the powers that be" are and to execrate them. Remember OUR young ladies can only protect themselves if they are aware of any problem or persons to avoid.
 
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Good post, Eric. Tough, tough, balancing act.

In the Weinstein case, some like A. Jolie only referred, in a general way, to a bad experience with him when she was young, said she never worked with him again and warned others. Didn't accuse anyone of a cover-up.

Others spoke of enablers. That does invite questions, which the proper parties should try to look into, especially if the people in question are still around.

And you're right that in the absence of facts, speculation will likely fill the void according to the inclinations and maybe the motives of the commenters.
Those in POWER positions that abuse that power have been with the world forever! It is those who have suffered their abuse that are abusing those who may have future contact with that abusive person. They are the enablers. However when your lively hood depends on accepting the abuse--being an enabler may be the first choice--and protecting others secondary. As some native supposedly said ---walk a mile in their shoes.
 
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Unfortunately the answer is yes. Had Meghan just said "#MeToo", and left it at that, then of course we would feel badly for her and respect her privacy. But by adding " I was sexually assaulted in college. It was covered up by the powers that be", she is basically accusing "someone" at the university.

Was it the police? Someone in the administration? Or god forbid, Geno or someone on the WCBB staff? Unfortunately, this is a story I suspect will get some legs, it will show up on other WCBB boards, and as long as it's left vague with no additional information, could be used against Geno in recruiting.

I get her right to privacy, but when you lob an accusation like that out there, it will lead to all kinds of speculation, and none of it will do anyone any good. Such a sad situation in every respect. My heart goes out to her... bad enough to live thru it, but to have the additional horror of it being covered up, had to make it that much more difficult for her to deal with... :(
If you're going to accuse the University of something this serious, she needs to name names privacy or not (not necessarily to us obviously). I really don't like these kinds of innuendos that seem pervasive these days (whether it's basketball or politics) where you can just throw something out there and never have to back it up. Why couldn't she have gone to her coaching staff if the school was trying to bury it? Geno is the highest paid employee in the state, surely he has enough juice to get something done if something like that happens to one of his players and certainly has a large enough platform otherwise.
 

cabbie191

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Two things.

First, this whole issue of sexual harassment and assault is so frustratingly pervasive, and personal to me. Three women in my family have been assaulted over the past 30 years: One as a 3rd grader by the older brother of one of her playmates, one as a college student while studying overseas (outright rape), and the third as a middle age woman in the work place - cornered and a forced kiss by a co-worker (who also doubled as a neighbor).

Second, I admire Meghan for speaking up but I wish it wasn't done through Twitter. The restriction of characters can often lead to misleading statements.

She said it took place in college. She might have meant while a student at UConn and the assault occurred at school. Or she might have meant while a student at UConn but the assault could have taken place elsewhere off campus.
 

oldude

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It is my sincere hope that the authorities at UConn and/or the State Police reach out to Meghan Gardler to ask her if she is willing to come forward now and tell her story. If she chooses not to, that’s fine. But there is no statue of limitations on sexual assault and, if proven, those who committed the assault as well as those who may have covered it up should face the consequences of their actions, regardless of who was involved.
 

UConnCat

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Unfortunately the answer is yes. Had Meghan just said "#MeToo", and left it at that, then of course we would feel badly for her and respect her privacy. But by adding " I was sexually assaulted in college. It was covered up by the powers that be", she is basically accusing "someone" at the university.

Was it the police? Someone in the administration? Or god forbid, Geno or someone on the WCBB staff? Unfortunately, this is a story I suspect will get some legs, it will show up on other WCBB boards, and as long as it's left vague with no additional information, could be used against Geno in recruiting.

I get her right to privacy, but when you lob an accusation like that out there, it will lead to all kinds of speculation, and none of it will do anyone any good. Such a sad situation in every respect. My heart goes out to her... bad enough to live thru it, but to have the additional horror of it being covered up, had to make it that much more difficult for her to deal with... :(

Excellent post Eric.
 

