OT-College choice for my son

[Greg]

My son has been going to Uconn games since he was a baby and is now in his junior year of high school. He attended Calhoun Baseball camp for two summers. Its time to start looking at schools and he has the grades to get into Uconn, but his interest is luke warm. I think he has been over exposed to UConn and maybe his summer experience staying in Northwest campus has sullied his experience. He told me yesterday, he want to look at UMass. NFW is he going to UMass before UConn.

I tried to give him the speach that my father gave me, If you get into a better school than UConn, then you can go, otherwise its UConn. Yes, I know I will be most likely paying the bills and can force him, but how do I make him think that its his decision?

Having been through this with my own son (he wound up going to Seton Hall And then transferring to UConn) just know that if your son puts his mind to getting a quality education one can be found at any University. While I believe that a private and smaller school can offer uniques opportunities I know that even at a large state school one can become educated if one tries hard.

The last thing a student should do is to pick a school based on an athletic program unless the student plans to become a professional ball player.

 

[Vuce]

I live in Massachusetts and if you live in CT there's absolutely no way you should pay out of state tuition to go to UMass over UConn. UConn is a better school all around than UMass. Why pay twice the tuition to go to an inferior state school? Tell your son no way. Plus UMass sports in general stink.

Here here. I am in the same boat as Hooper. If I lived in CT there is no way I would be paying for my kid to go to a different state school than Uconn. It is the TOP PUBLIC SCHOOL IN NEW ENGLAND. My daughter is looking at schools and I am looking at ways for her to pay in state rates to go to Uconn. Hey, if illegals can get in state tuition why can't I since I pay taxes in CT and MA?

 

[WhereistheDove?]

I like that idea, expect, I think my son thinks he is already entitled and that I will willing pay for any 55 thousand dollar school. He may be in for a surprise. Ultimately, if we went to UConn, I'm sure he will have a great experience.

I'll leave you with this. The straight-As and you get reimbursed program was started before my junior year. Up until then I had a respectable but mediocre 3.3 GPA, which went up to a 3.95 in the four semesters afterwards. I fully believe in the power of monetary incentives haha.

 

[CAHUSKY]

The last thing a student should do is to pick a school based on an athletic program unless the student plans to become a professional ball player.

My criteria was as far away from home (San Francisco) aa possible and a great basketball team. Honest to God, those were my deciding factors. Led me to make an absolutely wonderful decision. UCONN!

 

[Sportsman5]

My son has been going to Uconn games since he was a baby and is now in his junior year of high school. He attended Calhoun Baseball camp for two summers. Its time to start looking at schools and he has the grades to get into Uconn, but his interest is luke warm. I think he has been over exposed to UConn and maybe his summer experience staying in Northwest campus has sullied his experience. He told me yesterday, he want to look at UMass. NFW is he going to UMass before UConn.

I tried to give him the speach that my father gave me, If you get into a better school than UConn, then you can go, otherwise its UConn. Yes, I know I will be most likely paying the bills and can force him, but how do I make him think that its his decision?

I would focus on short term benefits as opposed to long term financial things. Play to his emotions and instant gratification mindset as opposed to adult logic. That will be the most effective in my opinion. If you know of anyone in your community that has a son or daughter who goes to uconn, than I would reach out to them and see if that student is willing to give them an unofficial tour or something like that. Maybe in return you and your son can take that student out to lunch. When I was a student I would have been more than willing to do something like that, especially if I got a free lunch out of it He will likely not be impressed with low tuition rates and new STEM buildings that the official tour will show and point out to him. He needs to get emotionally excited about the school. This is why sports teams have players visit school for games and spend time with the current team members. It's not the academics and facilities that sell high school students as much as when they get a good emotional feeling and a peer approval.

 

[Chuck]

As someone that has never lived in New England outside my four years in Storrs, the reputations of UConn and UMass have diverged tremendously since I went to UConn in the early 90's. UMass, from what I see, is now lumped in with the other New England publics. They're not looked down upon, but it's just another public University. UConn gets a bump to that next level of sub-public ivies. I can't speak to what grad schools think of the two schools, but purely unscientifically, I think UConn is the MUCH better call at this time. Not even close. One other piece of advice, if he plans on going to grad school, there is no reason to even think of UMass. When I interviewed for jobs out of law school (and when I interview kids now), undergrad school means next to nothing other than a point of general information or confirmation.

