Aresco is the wrong man to lead this conference. I am also the wrong man, but he wants a million dollars to destroy it and I'm willing to do it for free. So....I get the job.
The name will be the Big American Metro Conference.
If we can work any other names in there, we will.
Hurricane Division
UConn
Temple
East Carolina
UCF
USF
Navy
Tornado Division
Cincinnati
Tulane
Tulsa
SMU
Houston
Memphis
Now, you ask, how can Tulane possibly be in the Tornado Division?
Well, because I like irony and hate Tulane.
Our hoop tournament will be at Marist College, or if there's a lot of demand for tickets, Albany. Both are really easy for me to get to and since I am running the show for free, we're going to try to make it convenient for me to attend.
Our football championship game will be held at the Rent if UConn is involved and will either be cancelled or held in Iceland if UConn is not. I kinda want to see Iceland and this might be a way for me to go and write it off.
Our conference meetings will be held at my house. No one is wearing boots on my wood floors so Houston, SMU and Tulsa will be forced to Skype in. Tulane and Memphis can email any questions or concerns that they may have - I would rather not be reminded that they exist and seeing them in person would cause me stress. I will vote for Temple, UCF, USF, and East Carolina which will save them plane fare. UConn and Cincy will have all their votes tallied as "this conference sucks" and are excused. Navy can come to the meetings, but only if they let me use one of their boats.
If one of you will stop by Providence and throw Aresco's s*** in the street, I will get down to the business of running this conference.
