My starting lineup for next year, postseason ban edition.

[caw]

I would purely be aiming for entertainment value and to preserve the year's eligibility for anyone on the roster with even a shred of ability. If Bradley hadn't been here for seven years already without seeing the court, I wouldn't play him either.

You've heard of 40 minutes of Hell?

I'd introduce 40 minutes of WTF.

Ever see a team play defense by linking hands and stretching from one sideline to the other? No? Tune in. (Might be the perfect defense - all we gotta do is beat everyone to our spot and then the offense is forced to take a 40' shot or commit a charge.)

Since getting back to form our human chain defense is paramount, we will have to sacrifice some aspects of the game, like offense. And rebounding. And any and all fundamentals, pride, hope and honor. Our offense would be predicated on getting the ball away from our basket. We advance it just far enough to convince the defense to get back and then we let Roscoe throw it at the basket, the cheerleaders or the Jumbotron if it pleases him and then sprint back to form the chain.

When the other team shoots, we maintain the chain and either wait for the ball to roll back close enough to the chain so that we can retrieve it or we let it roll out of bounds. The chain is preserved at all costs.

I want the announcers to wonder out loud if I were actually trying to ruin the game of basketball.

Ahh the rarely seen Red Rover defense mixed with the hail mary offense. I think UConn would need some more of Alex O's holy water for next season's offense and perhaps go train with some elementary PE teachers for defense. Let's do it.

 

[HuskyBballFan]

We advance it just far enough to convince the defense to get back and then we let Roscoe throw it at the basket, the cheerleaders or the Jumbotron if it pleases him and then sprint back to form the chain.

Only problem is we'd be wasting a year of Roscoe's eligibility. But if we have Roscoe just run onto the court in street clothes to perform his full-court heaves, we'd be assessed a technical foul on every possession but at least we could maintain his redshirt status.

 

[prankster]

There's precedence. UCLA Softball got a one-year postseason ban for winning the World Series with a rented Australian pitcher who never attended a class named Tanya Harding (not to be confused with Tonya Harding, who famously arranged for Nancy Kerrigan to be attacked with a stick). They sat everyone a year and finished in last place in the Pac 10, then un-redshirted everyone and won it again.

K
E
Double R, I
G, A, N spells Kerrigan.

Tanya had her whacked upon the kneecap.
Thought her body...guard would take the whole rap.


Come on, Everybody sing along!

 

[partial]

Ever see a team play defense by linking hands and stretching from one sideline to the other? No? Tune in. (Might be the perfect defense - all we gotta do is beat everyone to our spot and then the offense is forced to take a 40' shot or commit a charge.)

Since getting back to form our human chain defense is paramount, we will have to sacrifice some aspects of the game, like offense. And rebounding. And any and all fundamentals, pride, hope and honor. Our offense would be predicated on getting the ball away from our basket. We advance it just far enough to convince the defense to get back and then we let Roscoe throw it at the basket, the cheerleaders or the Jumbotron if it pleases him and then sprint back to form the chain.

When the other team shoots, we maintain the chain and either wait for the ball to roll back close enough to the chain so that we can retrieve it or we let it roll out of bounds. The chain is preserved at all costs.

I want the announcers to wonder out loud if I were actually trying to ruin the game of basketball.

Here we go again another defensive minded purist. The only way to put butts in seats is to go for a high octane offense. That's why I think we should go for the human totem pole offense. Have Roscoe hold up Wolf and have Tyler hold up Deandre; think anyone else can catch a pass thrown at fourteen feet? They can just meander their way to the basket passing to each other(s) and finally drop the ball in.

 

[caw]

Here we go again another defensive minded purist. The only way to put butts in seats is to go for a high octane offense. That's why I think we should go for the human totem pole offense. Have Roscoe hold up Wolf and have Tyler hold up Deandre; think anyone else can catch a pass thrown at fourteen feet? They can just meander their way to the basket passing to each other(s) and finally drop the ball in.

I say do it, but with walk-ons, don't want to waste Roscoe and Tylers eligibility. Wolf and Bradley unfortunately may be needed. Basically just have cheerleaders be the walkons.

 

[Fishy]

An obvious flaw has been pointed out.

We will have to hypnotize a walk-on into believing that he is Roscoe Smith.

 

[ZenConn]

An obvious flaw has been pointed out.

We will have to hypnotize a walk-on into believing that he is Roscoe Smith.

We'll have to punch that walk-on in the eye before playing ...

 

[mets1090]

Maybe we should punch him in the eye over and over again until he forgets who he is. Then we can just convince him he is Roscoe.

 

[suzyq]

Only problem is we'd be wasting a year of Roscoe's eligibility. But if we have Roscoe just run onto the court in street clothes to perform his full-court heaves, we'd be assessed a technical foul on every possession but at least we could maintain his redshirt status.

Maybe if he actually wore a red shirt we'd be okay?

 

[August_West]

Yes, I like where we are going with this. Red rover human chain "d" with the totem pole offense.

This team would have to be coached by blaney. He can then refuse to call Timeouts when opponents solve our human chain defense.JC can take another medical hiatus for " personal" reasons, get the practice facility built and then come back for nc 4 in 13-14.


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[CL82]

Yet another Boneyard thread where I am laughing so loud people stop by to check to see if I'm okay.

 

[UCweCONN]

Yes, I like where we are going with this. Red rover human chain "d" with the totem pole offense.

This team would have to be coached by blaney. He can then refuse to call Timeouts when opponents solve our human chain defense.JC can take another medical hiatus for " personal" reasons, get the practice facility built and then come back for nc 4 in 13-14.


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I predict a rash of spinal stenosis surgeries for the unfortunate players that have to form the base of the offensive totem pole.