New Boneyard Channel on Directv

[joober jones]

If they locked all of us up in a building together it might make for an interesting reality show.

 

[Waquoit]

Edit: wow, t-i-t-s doesn't make it past the profanity filter

True, you have to call them golden bozos.

 

[CL82]

Hmm the site is interesting random. T.i.t.s are verboten but

Knockers,
Jugs,
Fun-bags,
Twin Peaks,
Pillows,
,
Boobies,
Bazangas
Tatas, and
Bongos

are all fine, apparently. Any other favorites out there?

 

[Horatio]

"WTF fridays " featuring the most "WTF" plays in college basketball and hosted by our own, beloved Johnny " Base Line" Selvie.

"Free Styling with Tyler" hosted by Tyler Olander. Tyler goes around campus
, home and away games and gets fans to free style while he beat boxes. Cash and prizes given out to the best free styler.

" F-U, Next!!!!" The show in which Boneyard members, insult , harass the families , and expose the weaknesses of 4-5 star recruits that didn't choose
Uconn .

 

[storrsroars]

 

[Eskapeesto]

Another movie proposal: Tom Cruise as Bob Diaco. Team practices revolve around the application of Dianetics. Susan Herbst becomes his new "girlfriend." Then things take a creepy Foxcatcher vibe...

 

[nomar]

"Quite Frankly," hosted by Chief

First guest: Andre Drummond*








*Nope

 

[joober jones]

MONDAY NIGHT

6pm: Shootin' with Scotty : Scottie Haralson has left the basketball court and now owns a shooting range. The goal isn't to hit the target, but just to get as many shots off as you can before two twenty minute periods have expired. Between the two periods, Jim Calhoun shows up to yell at the contestants.

6:30pm: Majok Mysteries: Ater Majok introduces you to the show and then suddenly leaves. His disappearance is never explained and the rest of the show is just a still shot of a folding chair on a basketball court.

7pm: Fake it 'Til You Make it: An instructional program where Ed Nelson teaches the finer points of the pump fake.

7:30pm: Ten Toes In: With basketball season over, Kevin Ollie discovers a new interest in giving pedicures.

8pm: Hartford Hope: Pat Lenehan has graduated from medical school and is now a high-profile surgeon at Hartford Hospital. Making his job more difficult is the constant presence of middle aged former classmates constantly chanting his name.

9pm: The White Shadow: Unrelated to the hit late 70s/early 80s series of the same name, this show simply features Ben Eaves following people around until they ask him to stop. At the end of each episode, Ben treats viewers to the Cockney phrase of the day.

10pm: This Old House: Phil Nolan discovers that he's also talented at literally setting screens.

10:30pm: Have Cheeseburgers, Will Travel: Marcus Williams takes the viewer around the world to show the highlights of the various countries where he's lived and played ball, thanks to getting out of shape and not lasting in the NBA.

11pm: Stick Your Neck Out with Hilton Armstrong: Hilton tutors viewers on high risk/high reward investment strategies in Turkish stocks.

11:30pm: The All-New Miami Vice: Shabazz Napier talks Ray Allen into coming back to Miami and the two spend their leisure time solving crimes and busting perps in South Beach.

 

[CallMeBruce]

I'd watch all of those, but "Fake It 'Til You Make It" would have the best theme song, right?

 

[joober jones]

I'd watch all of those, but "Fake It 'Til You Make It" would have the best theme song, right?

Without question.

 

[Dove]

Fridays at midnight:

"Boneyard After Dark" (NC-17).
John and John Altavilla.

The Johns review the best and worst of cheerleading and sideline reporting in the AAC.

This one is hysterical.

Ill add some tonight. Only just read this thread.

 

[CallMeBruce]

Did the Courant finally can Altavilla for being a creepshow?

 

[gioff23]

Ad-hoc specials

The Logan Zone - Joe Zone hosts a monthly segment where he discusses the recruitment of Logan Marchi
Cheesesteak Wars - Geno and Pat (Summitt) periodically gather to host a point/counter-point like segment where they argue over who's a better coach and which team broke which rule (maybe too Philly for this board)
Moment of Silence - an hour dedicated to honoring the championships of Rutgers
Man vs. Food - John Marinatto takes on all-you-can-eat challenges from restaurants in Providence
Grammar Hints - segment hosted by Dez on how to include within an article typos, run-on sentences, and other grammatical doozies

 

[whaler11]

Documentary: Kiss of Death (R) (Graphic Collapses) Desmond Conner. Joel Osteen. Run Time: 4:13

Every player a mild mannered sports reporter hypes later washes out of a college football program. A shady preacher is brought in to exorcise his demons.

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

Lets start now:

Grammar Hint's - segment hosted by Dez on how to include within an article typo's, run-on sentence's, and other grammatical doozies

 

[storrsroars]

So far what's lacking is one of those "manual labor" reality shows. So I'm going to propose a show centered around this guy...

 

[Dove]

The Yarder's Court:

Yep, the Honorable Judge Deepster presiding over cases where Yarders sue people. Hangman swami is his conservative bailiff.

In episode 1 Dove sues a dry cleaner for destroying his satin pants. The defendant is Chan Ching Song. He says, "Those pants were damaged when dropped off". He's accused of...taking Dove to the cleaners.

