I, too, have been confused by the "who's recruiting me the hardest" and how that translates to leaders for each player. As fans, many try to read the tea leaves and read into whatever comments kids make to determine who is rising or falling on their lists. Usually it seems like those comments come from AAU sources, or bloggers, or others who had a quick interview or something with the kid.
I agree that the schools only have limited resources so it's possible that schools can't "recruit every kid they like the hardest"...