I extend my deepest of thanks to everyone. Things are still a bit painful, but I'll be back to normal in a bit of time. As
@Spokesbender mentioned, all of it ended up happening during the anniversary of when my first son died. Basically I was a dumb teenager who didn't think much about the future, and ended up getting my girlfriend at the time pregnant. Our son was born prematurely and never came home from the hospital. He'd have just turned 25, and there's so much I wonder about. I wonder what kind of man he'd be today, what kind of big brother he'd have been to my two surviving children, and how at this point in his life, the two of us could be enjoying a few beers together taking in a UConn/Mets/Jets game. I'm a firm believer in the idea of an afterlife and hope I'll finally get to know him then.