Major congrats to Britney & Glory Johnson (and a bit of surprise)

[easttexastrash]

I don't think it's appropriate to tell people shame on them when you have no idea what queer studies is and what queer even stands for now a days. Branch off from your past a little bit and educate yourself. Your entitled to your feelings, but so is everybody else. No one here or in the lgbtQ community is using the word offensively.

Anyway...I am telling all of you that just becuase the word is being used in academia and by some gay leaders to "reclaim" the word it is still offensive to many. Use it if you wish, but be careful because you may very likely offend a friend or family member. I am talking about the millions of gay people who don't participate in the world where the word has become so "chic" to use.

 

[easttexastrash]

They have been playing against each other for the last couple of years. Why would anything change now? and I am sure they have been seeing each other for a while.

Have you ever played doubles tennis against your partner? If not give it a shot and I bet you can answer that question for yourself.

 

[easttexastrash]

I don't use the word, but I do believe that if we were to detoxify these weaponized words, countless children will grow up without the pain that you have felt.

Boo

Or, others could respect the fact that it hurts you and not use it. Nah, that would make it too hard on everyone else.

 

[BooRadley]

Anyway...I am telling all of you that just becuase the word is being used in academia and by some gay leaders to "reclaim" the word it is still offensive to many. Use it if you wish, but be careful because you may very likely offend a friend or family member. I am talking about the millions of gay people who don't participate in the world where the word has become so "chic" to use.

This has absolutely nothing to do with 'chic'. This is about an attempt to end a culture of inflicting pain through words. Take their weapons away and maybe, just maybe our children won't suffer the word inflicted pain that you have felt.

Boo

 

[BooRadley]

Or, others could respect the fact that it hurts you and not use it. Nah, that would make it too hard on everyone else.

So, your answer is to leave the word weaponized and leave it's use to the fools and hateful. I can't see the end of pain in your choice.

Boo

 

[easttexastrash]

This has absolutely nothing to do with 'chic'. This is about an attempt to end a culture of inflicting pain through words. Take their weapons away and maybe, just maybe our children won't suffer the word inflicted pain that you have felt.

Boo

I want the word to remain as is so that when it is used I know why it is being used. The average straight person who uses the word in a negative way has no clue about "detoxification" or "reclamation." I don't want anyone to think that it is OK to say it, just like black people don't want whites to think they can use the word "" just because they heard it in a rap song.

 

[easttexastrash]

So, your answer is to leave the word weaponized and leave it's use to the fools and hateful. I can't see the end of pain in your choice.

Boo

Yes. I want it to be left for those who want to use it to spew hate so that I know who they are.

 

[Goodgood]

Have you ever played doubles tennis against your partner? If not give it a shot and I bet you can answer that question for yourself.

No, but I have played chess against her and believe me, she always tried to beat my brains out, and usually does.

 

[BooRadley]

Yes. I want it to be left for those who want to use it to spew hate so that I know who they are.

I'm sorry that you feel that way because if we are to continue on as you would like, future generations will have to negotiate a world of venomized words. The pain just continues on and on and on.

Boo

 

[easttexastrash]

I'm sorry that you feel that way because if we are to continue on as you would like, future generations will have to negotiate a world of venomized words. The pain just continues on and on and on.

Boo

When people stop using words as venom is when things change. We should be educating people not to use those words, not tell them that it is OK. Many people still use the word "re tarded" to describe mentally challenged people. No matter how much you may try to "reclaim" a word, it will still be hurtful to many and therefore should not be used. That is just my opinion. I am a fairly educated person and I have done volunteer work for local resource centers. However, no matter how long I live that word will be hurtful.

 

[easttexastrash]

No, but I have played chess against her and believe me, she always tried to beat my brains out, and usually does.

The next time she goes to make a move, slap her had to prevent her from making that move and report back.

 

[j66kicker]

And that will be very interesting. It will be interesting to see if it impacts how they play against each other. If Glory were to going in for a layup would BG not give her a hard foul due to their connection? It could definitely change the dynamics of their competitive nature.

At the dinner table after the game:

Glory: "So... did you really have to freakin' posterize me with that sick block when you guys were ahead by 24 with 2 minutes left?"

Brit: "Baby, that was no 'block'. That was an "In your face DISGRACE!"

 

[Goodgood]

The next time she goes to make a move, slap her had to prevent her from making that move and report back.

Good idea. might be a glimpse of things to come later..lol

 

[Icebear]

I want the word to remain as is so that when it is used I know why it is being used. The average straight person who uses the word in a negative way has no clue about "detoxification" or "reclamation." I don't want anyone to think that it is OK to say it, just like black people don't want whites to think they can use the word "" just because they heard it in a rap song.

Language and its use is never static. The approach you are suggesting simply means that everyone on the board including other gay and lesbian members now knows how to upset you and drive you off the board by using it. That is horrible power to hand over to someone. Boo's suggestion and the reason it is gaining usage among "the majority" today it exactly to deweaponize it as Boo suggests. Give the word no power. Wear a pink triangle proudly and deny it any threat which is exactly what two gay Brits did in the 1970s when they founded the Pink Triangle Audio company.

