You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. OkForPrez, and I won't have it! Is that clear? You think you're merely instigating public dissension against conference realignment. That is not the case! The NCAA has taken billions of dollars out of this collegiate sports, and now they must put it back! It is ebb and flow, tidal gravity! It is ecological balance! You are an old man who thinks in terms of traditional rivalries and teams. There are no rivalies. There are no teams. There is no Syracuse. There are no Cameron Crazies. There are no mid-majors. There is no AAC. There is only one holistic system of systems, one vast and immane, interwoven, interacting, multivariate, multimedia dominion of dollars. NBA-dollars, ESPN-dollars, CBS-dollars, TBS-dollars, AAU-dollars, and Turkish League lira. It is the media conglomerate system of currency which determines the totality of life in college basketball. That is the natural order of things today. That is the atomic and subatomic and galactic structure of things today! And YOU have meddled with the primal forces of nature, and YOU... WILL... ATONE! Am I getting through to you, Mr. OkaForPrez? You get up on your little twenty-one inch screen and howl about the NCAA and what's fair. There is no NCAA . There is no fair. There is only ESPN, and CBS, and NBC, and TBS, TNT, the Tru Channel and SNY. Those are the nations of the world today. What do you think ESPN talks about in their board meetings, John Wooden? They get out their linear programming charts, statistical decision theories, minimax solutions, and compute the price-cost probabilities of their transactions and investments, just like we do. We no longer live in a world of teams and ideologies, Mr. OkaForPrez. The world is a college of corporations, inexorably determined by the immutable bylaws of business. The world of college sports is a business, Mr. OkaForPrez. It has been since John Calipari crawled out of the slime. And our children will live, Mr. OkaForPrez, to see that... perfect world... in which there are no poor OOC schedules or bad first-round matchups, power conference oppression or envy. One vast and ecumenical holding company, for whom all ADs, coaches and players will work to serve a common profit, in which all men involved in college athletics will hold a share of stock. All necessities provided, all anxieties tranquilized, all boredom amused. And I have chosen you, Mr. OkaForPrez, to preach this evangel.
