We're going to try to time Dan's intervention to coincide with the night of the tip off game in Germany. We all meet after the game at Dan's house, where we expect to find him in the basement, wrapped in a UConn Snuggie, sipping cheap wine from a baby bottle, large hole nipple, and drag him into Frank Ivy's unmarked white van, where will beat him with stuffed Husky Dog animals until he regains some semblance of coherence.