OT - In other news, Sandusky arrested again!

[DaddyChoc]

the beat goes on

 

[UConnCat]

He couldn't make bail which was more than twice the bail set after his first arrest. He's now in jail. If he is able to post bail, his whereabouts will be monitored with an ankle device.

Preliminary hearing is next week. It's been reported that all 8 victims will testify, including victim #2 who was the boy seen by McQueary and whose identity was unknown to investigators/prosecutors at the time of the grand jury report.

 

[cardfan]

This likely resulted his terrible performance in the Bob Costas and NYT interviews. Why on earth would his lawyer allow him to do the interviews and be so ill prepared?

 

[meyers7]

Ok you guys can beat me up if you want. And I readily admit I don't have a victims point of view. I just can't get my head around how you keep going over to Sandusky's house for a sleepover. After being molested a couple times, to me, it would seem you say I don't want to go stay over there anymore. 16 times?

I can see if it was a relative or something, where the family is making you. Who was making these kids stay at his house. They couldn't have wanted to???? How could he entice them to stay over, watching a game can't be worth that?

I just don't get it??? Not putting any blame on the kids at all, just wondering how this could happen??

Maybe it was the money and gifts??? I just can't fathom that?

I guess in a way I am glad I don't understand. Too much sickness.

 

[Icebear]

Or the threats against your parents or personal safety.

 

[cardfan]

you're reasoning like an adult, not like a kid from a broken home who had very little. It's way more complicated than the boy simply not going back. The question is for the abuser (alleged), as to why didn't HE stop vs. asking a powerless victim to stop.

 

[meyers7]

you're reasoning like an adult, not like a kid from a broken home who had very little. It's way more complicated than the boy simply not going back. The question is for the abuser (alleged), as to why didn't HE stop vs. asking a powerless victim to stop.

Well we know why HE didn't stop, he was a sick sick individual (assuming he is guilty). And you are right I don't understand the reasoning of the child. That's why I asked.

Kids all time say they don't want to go somewhere or do something...because it sucks. Why wouldn't they say it was no fun? And if they did, who was making them go? What was the enticement or fear that would make them put up with that?

 

[meyers7]

Or the threats against your parents or personal safety.

Possibly, but once away from him, wouldn't the fight or flight take over and you try to stay away?

I'm asking here, I don't get it.

 

[HuskyNan]

Possibly, but once away from him, wouldn't the fight or flight take over and you try to stay away?

I'm asking here, I don't get it.

Abusers don't choose strong, confident victims. The abused, whether it's an abused wife or a sexually abused child, often feels guilty and confused. The abusers are essentially predators that prey on their victims' feelings of guilt and hopelessness and use those feelings to control their victims.

 

[meyers7]

Abusers don't choose strong, confident victims. The abused, whether it's an abused wife or a sexually abused child, often feels guilty and confused. The abusers are essentially predators that prey on their victims' feelings of guilt and hopelessness and use those feelings to control their victims.

I agree. And I can see with a wife or child with a relative. You may have no other place to go. This is your home, this is your father/uncle/husband. But when you actually have to accept an invitation to go over to the abusers house.....that's where I don't follow. Unless someone is telling/forcing you to go there. Heck, I remember my brother throwing a temper tantrum because he didn't want to go get his hair cut.

Thanks for the responses though. Might be something I can never get my head around???

I never could get the concept of falling into a cult either?? But then I am not very good with people telling me what to do or following anyone. (I don't even go to exercise classes at the gym cause I don't like people telling me what to do.) Probably why I come off on here so contrarian.

 

[JS]

you're reasoning like an adult.

True, and like a very specific adult with a specific development and background, including a support system and other circumstances sufficient to cause/enable him to become a self-described contrarian.

Meyers is putting his mind in a hypothetical kid's body and, not surprisingly, swearing to himself that if it were him he'd scream bloody murder before allowing himself even to be alone with Sandusky, let alone be touched.

He also, I believe, is coming from a place of revulsion at the physical acts. But the sexual orientation of pubescent or pre-pubescent kids is confused and vague. So it's more easily overridden by all the other factors in play here that put the predator in control.

Incidentally, one of the new complainants #s 9 and 10 says that he DID scream for help from the basement of Sandusky's home, and although Mrs. S. was upstairs, no help came. Guess she thought it was just horsing around.

 

[meyers7]

Meyers is putting his mind in a hypothetical kid's body and, not surprisingly, swearing to himself that if it were him he'd scream bloody murder before allowing himself even to be alone with Sandusky, let alone be touched.

I'm trying to grasp the mindset where one wouldn't do that. Or how does one get to a mindset where one wouldn't do that?

And I guess it's not the "allowing oneself to be alone with Sandusky", but somehow this was actually pursued. ( i.e. in the fact that they had to go to, or be brought to, Sandusky's house).

It would be interesting for me to talk to one of the victims to see if they would say about their mindset.

For a child in the case of a father or someone living with them, I can see where they might come to the conclusion I have to put up with rape in order to have a place to stay, sleep, food, not get beaten. But I'm not seeing the same thing here.

