Buying your parents/in-laws’ house

[Dream Jobbed 2.0]

Does anyone have experience with this? Does it get messy? Is it smoother? Worth the closing cost savings?

My wife and I are looking to upsize while her parents are downsizing. Their house ticks all of our boxes and our jokes about moving in have become more serious.

They impulsively bought a condo in Ft Myers in January (completely screwing us on childcare but that’s a thread for another day).

While in FL they realized they enjoyed having a small living space and hated worrying about their pipes/driveway/sidewalks etc during CT winters.

I think it’s a good idea/great house and saves the battle we're sure to have in this crazy sellers market trying to get something.

My wife is not super into the ideal of moving into “the house she grew up in” but truth be told it’s been remodeled 3 times since she moved out and it’s an entirely different house.

Thoughts?

 

[uchusky32]

Low ball them.

 

[auror]

Seems like a no brainer if you can afford what they need to make on it.

 

[HooperScooper]

Makes the process of buying a house a lot easier. As long as the house fits what you want, which is the most important thing, then I don't see what the issue is. What are you worried about?

 

[8893]

Makes the process of buying a house a lot easier. As long as the house fits what you want, which is the most important thing, then I don't see what the issue is. What are you worried about?

The wife, I would think.

 

[HuskyFich]

Blows my mind how out of all the places in the world people can go, ppl choose to stay in the same box their whole life.

see if they will sell it to you on terms, let them be your bank and pay them monthly.

cash flow for them, not much up front capital for you

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

My wife is not super into the ideal of moving into “the house she grew up in”...

You've made a great case for why you like the idea, and that's an essential hurdle.

Yep, the grandparents unexpectedly upsetting the childcare is 100% something else. Keep it there.

What I've quoted above is also ESSENTIAL and nothing to downplay, belittle, ignore, OR (especially) attempt to settle by presenting the ticked-off boxes as though she'd be wrong to disagree...even if you really, truly believe that. From what you've written, this is your work.

And if you come to healthy agreement and proceed, do NOT offer to pour a bottle of hot sauce into your eyes if anything goes wrong during the purchase, moving in, or living there.

It CAN be done. 30+ years ago, I had a partial similar experience that had a serious hitch that did work out, but required our separate attorneys to work harder than they'd anticipated in order to get over the finish line.

 

[Dream Jobbed 2.0]

The wife, I would think.

Also need to consider the ancillary effects on the rest or the family dynamic. Wife is youngest of 3 girls. Middle sister already has her forever house (half a million dollar McMansion In Tolland). They’re best friends. Would be happy for us.

Older sister is a complete loose cannon. We avoid her/ her husband and feral children at all costs. They’re still in their “starter” home and I could foresee huge issues from them. They don’t outwardly have any interest in the house but I could see them coming out of the woodworks. Especially my brother in law. He is constantly seeking my wife’s parent’s approval while being a total ass to the rest of the family. Will say we’re using them and cutting them out of $10,000s of dollars.

 

[temery]

Wait until the shot clock expires.

 

[Dream Jobbed 2.0]

Wait until the shot clock expires.

Thanks coach Hurley

 

[husky8273]

do all the family heirlooms come with the house? that battle can create long lasting wounds among the sisters.

 

[XLCenterFan]

Wife and I considered buying the house I grew up in. Despite getting offered a GREAT price from my parents (they offered it to us for like $290K and ended up selling it for $375K) we ended up not buying for a few reasons. Ironically, we ended up buying a home on the same street (for less than $290K too).

• House was simply way too big for what we need/want (It's just the 2 of us + 2 cats)
• I have 2 younger brothers and didn't want any hard feelings
• Didn't want my parents feeling bad if the furnace went, or if anything costly came up
• Didn't want any hard feelings from parents or brothers if we took the great deal and then sold for profit, either in the short or long-term
• Didn't like the optics of looking like a spoiled little punk (we would have bought the house, but I'm sure people would have speculated it was given to us)

 

[John]

Also need to consider the ancillary effects on the rest or the family dynamic. Wife is youngest of 3 girls. Middle sister already has her forever house (half a million dollar McMansion In Tolland). They’re best friends. Would be happy for us.

Older sister is a complete loose cannon. We avoid her/ her husband and feral children at all costs. They’re still in their “starter” home and I could foresee huge issues from them. They don’t outwardly have any interest in the house but I could see them coming out of the woodworks. Especially my brother in law. He is constantly seeking my wife’s parent’s approval while being a total ass to the rest of the family. Will say we’re using them and cutting them out of $10,000s of dollars.

Saw this in my own extended family (sibling issues with purchase of family house). It got quite ugly. Tread lightly.

