in jest and with apologies to W.S. Gilbert:
A more humane decision never
Did in the league exist,
To nobody second,
they’re certainly reckoned
Such true philanthropists.
It is the very humane endeavour
To make, to some extent,
Each evil liver
A running river
Of harmless merriment
The object all sublime
Which shall achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
All prosy dull society sinners,
Who chatter and bleat and bore,
Are sent to hear sermons
From mystical Germans
Who preach from ten till four. (Sorry Ice)
The coach basketball who then texts one and all
And sits chatting where she should not be
But Oh my the restriction!
Says she, no conviction just
mea culpas to all she can see
The object all sublime
Has not achieved this time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
The message seemingly sent
Such poorly represent
the rules with which this league was meant!
indeed the rules were bent!