 

[HuskyNan]

I
It would be interesting for me to talk to one of the victims to see if they would say about their mindset.

No offense, meyers, but I don't believe I'd let you anywhere near one of the victims. Their feelings of guilt and self-loathing are most likely already overwhelming without being asked question their adult minds can grasp but their adolescent selves can't.

 

[UConnCat]

No offense, meyers, but I don't believe I'd let you anywhere near one of the victims. Their guilt and self-loathing is most likely already overwhelming without being asked question their adult minds can grasp but their adolescent selves can't.

I had exactly the same reaction Nan.

Meyers, there is plenty of information about sexual abuse in this country and it can be found easily on the internet. Organizations devoted to stopping child sexual abuse have websites and often have links to studies and research that includes profiles of victims and perpetrators. I would encourage you to do some reading on the subject. I think we could all benefit from educating ourselves on the subject as these crimes occur far too often. Here is one of many sites with a lot of information on the subject: www.d2l.org (Darkness to Light).

 

[Ozzie Nelson]

Meyers...thanks for your thoughts

as I see it, when you put your self in the shoes of victims, you cannot take your own feet.

 

[ddminct]

@BreakingNews - Court documents say former Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky posted his $250,000 bail - @NBCPhiladelphia

 

[meyers7]

No offense, meyers, but I don't believe I'd let you anywhere near one of the victims. Their feelings of guilt and self-loathing are most likely already overwhelming without being asked question their adult minds can grasp but their adolescent selves can't.

None taken, I wouldn't of course. But just interesting from a clinical point of view. Psychology and Sociology have always fascinated me. Why people do what they do.

 

[meyers7]

Meyers...thanks for your thoughts

as I see it, when you put your self in the shoes of victims, you cannot take your own feet.

Very well put.

 

[meyers7]

I had exactly the same reaction Nan.

Meyers, there is plenty of information about sexual abuse in this country and it can be found easily on the internet. Organizations devoted to stopping child sexual abuse have websites and often have links to studies and research that includes profiles of victims and perpetrators. I would encourage you to do some reading on the subject. I think we could all benefit from educating ourselves on the subject as these crimes occur far too often. Here is one of many sites with a lot of information on the subject: www.d2l.org (Darkness to Light).

Thanks Cat. Yea I will have to look into some of that. I don't imagine too many people have a good grasp of it, unless you have worked in that field for awhile. Heck the victims themselves may not have a good grasp of it.

 

[UConnCat]

Incidentally, one of the new complainants #s 9 and 10 says that he DID scream for help from the basement of Sandusky's home, and although Mrs. S. was upstairs, no help came. Guess she thought it was just horsing around.

Not surprisingly, given the allegations you mention, Mrs S. issued a statement yesterday:

"I have been shocked and dismayed by the allegations made against Jerry, particularly the most recent one that a now young man has said he was kept in our basement during visits and screamed for help as Jerry assaulted him while I was in our home and didn't respond to his cries for help," she wrote in the statement. "No child who ever visited our home was ever forced to stay in our basement and fed there. All the kids who visited us ate with us and our kids and other guests when they were at our home.

"Our children, our extended family and friends know how much Jerry and I love kids and have always tried to help and care for them. We would never do anything to hurt them. I am so sad anyone would make such a terrible accusation which is absolutely untrue. We don't know why these young men have made these false accusations, but we want everyone to know they are untrue."

The reaction of the wives of perpetrators is also very, very complicated as, fairly or not, the allegations say something about them.​

http://www.the-boneyard.com/threads/ot-in-other-news-sandusky-arrested-again.8597/page-2​

 

[meyers7]

The reaction of the wives of perpetrators is also very, very complicated as, fairly or not, the allegations say something about them.​

http://www.the-boneyard.com/threads/ot-in-other-news-sandusky-arrested-again.8597/page-2​

Well for her I am sure that is going to be particularly true. I am sure most people are going to think if all that happened in the house, how could she not be aware of it? And then how could she let it happen?

I think an even harder thing would be for his sons. When, if these allegations are true, they come to the realization of what their father did/is.

 

[JS]

Mrs S. issued a statement yesterday

The defense attorney in this case has been unusually amenable to media statements by his client(s). Just call him Amenable Amendola.

At least this is a controlled statement, unlike Jerry's two disastrous interviews.

Hard to see what they gain by this. Most defense attorneys would advise the client to shut the hell up and let the attorney do the talking.

 

[UConnCat]

Hard to see what they gain by this. Most defense attorneys would advise the client to shut the hell up and let the attorney do the talking.

At this week's preliminary hearing, Mr. Amendola was overheard chastising his client with the words "maybe now you'll listen to me" or words to that effect. Inasmuch as the exchange was within earshot of reporters and clearly for public consumption, I imagine Amendola's objective was to counter some of the criticism that's been directed his way and let the public know that Sandusky's disastrous media interviews were not his (Mr. Amendola's) idea.