 

[XLCenterFan]

Saw this in my own extended family (sibling issues with purchase of family house). It got quite ugly. Tread lightly.

Also need to consider the ancillary effects on the rest or the family dynamic. Wife is youngest of 3 girls. Middle sister already has her forever house (half a million dollar McMansion In Tolland). They’re best friends. Would be happy for us.

Older sister is a complete loose cannon. We avoid her/ her husband and feral children at all costs. They’re still in their “starter” home and I could foresee huge issues from them. They don’t outwardly have any interest in the house but I could see them coming out of the woodworks. Especially my brother in law. He is constantly seeking my wife’s parent’s approval while being a total ass to the rest of the family. Will say we’re using them and cutting them out of $10,000s of dollars.

The main reason I didn't do it. Feelings, relationships, and family dynamics.

 

[NJHusky]

Does anyone have experience with this? Does it get messy? Is it smoother? Worth the closing cost savings?

My wife and I are looking to upsize while her parents are downsizing. Their house ticks all of our boxes and our jokes about moving in have become more serious.

They impulsively bought a condo in Ft Myers in January (completely screwing us on childcare but that’s a thread for another day).

While in FL they realized they enjoyed having a small living space and hated worrying about their pipes/driveway/sidewalks etc during CT winters.

I think it’s a good idea/great house and saves the battle we're sure to have in this crazy sellers market trying to get something.

My wife is not super into the ideal of moving into “the house she grew up in” but truth be told it’s been remodeled 3 times since she moved out and it’s an entirely different house.

Thoughts?

We bought my father-in-laws house a few years ago before the coved market. A good piece of advice from HIS lawyer was to still do an inspection so there were no hard feelings / issues after the fact. Good thing too because several hidden issues turned up that he fixed. Her siblings had no interest in the house so that was a non issue.

You can also gift some money if you want to minimize capital gains and adjust the price accordingly

 

[CTMike]

Buy low sell high.

 

[temery]

Does anyone have experience with this? Does it get messy? Is it smoother? Worth the closing cost savings?

My wife and I are looking to upsize while her parents are downsizing. Their house ticks all of our boxes and our jokes about moving in have become more serious.

They impulsively bought a condo in Ft Myers in January (completely screwing us on childcare but that’s a thread for another day).

While in FL they realized they enjoyed having a small living space and hated worrying about their pipes/driveway/sidewalks etc during CT winters.

I think it’s a good idea/great house and saves the battle we're sure to have in this crazy sellers market trying to get something.

My wife is not super into the ideal of moving into “the house she grew up in” but truth be told it’s been remodeled 3 times since she moved out and it’s an entirely different house.

Thoughts?

One thing to consider is you'll likely be asked to host them when they're in the area. Family reunions, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.

 

[the Q]

Also need to consider the ancillary effects on the rest or the family dynamic. Wife is youngest of 3 girls. Middle sister already has her forever house (half a million dollar McMansion In Tolland). They’re best friends. Would be happy for us.

Older sister is a complete loose cannon. We avoid her/ her husband and feral children at all costs. They’re still in their “starter” home and I could foresee huge issues from them. They don’t outwardly have any interest in the house but I could see them coming out of the woodworks. Especially my brother in law. He is constantly seeking my wife’s parent’s approval while being a total ass to the rest of the family. Will say we’re using them and cutting them out of $10,000s of dollars.

I think you gotta be upfront with the feral family or it will become an issue later. Even if they had no interest they would feel blindsided and convince themselves that they did.

 

[Dream Jobbed 2.0]

One thing to consider is you'll likely be asked to host them when they're in the area. Family reunions, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.

I think you missed the Tolland McMansion part

 

[temery]

I think you missed the Tolland McMansion part

I still think they'd want to be in their old house. My sister lived in my old house after everyone else moved out. Thanksgiving and Christmas was always there.

 

[CallMeBruce]

Low ball them.

Make sure to say this is all you can afford because of how much childcare costs now

 

[Deepster]

Small hi jack of the thread. Would you buy a beautiful 750k house for 350k (your max budgeted limit) but it’s only that low because there was a bloody murder and suicide in it a year prior?

 

[CTMike]

Small hi jack of the thread. Would you buy a beautiful 750k house for 350k (your max budgeted limit) but it’s only that low because there was a bloody murder and suicide in it a year prior?

Buy low sell high

 

[the Q]

I think you missed the Tolland McMansion part

They will if it wasn’t a new and very recent build....Tolland is a mess with the foundation stuff

 

[8893]

Small hi jack of the thread. Would you buy a beautiful 750k house for 350k (your max budgeted limit) but it’s only that low because there was a bloody murder and suicide in it a year prior?

No.