'Tis the season to revive a Holiday post of yore.
With apologies to both Virginia O'Hanlon and New York Sun editor Francis Pharcellus Church --
"Yes, Virginia, there is a Vol Villain"
Dear JS,
I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Vol Villain. Papa says, "If you see it on the Boneyard, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Vol Villain?
Virginia O'Hanlon
115 West Ninety-Fifth Street
_______________
Dear Virginia -
Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see.
They think that nothing can be which is not currently seen in Knoxville. All minds, Virginia, whether they be adults’ or children's, are little. But especially those of Vol Villain skeptics.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Vol Villain. She exists in the resentful hearts of living Vol fans who participated in the unmentionable events and in the equally despicable minds of those who echo their sentiments.
She exists as certainly as slanderous accusation and jealous disparagement and malicious mendacity exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its most gratifying moments of both revulsion and schadenfreude.
Alas! how dreary would be a Boneyard if there were no Vol Villain. It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no faith in orange evil then, no certainty of right versus wrong in the realm of WCBB endeavor, no enjoyment, except in sense and sight.
No Vol Villain! Thank God! she lives, and she lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, any woe that befalls her will continue to make glad the hearts of Husky faithful.
Enjoy the gifts of her stumbling and frustration at the Holidays to come and always.
JS, Christmas 2018