OT: - Super Bowl food | The Boneyard

OT: Super Bowl food

August_West

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Hi my name is August_west and you may remember me from such annual classic Boneyard rants like:

“ thanksgiving is the worst food day of the year”

“ketchup is only for children “

“ only sociopaths think mayo and cold lobster is a better roll than hot and buttered”

“Arby’s is killing it”

Now I set my sights on Super Bowl Sunday . Where more bad food is served this side of Thanksgiving . Starting cooking at 9 am. No better time for my chicken wing rant!

And since wings are an actual mojo talisman here, it’s vital they are right.


Is there a better food example that started out so good on introduction 40 years ago, but has become so ubiquitous that pure mediocrity is not only now present but embraced? The plethora of bad chicken wings in this country is mind blowing and makes me real angry.

Because they are so simple to get right and make it an A+ eating experience. Why do people accept less?

Like everything else in life, it is simply attention to detail being the difference between dreck and killer.

let’s get it out there to the masses! You don’t have to settle for bad wings. I’ll lend my 40 years of frying experience to the cause ( my credentials include first being a cook and then manager at KFC in HS and college) … with my version of chicken wing 101: “attention to detail. I’ve been doing like this for decades and they are always peoples favorites anywhere I do them. (/humblebrag)

I want to help!

Right away let’s dispense with the idea that you can make these in an oven, grill, smoker, air fryer or anywhere else that doesn’t include bubbling oil! They may be cooked , theymay be good….. but for purposes of discussion it ain’t a “ chicken wing”!

Also let’s dispel the myth and hacks that they need the secret sprinkle of corn starch or baking soda or breading to be a perfectly crispy wing. They don’t , they just need an accurate thermometer and attention to detail. My wings don’t touch an outside influence until sauce ( or dry rub ) time . I’ve brined them before, don’t find it necessary.

so
1) fresh not frozen
2) dry the hell out of them before they touch oil.

That’s the prep. All of it.

Fry #1 ( pre cook)

1) oil 250 degrees ( use a thermometer!)
2) don’t over crowd
3) about 10-11 minutes or so at that temp
4) you are doing batches ( who makes just one batch of wings! ) make sure to let oil recover to 250 before next batch goes in !

After fry#1 batches are complete and drained , let ‘em cool . Hell they can even go in fridge if you are doing like I am today doing my precook at 9 am and finished product at 8 pm ish. Just make sure if they were stored in fridge , that you dry again ( condensation) before Fry#2.

Fry#2

1) I do use same oil as Fry#1. But I filter it through mesh and start with a fresh clean pot again
2) 385 degrees ( use a thermometer!)
3) wings in about 4 minutes or so. Watch them! because this fry#2 is about crispness and color, as these are mostly cooked through in fry#1. No worries in that end. You are now controlling crispness.

When they come out they are ready to eat! In fact if you are not eating these straight out of fryer ( after saucing / rubbing ) you are missing how sublime they can be. It’s when they are at their best. So that brings us to

Sauce/seasoning :

This is where I’m not a purist .
It doesn’t have to be Buffalo ( although it can and I love it) it can be anything. Because I just gave you the perfectly cooked vessel for carrying any flavor you can imagine or desire. My fiancées favorite is Garlic/pepper/Parmesan/butter.


The saucing/ rubbing is not about WHAT you put on it but HOW!

So you should be doing this within seconds of them being drained after fry.

Large bowl , wings , whatever sauce or rub you desire, mix uncovered . Uncovered is key. If you cover these up to shake them around you are also steaming the crispness out of them you worked so hard on doing the double low/high fry. That’s like putting a new haven pizza in a box and driving 30 minutes to eat at home. No bueno! You steamed out best part!

If it’s a sauce it’s just wings and sauce in that bowl for tossing . If it’s a dry rub I will add just enough hot frying oil ( or melted butter depending on rub flavor profile ) to get good rub adherence on tossing.

Next step? Eat until you pass out


Simple stuff. Just do it right!

Have a great super bowl Sunday.
 
Tl;dr

Step 1: Find a place nearby that makes them how you like them.

Step 2: Buy them and eat them.

No mess, no fuss.
Not as good.
 
.-.
All this food stuff comes just 1 month and 13 days after a ton of people made New Year's resolutions concerning drinking, gambling and of course, eating...if you see an unhealthy body in the mirror love yourself enough to make a few changes. I lost my best friend in 2019 because he didn't want to stop drinking/gambling/eating-he was 61.
 
Please. For starters they won’t have an abomination like garlic pepper parmesan butter.

Lemme guess, you have ranch on the side with those.
Garlic, pepper, parm and butter....whether separately or together, should NEVER be mocked....
 
Garlic, pepper, parm and butter....whether separately or together, should NEVER be mocked....
Meh, had them that way at Dew Drop Inn several years ago because waitress said they were one of their most popular, and their wings are among the best in the state. Didn’t think they were that interesting. I like spice.
 