EricLA

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Excellent post Eric.
Thanks Cat (and JS). I suspect there will be more than the usual "emotional" reactions to this "story". What she went thru is a horrifying prospect for any parent, and while I totally respect those who call for her "right to privacy", when you accuse the "powers that be" at the university of a cover-up, you (perhaps unwittingly) open the door to a whole host of follow up questions...

Having said that, I'm certainly not looking to get into a heated debate regarding rights of privacy vs. broad accusations against someone(s) at the university. And I certainly don't want to tread on anyone who has a strong emotional reaction to the story... :(
 

UConnCat

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Kathy and Geno Auriemma have known Meghan for her entire life. Her father was Geno's high school coach and the reason she came to play at UConn. It's difficult to get my head around what she said -- not the allegations of sexual assault but the allegations of a cover-up.
 

ThisJustIn

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First: a "why didn't she..." response is a tad naive. Look at Baylor. Look at women's gymnastics. Look at US Swimming. Look at the 2003 series "Coaches Who Prey."

Second: it's up to both UConn and MG to address this. This won't be a "google" thing because she isn't Maya or Sue. BUT, we know UConn reads this board. Ball's in their court

Third: ESPNw has already touched on athletes who have spoken up. Perhaps they'll go deeper.....

Fourth: it's useful to note that, per Nan's survey, this board is made up mostly of men. I implore every male poster to reflect on their actions... and reflect on the experiences of the women in their lives. The percentage of women who've experienced sexual assault or harassment is heartbreakingly high. That's been known for years and yet, somehow, it reads like the #METOO hashtag is brand new information. It's not. Women are harassed, and they they're harassed if they speak up. It's a vicious cycle. I encourage you to read every article that's surfaced. And believe women. And teach your fathers, sons, friends, co-workers and strangers on the street that harassment and abuse of women (and men) is unacceptable.

Please.

#MeToo
 

Aluminny69

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21032541_10104539483650261_8351586501405426983_n.jpg
 
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Unfortunately the answer is yes. Had Meghan just said "#MeToo", and left it at that, then of course we would feel badly for her and respect her privacy. But by adding " I was sexually assaulted in college. It was covered up by the powers that be", she is basically accusing "someone" at the university.

Was it the police? Someone in the administration? Or god forbid, Geno or someone on the WCBB staff? Unfortunately, this is a story I suspect will get some legs, it will show up on other WCBB boards, and as long as it's left vague with no additional information, could be used against Geno in recruiting.

I get her right to privacy, but when you lob an accusation like that out there, it will lead to all kinds of speculation, and none of it will do anyone any good. Such a sad situation in every respect. My heart goes out to her... bad enough to live thru it, but to have the additional horror of it being covered up, had to make it that much more difficult for her to deal with... :(

Well said. She's accused UConn of a cover-up (at least it looks like that--did she attend any other institutions?). We have railed against Baylor for that behavior, so we cant ignore an accusation involving UConn. There are many possibilities for the who, how, what, when of this, but I dont think leaving it at what is known at this moment is an option. Of course, it could remain there if she elects not to cooperate with an investigation. But there needs to be at least an attempt at an inquiry. I dont know by whom, but it needs to be attempted.
 

LasVegasYank

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Wow! Looks almost as good as HuskyNan. :D

OK, I'm a brownnoser. :)
 

CocoHusky

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Only a slight difference of opinion, Coco. We can ask, but in doing so aren't performing a positive function and have no right to an answer.

Asking for more facts without a need to know, e.g. a university fact-finding/remedial function, is bad form, IMO. It runs counter to one of the attractions of #MeToo -- that you can overcome your fear of being put under a microscope if you speak up.

Some very prominent participants have given details, others have kept it general. That's up to them. It's a big step either way. Asking them to go further because of one's curiosity can be counterproductive and even smack a bit of titillation.

I applaud all the #MeToo women, the vast majority of whom I take to be sincere. After all, it's not exactly great publicity for the self-seeking.

