There is another way to go all in and miss. Even if a kid is not a D1 scholarship level athlete, they can still use sports to get recruited to an Ivy or an academically strong D3 school (Chicago, Williams, Amherst, etc.). Actually, the decision for these kids is more complicated. If you have a kid that will likely go to a solid state or private school then, even if they aren't a scholarship level athlete, it is probably still good for them to play sports. As you say, the pressure is off and it is nice to just do something for fun (*gasp*). But if you have a kid that is an exceptional student, even if they aren't a scholarship level athlete, they might still be good enough to get recruited to a top academic D3 school and use that as their "hook" to get in. But, if they miss, as you say, then they are probably screwed because they probably dedicated too much time to sports and couldn't spend enough time accomplishing something deemed worthy by the admin folks in some non-sports venue. There are no obvious answers in this parenting gig.