Ladies At The “Big E”

[Argonaut]

John Cleese in one of the Monty Python reunion get togethers on Netflix has a very insightful comment on how the “modern“ world can’t even begin to solve major conflicts around the world, Syria to be specific to his comment, but can police language down to being offended by a single word. My mother, who raised 12 children on my fathers hard working single salary and then taught special needs children as a volunteer for 15 years after we all grew up, wore the title of “lady” with pride and as a show of respect, which is exactly how I thought the person who started the thread used the term. Just my opinion, but I find it sad someone chose to look on the use of the word in the context it was presented as an offensive term.

For the most part, calling someone a “lady” isn’t offensive — it’s outdated and, for the most part, has a history that we’ve culturally outgrown.

If you look up lady in the dictionary, the first two definitions revolve around behavior and class. Why are either relevant when you’re talking about your favorite basketball team? For a lot of women of a certain age, the emphasis was always on being ladylike. If my behavior doesn’t fall into that category, the message then becomes, “Who you naturally are is unacceptable.”

As a woman who isn’t of a certain age, I know I’m not “ladylike” and it’s not something I am or I aspire to be. And I know there are many other women who feel the same way.

Am I offended when a student I don’t know well refers to me as “the lady in the library”? No, because I know it’s about intent and context. But there are also four other women who have their offices in my library. Would it be more accurate if that student referred to me by name? Absolutely.

 

[Littlemin]

For the most part, calling someone a “lady” isn’t offensive — it’s outdated and, for the most part, has a history that we’ve culturally outgrown.

If you look up lady in the dictionary, the first two definitions revolve around behavior and class. Why are either relevant when you’re talking about your favorite basketball team? For a lot of women of a certain age, the emphasis was always on being ladylike. If my behavior doesn’t fall into that category, the message then becomes, “Who you naturally are is unacceptable.”

As a woman who isn’t of a certain age, I know I’m not “ladylike” and it’s not something I am or I aspire to be. And I know there are many other women who feel the same way.

Am I offended when a student I don’t know well refers to me as “the lady in the library”? No, because I know it’s about intent and context. But there are also four other women who have their offices in my library. Would it be more accurate if that student referred to me by name? Absolutely.

Everything should be about intent and context, and I hardly think the intent of the use of the word in the thread title had anything to do with dictionary definitions or to demean or belittle anyone. As for your not being or aspiring to be “ladylike” as you define the term, by all means that is your prerogative, I am passionately in favor of everyone being true to themselves. But IMO, anyone being offended by the word in the context used in the title says way more about them than it does the thread starter. My last word on the subject.

 

[Argonaut]

Everything should be about intent and context, and I hardly think the intent of the use of the word in the thread title had anything to do with dictionary definitions or to demean or belittle anyone. As for your not being or aspiring to be “ladylike” as you define the term, by all means that is your prerogative, I am passionately in favor of everyone being true to themselves. But IMO, anyone being offended by the word in the context used in the title says way more about them than it does the thread starter. My last word on the subject.

I don’t think anyone said they were offended by the term, but a couple of us women have said why we don’t think it’s the best wording to use and why. Nothing wrong with that.

I think we should celebrate the fact that there was actual conversation about it with no one getting into a pissing match. Sounds like a good day for the BY to me.

 

[TB12]

Wow I thought Argonaut was a man, boy, guy

 

[D J B]

Wow I thought Argonaut was a man, boy, guy

I think the word you are searching for is huminoid. It's gender non-specific.

 

[D J B]

I think the word you are searching for is huminoid. It's gender non-specific.

^humanoid. My bad. It's midnight. Friday. Vampires. You know what I mean. Right? Help me out here.

 

[Zarathustra]

GREAT STUFF!! Tremendous!! " mirabile visu " and wonderful to hear!
I love this music and the aphorisms / etc. of Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 -1900).
Nietzsche is a (often) misunderstood man. Strauss a powerful composer. THANKS Z

 

[Skeets]

The song "Don't touch this" goes through my mind when reading this thread...

 

[Vowelguy]

Context doesn’t matter. History does. For decades if not centuries, “girls” has been used to downplay and degrade women’s accomplishments.

 

[Blakeon18]

Vowel: If context does not matter then I assume you are [strongly?] opposed to the young women on the team describing their teammates in such fashion. Perhaps enough that as part of their media education by the staff [CD?] there should be a rule against the use?

 

[Vowelguy]

Vowel: If context does not matter then I assume you are [strongly?] opposed to the young women on the team describing their teammates in such fashion. Perhaps enough that as part of their media education by the staff [CD?] there should be a rule against the use?