And the highlight of the season premier...Dogfather sues Khalid El Amin. He is suing for the value of a year's worthof free pizzas. KEA says...."Most definitely, he shoulda picked UConn anyway". He's being sued for...clutch free throws makes BeneDuke a hungry man.

 

[Dove]

Yard Housewives

Each week we watch Sarah Northway, Meaghan Gardler, Svetlana Abrosimova and Paige Sauer act pretentious and stoopid in their daily lives. Narrated by Jim Calhoun.

 

[joober jones]

Yard Housewives

Each week we watch Sarah Northway, Meaghan Gardler, Svetlana Abrosimova and Paige Sauer act pretentious and stoopid in their daily lives. Narrated by Jim Calhoun.

Or just "Bending Over" featuring the above plus Swin Cash, Pam Webber, and Renee Montgomery, bending over to pick items up off the ground and from tables. Mandeldove runs the camera treating the audience to both back and front views. There's no narration as everyone's too busy drooling.

 

[Huskybass]

Thursdays at 9: Hanging Wit Andre Drummond, hosted by Chief00.

Chief leads viewers through the murky underworld of miscommunication, crossed signals, and outright delusion. Viewers are shown brief glimpses of Andre in faraway cities, seemingly oblivious to his plans in Storrs. Quite frankly, the show is a real snoozer and will likely be canceled after episode II.

 

[joober jones]

Thursdays at 9: Hanging Wit Andre Drummond, hosted by Chief00.

Chief leads viewers through the murky underworld of miscommunication, crossed signals, and outright delusion. Viewers are shown brief glimpses of Andre in faraway cities, seemingly oblivious to his plans in Storrs. Quite frankly, the show is a real snoozer and will likely be canceled after episode II.

The show will go a severe change in format in mid-season, changing its name to "Quite Frankly" and being about the ins and outs of grilling the perfect hot dog.

 

[2Husky]

Pranked - a punk'd rip off staring Rashad Anderson. First episode a recreation of classic prank of jumping out of the woods in a mask with a large knife scaring students near hilltop.

 

[ZenConn]

Pranked - a punk'd rip off staring Rashad Anderson. First episode a recreation of classic prank of jumping out of the woods in a mask with a large knife scaring students near hilltop.

Immediately followed by "Campus Cops" showing Rashad being taken away.

Campus COPS is filmed on location with the men and women of school rules enforcement. All suspects are guilty until proven innocent in a kangaroo court.

 

[joober jones]

FRIDAY NIGHT

6pm: Dance Dance Glen-volution: Glenn Miller tries to up the ante on humiliatingly bad dancing. Contestants then try to "serve" Miller by doing even worse. Every time a contestant beats Miller, he has to endure a tirade from a preselected Boneyarder over the lack of development among our bigs.

6:30pm: Heavy Metal: Ruslan Inyatkin and Stanley Robinson regale viewers with true tales of life in the metal scene.

7pm: I **ed Up: Hosted by Jim Calhoun, a different Boneyard member comes on every night to tell their personal tales of woe.

7:30pm: Boy Meets Wood: A half hour continuous replay of Rod Sellers smashing Christian Laettner's head into the floor. (This is the network's most highly rated show)

8pm: Phil in Charge: A remake of Charles in Charge, featuring Phil Nolan. He contains the misbehavior of the children in the house by standing in their way so they keep on falling over and are thus prevented from completing whatever ill capering they were up to.

8:30pm: Dr Alex, Medicine Mumu: Giving up on his playing career, Oriakhi becomes the chief medical trainer for the Chicago Cubs. His father manages to get him the job after team owners tell them they'll do whatever he wants if he stops using Twitter once and for all. AO's complete lack of medical knowledge leads to comically disastrous results, with the Cubs turning in an even worse season than usual.

9pm: On the Slide with Clyde: Clyde Vaughn teaches every man an important lesson - how to tell a prostitute from a cop.

9:30pm: Niels' Friday Night Oktoberfest: It matters not what the month is, this weekly installment is on year-round. Giffey shows off Germany's best watering holes and takes multiple shots from attractive barmaids in lederhosen, motorboat style.

10pm: What happened to Darius Smith and Jamal Trice?: Darius and Jamal are as uncertain as to their post-college whereabouts as we are. They wander around together in a non-descript shopping mall, scratching their heads and trying to figure out where they are as well as what they've been doing in the past few years.

10:30pm: Kasongo: Nothing happens, the screen just plays a high pitched tone and is populated by the colored pre-sign on bars.

11pm: Please Pronounce and Spell our names correctly: Terrence Samuel, Kevin Ollie, Lasan Kromah, Amida Brimah and Kentan Facey walk up to a blackboard and write their names. They then pronounce them carefully and write them again, breaking them down phonetically. There's a decent viewership, but errors still abound.

11:30pm: Sky King, or I Can Accept Plane Tickets from Anyone I Want Now Biatch: Kirk King flies around the world using tickets that fans and associates have purchased for him. As he stretches out in first class and enjoys fine wine poured by an equally fine stewardess, he taunts the NCAA, knowing that there's nothing they can do about it.

 

[CallMeBruce]

When do I get to watch Gettin' Turnt with Ben Gordon?