The whole UConn vs. private school is a tougher decision. My father told me he'd pay for private school if it was better than UConn. He was not interested in Syracuse or some others because, to him, it was throwing money away. I agree with him, but my wife went to an upper-end liberal arts college. She definitely met people and has an alumni network that I couldn't dream of. The funny thing is, though, most of her friends are very well respected professors, government officials, and museum curators. She marvels at how much more money my UConn friends have made. That doesn't make them more successful or better people, but it is interesting.

My kids are only in elementary school so I don't have to worry yet, but I don't want them going to our state University (Rutgers), so I'm screwed with tuition unless they develop an unexpected athletic talent or academic prowess.

 

[dsturdy5]

I completely agree that there is a desire to distance themselves from their lives at home. if a high % of their high school class is going to the instate school that can be a negative for many kids. A lot of kids want to reinvent themselves in college and be independent.

If a major is not offered at a state school in connecituct, but is offered at UMass, than you can get a discount on tuition. It won't equal out to instate tuition, but it will cut down on the difference and the amount saved will vary depending on the major. I got about 1/3 off out of state tuition at uconn.

This is exactly why I went to UConn over UMass in the fall of 97. Too many kids I knew went to UMass and I wanted to get away. On top of that, they didn't offer a direct pipeline to a masters in education like UConn did/does. Yes the debt sucks big ones but in the end, I'm happier and, I think, more successful because of the choice I made.

 

[ScottBonz]

The difference between Uconn and Umass is too big to ignore as far as academics and cost. My father had the same discussion as most here about cost, etc. I had a choice but the day they said, "oh I thought you already decided on Uconn" pretty much said it all.

 

[Strummer]

Certainly a very personal matter, with no absolute "right" or "wrong."

Here's the system I applied to my gang of kids, and it has worked out well:

You go to Penn State (was UConn prior to a move) unless one of the following applies:

1. You get into a great school. Not a good school. Not a very good school. A great school. With national recognition - most of the Ivies, MIT, and so on.
2. You have a particular, proven dedication to a particular field that another college offers that Penn State doesn't, or where the other school has a substantially more respected program.
3. You pay your own way, in which case go wherever you'd like!

My point was only this - I view college to be 80% getting an education and 20% living life outside of school. I was always unwilling to pay extra $, and usually huge extra dollars, to send a kid to a school that was no better than UConn/PSU, because he/she liked the campus, didn't feel like a number, had a 10 minute notion that they wanted to major in X, and so on. I was particularly against spending 20 or 30 grand a year more on small schools that had little or no national recognition.

A UConn/PSU education is a fine education. If you go to either of those schools and bust your ass and graduate high in your class, you will have very few doors closed to you. Sure, you need a top 20 degree to get certain jobs or to get into certain grad schools. No doubt about it. You're not likely to become a Harvard Law professor if your law degree was from UConn.

So that was the deal - get into a top 20 or so school, and I'll pay for it, or what I can. Other than top twenty, it's UConn/PSU unless you can sell me that you desperately want to be a fountain garden designer and small, private school Z, which costs 20 grand a year more is internationally recognized as the best garden designer school in this solar system.

Worked so far, and seemed to naturally sort the kids.

 

[amory]

Honestly, it should be his decision. You should just tell him what you'll pay for, a dollar amount, and give him a rundown of all the things that make UConn awesome. But then let him choose.

It's a really big deal for kids. One of their first decisions that makes them really feel like an adult.


EDIT: I should clarify though, under no circumstances should you allow him to choose freakin UMass over UConn. lol the idea of that is just, kind of funny. Let him visit the campus he'll never want to go there again.

 

[RM99]

If he goes to UMass he will always be known as a minute man.

