OT-College choice for my son

[Wise2]

My son has been going to Uconn games since he was a baby and is now in his junior year of high school. He attended Calhoun Baseball camp for two summers. Its time to start looking at schools and he has the grades to get into Uconn, but his interest is luke warm. I think he has been over exposed to UConn and maybe his summer experience staying in Northwest campus has sullied his experience. He told me yesterday, he want to look at UMass. NFW is he going to UMass before UConn.

I tried to give him the speach that my father gave me, If you get into a better school than UConn, then you can go, otherwise its UConn. Yes, I know I will be most likely paying the bills and can force him, but how do I make him think that its his decision?

 

[WestHartHusk]

My son has been going to Uconn games since he was a baby and is now in his junior year of high school. He attended Calhoun Baseball camp for two summers. Its time to start looking at schools and he has the grades to get into Uconn, but his interest is luke warm. I think he has been over exposed to UConn and maybe his summer experience staying in Northwest campus has sullied his experience. He told me yesterday, he want to look at UMass. NFW is he going to UMass before UConn.

I tried to give him the speach that my father gave me, If you get into a better school than UConn, then you can go, otherwise its UConn. Yes, I know I will be most likely paying the bills and can force him, but how do I make him think that its his decision?

Find a Catholic or Jewish mother, they can help.

 

[upstater]

My son has been going to Uconn games since he was a baby and is now in his junior year of high school. He attended Calhoun Baseball camp for two summers. Its time to start looking at schools and he has the grades to get into Uconn, but his interest is luke warm. I think he has been over exposed to UConn and maybe his summer experience staying in Northwest campus has sullied his experience. He told me yesterday, he want to look at UMass. NFW is he going to UMass before UConn.

I tried to give him the speach that my father gave me, If you get into a better school than UConn, then you can go, otherwise its UConn. Yes, I know I will be most likely paying the bills and can force him, but how do I make him think that its his decision?

Find a publication that shows the virginity rates at UMass versus UConn.

 

[Wise2]

Find a Catholic or Jewish mother, they can help.

I have one of those and its not helping. I think I have to take him on a few crappy campus tours of some other run down schools. Umass fits that bill and then get him on a tour at UConn, so he has something to compare it too. I just hope he doesn't fall in love with another school first.

 

[WhereistheDove?]

You know what got me to go to UConn? My parents made the deal that they would pay 2/3 of any school costs and I would pay 1/3 (and if I got straight A's they'd reimburse me for that semester). I definitely wasn't going to a worse school than UConn because it was coming out of my pocket and I didn't screw around nearly as much as some of my friends because I had some skin in the game.

 

[Wise2]

Find a publication that shows the virginity rates at UMass versus UConn.

I had a feeling that this is where it was going to go...

I think the real problem is that kids that age have no idea what they want yet. At least mine doesn't. So, they want to keep their options open.

 

[WestHartHusk]

In all seriousness, explain finances to him. I wasn't originally going to UConn either until someone sat down with me and explained the cost to attend a school out of state, the interest and debt I would be carrying for years, and the lack of an alumni network if I returned to CT.

 

[HooperScooper]

I live in Massachusetts and if you live in CT there's absolutely no way you should pay out of state tuition to go to UMass over UConn. UConn is a better school all around than UMass. Why pay twice the tuition to go to an inferior state school? Tell your son no way. Plus UMass sports in general stink.

 

[kyle]

Neither are worth out of state tuition, so UConn it is. (assuming you live in CT)

 

[breezy]

My ex girlfriends' parents told her and her brothers the following: "we will pay for your undergrad years up to a certain amount (enough to completely cover most schools). Whatever difference is leftover is yours upon graduation."

Her brothers of course picked the state university.

 

[Wise2]

You know what got me to go to UConn? My parents made the deal that they would pay 2/3 of any school costs and I would pay 1/3 (and if I got straight A's they'd reimburse me for that semester). I definitely wasn't going to a worse school than UConn because it was coming out of my pocket and I didn't screw around nearly as much as some of my friends because I had some skin in the game.

I like that idea, expect, I think my son thinks he is already entitled and that I will willing pay for any 55 thousand dollar school. He may be in for a surprise. Ultimately, if we went to UConn, I'm sure he will have a great experience.

 

[BRS24]

It will be so much more fun watching all of the successful UConn sports programs ... M soccer, M&W hoop, football (hopefully!).

 

[Walker11]

Give him a short history of John Calipari and make him feel slimy by association.

 

[Dogdeacon]

I like that idea, expect, I think my son thinks he is already entitled and that I will willing pay for any 55 thousand dollar school. He may be in for a surprise. Ultimately, if we went to UConn, I'm sure he will have a great experience.

There are a ton of UConn students here on the boneyard and on the campus that chose the school for a combination of reasons with cost almost always having a positive or pro-UConn influence. I would try to get him to talk to some students and alumni to deliver that message. Like many I chose UConn (seemingly a hundred years ago in tuition time) because it was far less than other schools. But at the time I thought that made UConn worse and somehow reflected badly on me. Then once there I had a great time and found the decision to be incredibly smart from a value and future debt perspective.

But it is really hard as a parent to pick the 'value' option and even harder for an individual as it requires almost a settle type of mindset.

 

[boog204]

I was 85% I wanted to go to UConn to begin with, but once I truly understood the cost involved and my parents willingness to help w/ an in-state school (as opposed to amounting mountains of debt for both of us), the decision became simple.