The timing may be tough in a particular instance (as it may be here) but the important thing is for those with a sincere grievance to participate -- i.e. to contribute toward the goal of putting improper behavior in its shameful and hopefully dwindling place.
Actually that's not a difference of opinion at all, it simply is much more eloquently stated.
 

bschwartz

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based on her Tweet, it sounded like she didn't want to get more attention, media coverage.
 
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If you're going to accuse the University of something this serious, she needs to name names privacy or not (not necessarily to us obviously). I really don't like these kinds of innuendos that seem pervasive these days (whether it's basketball or politics) where you can just throw something out there and never have to back it up. Why couldn't she have gone to her coaching staff if the school was trying to bury it? Geno is the highest paid employee in the state, surely he has enough juice to get something done if something like that happens to one of his players and certainly has a large enough platform otherwise.
Do you believe Megan G. is untruthful? If you followed the previous, high visibility, accusers you would have seen a bit of disbelief, and a bit of thinking them untruthful. Big corporation and Uconn fills all the characteristics of a corporation, protects it's image and the first mode of operation is usually to victimize the victims. For myself, I would like to have those involved especially the perpetrator(s) exposed. I believe most rats run from the light that expose them; it's just who they are and how they operate. Megan's words is a start it would be nice if she chose to go further. But her words: (not a word for word quote) she is fearful apparently of retribution! Geno has high visibility within the state--that begins and ends his ability to get things done or do you think the taxes in Ct would be so high??
 

Wally East

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It is those who have suffered their abuse that are abusing those who may have future contact with that abusive person.

Are you seriously blaming the victims of abuse for anything done in the future by their abuser?

SERIOUSLY?

No.

You know who is responsible for the abuse of future victims? THE ABUSER.
 

Wally East

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She came forward and it was buried.

Who at UConn during her time as a student would have had the power to bury it?

If the perpetrator was a typical student or professor, do you think it would've been buried?
 
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It is my sincere hope that the authorities at UConn and/or the State Police reach out to Meghan Gardler to ask her if she is willing to come forward now and tell her story. If she chooses not to, that’s fine. But there is no statue of limitations on sexual assault and, if proven, those who committed the assault as well as those who may have covered it up should face the consequences of their actions, regardless of who was involved.
es

As in all charge of a criminal nature; it is easier to state your fact (in this case sexual abuse) than to have sufficient legal proof. But, some one from the States Attorney General, since Uconn is a State institution, should call her and ask for further details. There is no time limit on filing charge for sexual assault in CT? Some states offer 7 years to make formal charge the limit. I believe Megan--get the sob.
 
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Are you seriously blaming the victims of abuse for anything done in the future by their abuser?

SERIOUSLY?

No.

You know who is responsible for the abuse of future victims? THE ABUSER.
Reading is FUNdamental!
 
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Notice all the "me toos" on timelines? Who's to blame?

We talk about how many women were raped last year, not about how many men raped women.

We talk about how many girls in a school district were harassed last year, not about how many boys harassed girls. We talk about how many teenage girls got pregnant last year, rather than how many men impregnated teenage girls.

So you can see how the use of the passive voice has a political effect. It shifts the focus off of men and boys and onto girls and women. Even the term ‘violence against women’ is problematic. It’s a passive construction; there’s no active agent in the sentence.

It’s a bad thing that happens to women, but when you look at that term ’violence against women,’ nobody is doing it to them. It just happens to them. Men aren’t even a part of it.
 

HuskyNan

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Women have been suffering abuses large and small forever. That Megan suffered from something that has harmed her to the point that it still affects her makes me sad, so very sad.

A video I saw on Facebook (48 Things Women Hear In A Lifetime (That Men Just Don't) | HuffPost) made me grimace. I've heard most of those comments. I've been physically assaulted (a boss came up behind me and grabbed me around the bust) but in those days, we were supposed to be, well, not a b*tch towards men. It's time for a change folks.

#MeToo
 
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