Two GTown Tix Up for Grabs - FREE.99

[Silk31]

Being that I need to travel from NYC it's not looking good for my chances to make this game. I don't want these tix to go to waste and I want the XL to be as loud as possible.

Looking to give away my set of two tickets for in exchange for a laugh. Best response to make me laugh gets em for free.

 

[minidarren]

Kevin Ollie needs to be fired.

 

[mauconnfan]

We will go undefeated when Amida Brimah returns to the lineup and run away with the NC we miss him so much.

 

[vtmikeb]

"I've spent 2 years trying to find my wife's killer.
No one will do it."

 

[David 76]

Sarah Palin

 

[mjmoney23]

Syracuse is a modern day basketball powerhouse.

 

[Connecticut34]

Tyler olander had more titles than Jim boehiem

 

[DaveHuskiesFan]

Uconn is playing in the National Championship, and a fan makes his way to his seat right next to the court. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbour says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first UConn championship game we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.

 

[Drew]

PM'd you

 

[August_West]

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a New England Patriots fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Pats fans, too. Not really knowing what being a Pats fan meant, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, the students' hands flew into the air. There was, however, one exception. Lucas was not going along with the crowd. The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Patriots fan" he said. "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "I'm a Denver Broncos fan," boasts the little boy. The teacher asks Lucas why he is a Broncos fan. "Well, my dad and mom are Broncos fans, so I'm a Broncos fan, too" he responds. "That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" Lucas smiles and says, "Then I'd be a New England Patriots fan."

 

[4in16]

Rutgers Athletics, trying their best since 1869. Hanging their hat on their fencing national title since 1949.

 

[UConnJRod]

 

[UConnKev]

I'll go clean here.

A boy calls 911: Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning!

 

[1999.2004.2011]

Rutgers

 

[Deepster]

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his shorts. The bartender says "Hey, what's with the steering wheel?" and the pirate says....

Arrrrrrgh! It's drivin' me nuts!
:rimshot:

 

[UCweCONN]

Don't give them away for free. I'll gladly pay you for them with pocket lint.

 

[amory]

Three businessmen are out together, playing golf. They're on the 3rd fairway when they hear a ringing sound, and one of the businessmen extends his pinky and thumb, puts his thumb to his ear, and begins talking into his pinky. He has a conversation, then finishes up and hits his shot.

"Oh yeah it's great, I had a microchip put in my pinky and thumb so now when I get a phone call I can just talk into my hand to answer it."

The other two were pretty impressed. On the next fairway they hear another ringing sound and one of the other guys just says "Hello", has his conversation, and then says goodbye and hits his shot.

"I actually just had a chip implanted directly into my brain. I can answer phone calls just by saying hello. It's great."

The other two were very impressed with this technology as well. On the next fairway the third businessman excuses himself and walks into the woods.

Once he'd been gone about 20 minutes, the other two walked in to see what the hell was taking so long. They found him in a clearing, squatting with his pants down around his ankles. He looked up and said "Oh sorry guys, I'm just waiting for a fax."


(My dad told me that joke like 15 years ago when people still used fax machines, lol)

 

[KingOPancakes]

Three businessmen are out together, playing golf. They're on the 3rd fairway when they hear a ringing sound, and one of the businessmen extends his pinky and thumb, puts his thumb to his ear, and begins talking into his pinky. He has a conversation, then finishes up and hits his shot.

"Oh yeah it's great, I had a microchip put in my pinky and thumb so now when I get a phone call I can just talk into my hand to answer it."

The other two were pretty impressed. On the next fairway they hear another ringing sound and one of the other guys just says "Hello", has his conversation, and then says goodbye and hits his shot.

"I actually just had a chip implanted directly into my brain. I can answer phone calls just by saying hello. It's great."

The other two were very impressed with this technology as well. On the next fairway the third businessman excuses himself and walks into the woods.

Once he'd been gone about 20 minutes, the other two walked in to see what the hell was taking so long. They found him in a clearing, squatting with his pants down around his ankles. He looked up and said "Oh sorry guys, I'm just waiting for a fax."


(My dad told me that joke like 15 years ago when people still used fax machines, lol)

I still use a fax everyday unfortunately. And last time I heard that joke, the guy also had a roll of toilet paper crammed in an unsavory place at the end.

 

[KingOPancakes]

I still remember the last thing my Grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket... he said "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

 

[UCweCONN]

If you give them to me, I can arrange some free free-throw shooting lessons from Andre Drummond.

 

[Bezzz]

An old man is not feeling great, goes to his doctor for a check up and at the end his doctor says "I have bad news, you have cancer.......and you have alzheimers." The man smiles and replies "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"

 

[Dove]

@Silk31, when I was born, this is a true story, my teary-eyed mother cried, "Oh honey, he's such a treasure." To which my father replied..."So, we should bury it."

 

[KingOPancakes]

3 guys are ribbing each other while sitting at the bar one day. "You're such an idiot, you couldn't even count your change" The first says to the second. " I bet you're the dumbest guy on the planet".

"Oh yeah," #2 responds, "Guy number 3 never leaves that bar stool. He's the laziest guy in the world!".

"Hey!" shouted the third guy. "You know, #1... you're a real . I bet you're the most hated man on earth".

They head off to Guiness World Records Headquarters to get this settled once and for all. Guy number 2 walks out and says "Hey, I did it! Dumbest guy on the planet!". Guy number 3 holds up his certificate "Check it out! Laziest guy in the world!".

...out walks guy number one. Sad and dejected he says to the other 2, "who %*& is Eric Devendorf"?

 

[RayRay19]

I need one student ticket anyone selling?

 

[UCweCONN]

View attachment 11790

Should've called it "Former UCONN mascot Jonathan in the snow."