Hi my name is August_west and you may remember me from such annual classic Boneyard rants like:

“ thanksgiving is the worst food day of the year”

“ketchup is only for children “

“ only sociopaths think mayo and cold lobster is a better roll than hot and buttered”

“Arby’s is killing it”

Now I set my sights on Super Bowl Sunday . Where more bad food is served this side of Thanksgiving . Starting cooking at 9 am. No better time for my chicken wing rant!

And since wings are an actual mojo talisman here, it’s vital they are right.


Is there a better food example that started out so good on introduction 40 years ago, but has become so ubiquitous that pure mediocrity is not only now present but embraced? The plethora of bad chicken wings in this country is mind blowing and makes me real angry.

Because they are so simple to get right and make it an A+ eating experience. Why do people accept less?

Like everything else in life, it is simply attention to detail being the difference between dreck and killer.

let’s get it out there to the masses! You don’t have to settle for bad wings. I’ll lend my 40 years of frying experience to the cause ( my credentials include first being a cook and then manager at KFC in HS and college) … with my version of chicken wing 101: “attention to detail. I’ve been doing like this for decades and they are always peoples favorites anywhere I do them. (/humblebrag)

I want to help!

Right away let’s dispense with the idea that you can make these in an oven, grill, smoker, air fryer or anywhere else that doesn’t include bubbling oil! They may be cooked , theymay be good….. but for purposes of discussion it ain’t a “ chicken wing”!

Also let’s dispel the myth and hacks that they need the secret sprinkle of corn starch or baking soda or breading to be a perfectly crispy wing. They don’t , they just need an accurate thermometer and attention to detail. My wings don’t touch an outside influence until sauce ( or dry rub ) time . I’ve brined them before, don’t find it necessary.

so
1) fresh not frozen
2) dry the hell out of them before they touch oil.

That’s the prep. All of it.

Fry #1 ( pre cook)

1) oil 250 degrees ( use a thermometer!)
2) don’t over crowd
3) about 10-11 minutes or so at that temp
4) you are doing batches ( who makes just one batch of wings! ) make sure to let oil recover to 250 before next batch goes in !

After fry#1 batches are complete and drained , let ‘em cool . Hell they can even go in fridge if you are doing like I am today doing my precook at 9 am and finished product at 8 pm ish. Just make sure if they were stored in fridge , that you dry again ( condensation) before Fry#2.

Fry#2

1) I do use same oil as Fry#1. But I filter it through mesh and start with a fresh clean pot again
2) 385 degrees ( use a thermometer!)
3) wings in about 4 minutes or so. Watch them! because this fry#2 is about crispness and color, as these are mostly cooked through in fry#1. No worries in that end. You are now controlling crispness.

When they come out they are ready to eat! In fact if you are not eating these straight out of fryer ( after saucing / rubbing ) you are missing how sublime they can be. It’s when they are at their best. So that brings us to

Sauce/seasoning :

This is where I’m not a purist .
It doesn’t have to be Buffalo ( although it can and I love it) it can be anything. Because I just gave you the perfectly cooked vessel for carrying any flavor you can imagine or desire. My fiancées favorite is Garlic/pepper/Parmesan/butter.


The saucing/ rubbing is not about WHAT you put on it but HOW!

So you should be doing this within seconds of them being drained after fry.

Large bowl , wings , whatever sauce or rub you desire, mix uncovered . Uncovered is key. If you cover these up to shake them around you are also steaming the crispness out of them you worked so hard on doing the double low/high fry. That’s like putting a new haven pizza in a box and driving 30 minutes to eat at home. No bueno! You steamed out best part!

If it’s a sauce it’s just wings and sauce in that bowl for tossing . If it’s a dry rub I will add just enough hot frying oil ( or melted butter depending on rub flavor profile ) to get good rub adherence on tossing.

Next step? Eat until you pass out


Simple stuff. Just do it right!

Have a great super bowl Sunday.
I have to give you credit for your dedication to cook but I ordered mine from J Thimothys. Wife still recovering from Covid and still has no appetite , so no guests not even family. . Sadly every damn wing is mine.

Oh thank God that Michael Jackson is not feeling well enough to ruin the half time show.

I am rooting for the Bengal Kittens ( and I hate cats) since the Giants have been DOA for decades.

Edit I forgot should it be Jameson or Woodford reserve?
 
It's just me and Mrs. Adrien today and after the game we won't be home til 5 PM, so I'm keeping it pretty simple:

We're making a layered dip (refried beans, guacamole, sour cream, salsa), homemade sweet potato french fries, burgers and assorted things to dip into the dip and leftover guac. Oh, and we’re frying some yellow plantains too.
 