 

[huskiesnyc]

So your son has the grades to get into UConn, a top 20 public university #1 in New England and he's considering a crappy school like UMass? My question is why do you need ask for our advice on how to handle that one? It seems pretty self explanatory to me.

http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandr...ges/rankings/national-universities/top-public

 

[Wise2]

There are a ton of UConn students here on the boneyard and on the campus that chose the school for a combination of reasons with cost almost always having a positive or pro-UConn influence. I would try to get him to talk to some students and alumni to deliver that message. Like many I chose UConn (seemingly a hundred years ago in tuition time) because it was far less than other schools. But at the time I thought that made UConn worse and somehow reflected badly on me. Then once there I had a great time and found the decision to be incredibly smart from a value and future debt perspective.

But it is really hard as a parent to pick the 'value' option and even harder for an individual as it requires almost a settle type of mindset.

Thanks, I'm sure that is has a lot to do with it too. Again, we are just starting the process, but I thought that he would already want to go to UCONN, but the over exposure may be steering him away.

 

[mauconnfan]

My son has been going to Uconn games since he was a baby and is now in his junior year of high school. He attended Calhoun Baseball camp for two summers. Its time to start looking at schools and he has the grades to get into Uconn, but his interest is luke warm. I think he has been over exposed to UConn and maybe his summer experience staying in Northwest campus has sullied his experience. He told me yesterday, he want to look at UMass. NFW is he going to UMass before UConn.

I tried to give him the speach that my father gave me, If you get into a better school than UConn, then you can go, otherwise its UConn. Yes, I know I will be most likely paying the bills and can force him, but how do I make him think that its his decision?

Explain to him how much he will be paying out of his own pocket if he decides on UMess compared to how much you will pay for him if he goes to UConn……LOL

Lay it out on paper along with the payments for when he gets out……..

 

[Drumguy]

In all seriousness, explain finances to him. I wasn't originally going to UConn either until someone sat down with me and explained the cost to attend a school out of state, the interest and debt I would be carrying for years, and the lack of an alumni network if I returned to CT.

Me too. I was all for a small private school in NJ but then realized UConn had more choices in majors, activities and was significantly cheaper.

 

[Dogbreath2U]

For some kids, I think that there is a desire to be further away from home. Some New England state schools will provide aid so that there is little difference between going to the in-state University and the one from another state. Having the conversation about how a 50K+ school was just too expensive was difficult but necessary for us. You wish that there were no limits, but it is just not that way.

 

[Walker11]

So your son has the grades to get into UConn, a top 20 public university #1 in New England and he's considering a crappy school like UMass? My question is why do you need ask for our advice on how to handle that one? It seems pretty self explanatory to me.

http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandr...ges/rankings/national-universities/top-public

If you are expecting a 16-17 year old to be making rational choices then you're the crazy one.

 

[Sportsman5]

For some kids, I think that there is a desire to be further away from home. Some New England state schools will provide aid so that there is little difference between going to the in-state University and the one from another state. Having the conversation about how a 50K+ school was just too expensive was difficult but necessary for us. You wish that there were no limits, but it is just not that way.

I completely agree that there is a desire to distance themselves from their lives at home. if a high % of their high school class is going to the instate school that can be a negative for many kids. A lot of kids want to reinvent themselves in college and be independent.

If a major is not offered at a state school in connecituct, but is offered at UMass, than you can get a discount on tuition. It won't equal out to instate tuition, but it will cut down on the difference and the amount saved will vary depending on the major. I got about 1/3 off out of state tuition at uconn.

 

[ZenConn]

I live in Massachusetts and if you live in CT there's absolutely no way you should pay out of state tuition to go to UMass over UConn. UConn is a better school all around than UMass. Why pay twice the tuition to go to an inferior state school? Tell your son no way. Plus UMass sports in general stink.

Throw in a car to sweeten the deal if he keeps his grades up after the first year. In the long run, paying for the car would be far less than 4 years of paying out of state tuition.

 

[Goat]

From the point of view of someone who has passed this junction in the road, remember that kids who are lucky enough to have living, concerned parents, are lucky because their parents can spare them from making a mistake.

I would say, "the gift of college is to help you put food on your table for life. I will pay for UConn or any school I can afford that is better regarded. I will not pay more than the cost of UConn for a comparable or lesser regarded school that is more costly unless there is an area of study there, that you already have expressed interest in, for which that school is better regarded than UConn.

My experience was, son went to a NESCAC school (Williams, Amherst, Trinity, etc.) undergraduate at $55k average/year. Solid education and 2 sport D3 athlete experience, which was cool. UConn for grad school (cost for that was on him). He has remarked that he would have been fine going to UConn for both. I managed to smile.

 

[tcf15]

My son has been going to Uconn games since he was a baby and is now in his junior year of high school. He attended Calhoun Baseball camp for two summers. Its time to start looking at schools and he has the grades to get into Uconn, but his interest is luke warm. I think he has been over exposed to UConn and maybe his summer experience staying in Northwest campus has sullied his experience. He told me yesterday, he want to look at UMass. NFW is he going to UMass before UConn.

I tried to give him the speach that my father gave me, If you get into a better school than UConn, then you can go, otherwise its UConn. Yes, I know I will be most likely paying the bills and can force him, but how do I make him think that its his decision?

Be sure to check out the New England Regional program if he eventually elects to choose a school instead of UConn. If you live in CT and he goes to a school in one of the participating states, he'll be eligible to get a discount on tuition depending on the program he chooses.