Is it even remotely possible that word choices matter and that old white men might not be the best judges of what is and isn’t appropriate to csll women? Is that conceivable at all?

 

[RockyMTblue2]

Whaddaya think? Our ladies have been together for a whole month now. Do you think they have had enough time to form a tight bond? How long does it take for a team to bond?

Query: Has the Boneyard settled on the "appropriate" or acceptable word we can use to to refer to our team? i.e., girls, ladies or women?

Well, when Paige accepted the trophy for AP Player of the Year she addressed her team: "I know I love you guys and none of this would be possible without you guys and Coach...."

 

[Bigboote]

I think the word you are searching for is huminoid. It's gender non-specific.

This discussion took me back to the original Star Trek episode in which an alien referred to people as “carbon-based units.”

 

[Blakeon18]

Vowel: of course word choices matter...and certainly 'old white men' might not be the best judges.
I do not think I suggested otherwise. I just asked a question about 'context'...specifically if the speaker of the word choices made a difference. i.e old white men/young women players/etcetc. You indicated that 'context' did not matter.
I think it IS a factor on issues like this.

 

[AmeriConn]

Everything should be about intent and context, and I hardly think the intent of the use of the word in the thread title had anything to do with dictionary definitions or to demean or belittle anyone. As for your not being or aspiring to be “ladylike” as you define the term, by all means that is your prerogative, I am passionately in favor of everyone being true to themselves. But IMO, anyone being offended by the word in the context used in the title says way more about them than it does the thread starter. My last word on the subject.

Well said Littlemin!

 

[McFly]

Is there a line somewhere that must not be crossed? High school girl / college woman? I don't believe that it's unusual for women, irrespective of age, to refer to themselves and their contemporaries as girls. They can, but I can't? Sounds like a double standard to me.

I've never understood the propensity to find offense where none is intended. Why make life more difficult than it has to be?

 

[Argonaut]

I feel like some folks need to go back through the thread to see how we got onto the topic of language. No one said they were offended. No one said the term AmeriConn used was offensive. The conversation has come out of some genuine questions about what is the best way to refer to the team.

The only people who seem to be offended are the ones who disagree with those of us who are trying to answer those questions.

There’s nothing I love more on a Saturday morning than bunch of old men trying to mansplain why it shouldn’t matter what I’m called. I hope you’re less dismissive of the women in your real lives than you are of the ones you disagree with on the internet.

 

[MSGRET]

Why does everything have to end up being brought up as right or wrong. The ladies have addressed themselves as "girls, guys, pals, ladies, and others. Yet for some if you use the same you are slandered as being "old white guys" or other demeaning titles. Some might want to consider it as maybe a term of endearment towards the Huskies and NOTHING else.

 

[PacoSwede]

i do get in a huff when anyone refers to the team as the lady huskies ... that's downright disrespectful. but the OP title? what's the big deal? it's not the most informative, but the BY doesn't have editors to fix such things.

 

[Carnac]

As a general rule of thumb, if you're not part of their inner-circle and know it's okay, don't call any adult woman "girl."

It's perfectly acceptable for an adult male to call his daughters, granddaughters, or other close, younger relatives "my girls," but that comes with having that level of familiarity. Same thing when women call their close friends their "girls."

Same rules apply when being careful about calling adult males, "boy," which can give off the nasty impression that you're talking down to someone (and, historically, calling and adult "boy" has racist roots).

And @Puppy Love is right that "ladies" is antiquated and largely just alludes to a type of behavior expected of women.

Call them women, young women, the team, Huskies, or by their names...

For the most part, context is everything. If you say, "Man, I love these girls," it's pretty obvious that you're not trying to be condescending. But if you say, "Man, I love this team," you're getting the same message across, but you don't have to leave it to someone to interpret.

Got it, thanks Argonaut.

 

[phil sampieri]

Got it, thanks Argonaut.

Thank you for making me laugh with all your pompous holy than thou attempt to define what I mean by calling them my girls. It is important to me what that means and that is that. Please

 

[McFly]

Mansplaining (I looked it up), according to Wikipedia, is a pejorative term.
That's as far as I read, since I had to look up pejorative. Doesn't have many pleasant connotations.

 

[eebmg]

Mansplaining (I looked it up), according to Wikipedia, is a pejorative term.
That's as far as I read, since I had to look up pejorative. Doesn't have many pleasant connotations.

I thought it had to do with a razor.

 

[Biff]

Summary:

1) Members of the UConn Women's basketball Team were seen attending the Big E.