 

[huskypantz]

I was down to UConn, Umass, Bentley and Bryant. I was leaning toward Bryant. My dad wrote down the cost of Bryant, then subtracted the cost at UConn and said "this is what you will pay yourself every year if you go there. I chose UConn. Good thing, because he was laid off from P & W my junior year and I spent 5 years due to a change in my major. Two months into my freshman year I realized what a great decision I had made. Even after visiting friends at Bryant I never had a doubt again.

 

[ctchamps]

Have him read the "OT: Just got accepted to UConn thread". It's an overwhelming endorsement of the university.

 

[DarthGrumpy]

Admittedly, I did not want to go to UConn when I was a Senior in High School in the early 1990's and it had nothing to do with the fact that the campus was really run down at that time except for Gampel. It was the fact that it was in CT and I had spent nearly my entire life in CT. Your son may feel the same way if he has been going to UConn events forever.

My first choice (please don't kill me) was Syracuse; but, I was somehow mature enough to realize that I did not get enough financial aid from them to go. My second was Delaware, not because it was a better school; but, because it was 4 hours away from home (and it was 80 F outside during my campus visit and all of the girls were wearing shorts, skits, and nicely cut shirts).

End of the day, my parents told me that they were not sending me to an out-of-state school when I could go to UConn. Thus, I acted like I did not want to be in Storrs for my 1st year and almost paid dearly for that. After that first year, I learned and accepted, got involved in a sports club, got my grades in order and got out of UConn what I put into it. Damn good time.

 

[DarthGrumpy]

I was down to UConn, Umass, Bentley and Bryant. I was leaning toward Bryant. My dad wrote down the cost of Bryant, then subtracted the cost at UConn and said "this is what you will pay yourself every year if you go there. I chose UConn. Good thing, because he was laid off from P & W my junior year and I spent 5 years due to a change in my major. Two months into my freshman year I realized what a great decision I had made. Even after visiting friends at Bryant I never had a doubt again.

Laid off at P&W, that sounds familiar, except it happened to my Dad my Sophomore year. That royally sucked.

 

[Hoophound]

I was down to UConn, Umass, Bentley and Bryant. I was leaning toward Bryant. My dad wrote down the cost of Bryant, then subtracted the cost at UConn and said "this is what you will pay yourself every year if you go there. I chose UConn. Good thing, because he was laid off from P & W my junior year and I spent 5 years due to a change in my major. Two months into my freshman year I realized what a great decision I had made. Even after visiting friends at Bryant I never had a doubt again.

The big thing is that UConn offers a great traditional college experience. Bryant has an awful lot to offer in terms of curriculum and the campus is really nice, but it feels more like a prep school due to its size. Kids at Bryant get to the point that they recognize almost every face on campus. I spent time at both schools and liked both a lot, but if I had to pick one for my kids, I'd pick UConn. The sports, wide range of people and other opportunities were great. It's a classic college experience. However, if you've got a kid that knows exactly what he wants to do in business and he's focused, Bryant is awesome. The professors there will help you build a company from the ground up if you ask. It's a very strong business education and those that embrace it will find incredible resources at Bryant both during school and years later as an alum. Nothing bad to say about the place. Just two very different animals and both gave me my money's worth.

 

[Husky]

Calmly explain to him that anyone who attends a different college is a communist / terrorist.

 

[Uconnrick]

In all seriousness, explain finances to him. I wasn't originally going to UConn either until someone sat down with me and explained the cost to attend a school out of state, the interest and debt I would be carrying for years, and the lack of an alumni network if I returned to CT.

We live in Ohio and both my kids were accepted to and wanted to go to UConn. The cost was prohibitive for out of state students, even with the scholarship money they were offered. I offered to pay for 2/3's of an Ohio state school with the remaining 1/3 reimbursable if they made deans list each semester. They both decided the debt and interest they'd incur was too much and they both went to Miami. I hadn't considered the lack of a alumni network and it's importance. Good point!