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I make fantastic wings on the grill or pizza oven no need to use oil to get them crisp and they are still moist not dry. I usually marinate them overnight then before cooking let them sit out for half hour and like you say make sure they are dry to get that crispy skin. Pat them dry no need to cornstarch or any of that bs

Sauce I toss them in is a variation of traditional Buffalo… butter, Frank’s, couples dashes soy sauce and little tarragon. Not a true Buffalo but still has some heat and a very nice flavor
 
It's just me and Mrs. Adrien today and after the game we won't be home til 5 PM, so I'm keeping it pretty simple:

We're making a layered dip (refried beans, guacamole, sour cream, salsa), homemade sweet potato french fries, burgers and assorted things to dip into the dip and leftover guac.

That is shimple all right. Ha ha !
 
Meh, had them that way at Dew Drop Inn several years ago because waitress said they were one of their most popular, and their wings are among the best in the state. Didn’t think they were that interesting. I like spice.
Hot take: their wings aren't that good and their sides are better. And J. Timothy's has no flavor.
 
Hot take: their wings aren't that good and their sides are better. And J. Timothy's has no flavor.
I thought Dew Drop was good not great. Didn’t have anything other than wings there. On a par with Sliders I would say.

Only had J. Tim’s once and thought they were very good.

My taste in wings tends towards the more basic and traditional; I still think Archie Moore’s are the standard by which others are judged. Bidwell was transcendent once upon a time but dropped way off. Eli Cannon’s has vacillated between exceptional and ordinary. Same with Willi Brew.

Love Taino’s wings and they have been consistently excellent, but they are smoked so not as traditional.

Haven’t been to Archie Moore’s in years, but never had a bad wing there and always seemed to be consistent no matter which location.
 
I go the smoked route then finish them off under the broiler or on the grill. Use a proprietary blend of spices and a mix of homemade buffalo sauce (Crystal or Louisiana as a base) and BBQ sauce.

I am making two batches today, my traditional and a Roman Diavolo.
 
.-.
proprietary
sally kohn wow GIF by The Opposite of Hate
 
I prefer grilled wings.

marinade in italian dressing + a dash of soy sauce overnight. pat dry. throw them on the grill.

heat up a 1:1 ratio of butter and hot sauce in a sauce pan with a dash of soy sauce and some red pepper flakes and toss them in that when they're done.
 
While I have no doubt that the August method is superior. I am ok with good enough. Buy pre-seasoned wings (I like beer can) at Big Y. Wife bakes them as pre-cook. I then grill them on a copper sheet to get crispness. That’s the plan today as well. Guests seem to like them just fine.
 
Pimento wood is great. Actually made the decision to use pimento instead of a cherry/hickory mix today. First time doing wings with pimento.
 
.-.
While I have no doubt that the August method is superior. I am ok with good enough. Buy pre-seasoned wings (I like beer can) at Big Y. Wife bakes them as pre-cook. I then grill them on a copper sheet to get crispness. That’s the plan today as well. Guests seem to like them just fine.
And that’s fine. Accepting good enough for whatever reason you want is ok with me. I gave you key to best. In America 2022 I don’t expect more than settling for less. No one has to take the advice. I just am trying to make wings great again. I said my piece. And will stand by it in a blind taste over any alternative method. It’s what all you people buying “ the best wings” at top 10 wing restaraunts do. They do exactly what I said. The only difference between me and them is you eat mine fresh and theirs after sitting. Go figure.
 
Attention to detail matters. Why am I having to reiterate that to coffee king?
To start with, there's much more to coffee. There's simply so little to a chicken wing, I never really understood the fuss.

You may recall that early in our lifetimes, outside of the deep South, they were either used for stock or tossed in trash. They were an interesting novelty when buffalo wings were first introduced as they were dirt cheap like squid or short ribs at the time, but now they're no longer cheap, I don't understand the continuing love affair.
 
It's funny how things work like that. It was not many years ago when Hanger steaks were dirt cheap but now the price has gone up and they are regularly featured on menus. Not the same as a chicken wing since it may be the most underrated cut, but still funny how pricing works.
 
To start with, there's much more to coffee. There's simply so little to a chicken wing, I never really understood the fuss.

You may recall that early in our lifetimes, outside of the deep South, they were either used for stock or tossed in trash. They were an interesting novelty when buffalo wings were first introduced as they were dirt cheap like squid or short ribs at the time, but now they're no longer cheap, I don't understand the continuing love affair.
This is my point. You if anyone should get it. There is actually a way to cook things right, which is what launched these to the appetizer stratosphere in our lifetime in the 80s . You couldn’t give away chicken wings in 70’s. Wings were WAY cheaper than thighs and legs. Now wings cost 3x to 4x as legs and thighs yet people cooking them butcher them!

Brisket and flank steak were garbage meats too.
 
Agree with August, wings should always he fried. I have a little trouble rationalizing paying $28 for an order of wings now.
 
To start with, there's much more to coffee. There's simply so little to a chicken wing, I never really understood the fuss.

You may recall that early in our lifetimes, outside of the deep South, they were either used for stock or tossed in trash. They were an interesting novelty when buffalo wings were first introduced as they were dirt cheap like squid or short ribs at the time, but now they're no longer cheap, I don't understand the continuing love affair.
I suppose they are more versatile than beef on weck
 
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