 

[easttexastrash]

Language and is never static. The approach you are suggesting simply means that everyone on the board including other gay and lesbian members now knows how to upset you and drive you off the board by using it. That is horrible power to hand over to someone. Boo's suggestion and the reason it is gaining usage among "the majority" today it exactly to deweaponize it as Boo suggests. Give the word no power. Wear a pink triangle proudly and deny it any threat.

Nah, it wouldn't drive me off the board...I would just block you and move on.

I don't know how to explain to you that you cannot just "decide" that a word is not upsetting. It just doesn't work that way in the real world. It is great in theory, I guess, and I applaud those who can accept a word that was used so horribly for so many years. I can't, and there are many like me who can't, regardless of how much someone tries to shove it down my throat (no pun intended).

 

[meyers7]

hey! who you callin' "old"?

Anybody close to my age.

 

[meyers7]

I don't know how to explain to you that you cannot just "decide" that a word is not upsetting.

Actually you can. In fact only you can. You control whether you allow words to hurt you. If you don't allow it, then those who would use it have no power to hurt you.

Words only have the power you give them. They are just a bunch of letters put together (in a certain order for that matter). They don't mean anything unless we give them meaning.

 

[BooRadley]

When people stop using words as venom is when things change. We should be educating people not to use those words, not tell them that it is OK. Many people still use the word "re tarded" to describe mentally challenged people. No matter how much you may try to "reclaim" a word, it will still be hurtful to many and therefore should not be used. That is just my opinion. I am a fairly educated person and I have done volunteer work for local resource centers. However, no matter how long I live that word will be hurtful.

I'm not suggesting that any of these words are OK to use to hurt people. What is being suggested is that it is our choice to continue on as we have been or to disarmed these words so that their use can't bring more pain.

Words have meanings that we give them; they can't be used as a tool to hurt people if we as a society don't accept those venomous definitions. Take away a word's accepted definition and you've taken away it's ability to hurt. Our language is mutable, it changes almost daily. I am arguing that we use that property of our language for something other than marketing, social media shorthand and scrabble. We can put that mutability to better use.

Obviously, which path we take is a personal and societal decision and I'm sorry that this word weapon has brought you pain but I'd prefer it losses it's venom so that future generations aren't hurt. I can see that we aren't going to agree, at least not now; I've said my piece, so I'll leave this topic to others for a while.

Boo

 

[Icebear]

Nah, it wouldn't drive me off the board...I would just block you and move on.

I don't know how to explain to you that you cannot just "decide" that a word is not upsetting. It just doesn't work that way in the real world. It is great in theory, I guess, and I applaud those who can accept a word that was used so horribly for so many years. I can't, and there are many like me who can't, regardless of how much someone tries to shove it down my throat (no pun intended).

I understand that it causes pain, but, yes, in the real world it can often work in just that way. It doesn't happen quickly but the more you claim a word for your own purposes the less power it has for others. There is extensive research in this.

And I agree with Boo that it would be completely wrong to use it that way or any form of intimidation but that just shows the power lies not in the word but in the intention behind its use.

 

[easttexastrash]

Actually you can. In fact only you can. You control whether you allow words to hurt you. If you don't allow it, then those who would use it have no power to hurt you.

Words only have the power you give them. They are just a bunch of letters put together (in a certain order for that matter). They don't mean anything unless we give them meaning.

LOL...OK...I have now decided to embrace the word. Wow, you are right...it was just that easy.

The next time some redneck in a bar calls me a "queer" I will stand up, put my hands on my hips, and say "you are right! I am a queer. Now, do you and your friends want to beat me up now or wait until I am walking to my car in the parking lot?"

 

[RadyLady]

LOL...OK...I have now decided to embrace the word. Wow, you are right...it was just that easy.

The next time some redneck in a bar calls me a "queer" I will stand up, put my hands on my hips, and say "you are right! I am a queer. Now, do you and your friends want to beat me up now or wait until I am walking to my car in the parking lot?"

or you can ask for trouble...


...why not just let it go? You are not going to change them.

Sometimes I just say the Serenity Prayer when someone does something that bugs me:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And WISDOM to know the different.

 

[alexrgct]

ad nau·se·am
ad ˈnôzēəm/
adverb
referring to something that has been done or repeated so often that it has become annoying or tiresome.
"the inherent risks of nuclear power have been debated ad nauseam"

 

[RadyLady]

Anybody close to my age.

really? I ain't lived no 900 years Methuselah!

 

[RadyLady]

ad nau·se·am
ad ˈnôzēəm/
adverb
referring to something that has been done or repeated so often that it has become annoying or tiresome.
"the inherent risks of nuclear power have been debated ad nauseam"

I tried something similar to that a few posts ago. Didn't work...maybe I was too subtle....I shall edit...



HEY!! How come I cannot edit a post I made yesterday? who changed the rules???

 

[trisailin]

Since this seems to have devolved to a "words have meaning" thread....
And since the topic of gay marriage is at it's core
What word do the pro gay marriage people propose for hetero s e x ual marriage (the one that ETT so eloquently referred to as "breeders")?
Hetero s e x ual marriage is fundamentally different - and ETT explained why.