 

[uconndoit]

The big thing is that UConn offers a great traditional college experience. Bryant has an awful lot to offer in terms of curriculum and the campus is really nice, but it feels more like a prep school due to its size. Kids at Bryant get to the point that they recognize almost every face on campus. I spent time at both schools and liked both a lot, but if I had to pick one for my kids, I'd pick UConn. The sports, wide range of people and other opportunities were great. It's a classic college experience. However, if you've got a kid that knows exactly what he wants to do in business and he's focused, Bryant is awesome. The professors there will help you build a company from the ground up if you ask. It's a very strong business education and those that embrace it will find incredible resources at Bryant both during school and years later as an alum. Nothing bad to say about the place. Just two very different animals and both gave me my money's worth.

That was a big reason I went to Uconn. My first semester was at Temple Univ's small branch in Tokyo. My father suggested that I go to Uconn to get the big university experience with Div 1 sports and other activities with a huge variety of people instead of living at home and spending a few years commuting to essentially an office building where my classmates were mostly Japanese with a few gaijin sprinkled in on a rotating basis. I very easily got straight A's at Temple whereas Uconn was much more challenging academically and from, let's say, a social life balance perspective ... but in the end I certainly did get the great traditional university experience ... for one (big) thing, 1989 and on has been a pretty good time for men's basketball at Uconn and ever since I caught the bug it has brought me years of pride, excitement and the occasional broken remote control.

 

[hthusky74]

You know what got me to go to UConn? My parents made the deal that they would pay 2/3 of any school costs and I would pay 1/3 (and if I got straight A's they'd reimburse me for that semester). I definitely wasn't going to a worse school than UConn because it was coming out of my pocket and I didn't screw around nearly as much as some of my friends because I had some skin in the game.

This is is truly the answer. You tell your kid here is the max I can give you to go to school each year (which if you can afford it happens to equal UConn's in-state tuition, room and board). Then explain what loans are and about the interest ates and amortization. If they get it fine. If not, they are too stupid to go to college. You never know they could get a grant from a private or out of state school that balances things out. But to incur debt or throw money away to go to UMass with an out-of-state tuition is pure stupidity. Frankly, that goes for any state university outside of CT, unless they get a huge grant to go.

 

[hthusky74]

Be sure to check out the New England Regional program if he eventually elects to choose a school instead of UConn. If you live in CT and he goes to a school in one of the participating states, he'll be eligible to get a discount on tuition depending on the program he chooses.

Only if that major isn't offered in his home state's state university.

 

[thatguyed]

Show him the apartments in Storrs Center and tell him you'll set him up there after freshman year. They're great and the cost is about the same as the dorms. Discuss it over the biggest sundae the Dairy Bar has to offer while they pipe in Kemba footage on the TV. Do it when the biggest sorority on campus is holding some kind of spring (i.e., shorts and tee shirts) fundraiser right outside. Have Ollie and Diaco walk in to close the deal.

And, yeah, show him how much the UMess campus really sucks a** and how much he'll have to pay to live in a slum.

 

[Penfield]

When I started looking at schools my dad said he would take me anywhere I wanted to look. Went all over the Northeast looking at schools. After applying to a handful and looking at who accepted me, he sat me down and said that basically I could choose any school where the scholarships came close to matching UConn instate tuition. At the time I was upset because I had my heart set on Deleware, but I am glad he did this. First, growing up a Husky fan, my life would not be the same without those 4 years of going to games and celebrating the 04 Championship on campus. I ended up loving my time at UConn and most importantly, I left school w/ much less debt than many of my peers. In the end UConn was just as good or better than any other school I got into.

I think at the time I felt this was my first real opportunity to get away from home and be my own person. Even though they lived close, my parents respected my privacy at school. I also realized that just because people from my high school went to UConn didn't mean I couldn't branch out and make new friends too. UConn provided everything I wanted in a college experience and in the end this is all I really needed. It was actually nice to be able to get home in less than 30 minutes when I wanted to.

 

[DSquiz]

My fiance is from MA and went to UConn. She toured UMass several times and the campus is trash, old and grimy. UConn she fell in love with with a single tour.

Go on a tour of both campuses. I think the decision will make itself.

 

[Zorro]

Tell him that you absolutely forbid him to attend UConn.