OT: I duck*ing hate Chrysler/Dodge commercials

[Fishy]

I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. I hate them. I hate them more than I hate that John Calipari is about to win a national title. I hate them. I hate the people in them. I hate the people who wrote them. I even hate the people who thought this sort of s*** would make me want to buy one of their s***box cars.

They are cloying, obnoxious, overwrought, estrogen-addled piles of boiling garbage juice.

Memo to Chrysler - you would not be in this position if you had not spent the past 30 years making the most God-awful cars.

I don't know who this kind of commercial appeals to, but I would like to punch that person in the throat. This is duck*ing awful...

 

[CL82]

One day we should post the list of things that make Fishy want to punch someone in the throat. It would be long and entertaining.

 

[8893]

I was not a fan before, but that commercial just totally changed my mind. I need one of those trucks. It's the right thing to do.

 

[Prezidint]

The problem that U.S. car companies have had over the last 30 or so years is quite obvious - they make sh---y cars.

Unfortunately, the obvious correction for that problem - to make better cars, is not the approach that U.S. car makers have used.

Instead, they, as true Americans, attempt to continue to make a crappy product and try to stay in business by marketing better than the competition. This ad is one example.

Just make a better vehicle.

No amount of advertising could get me to buy a Ford. Owned two - horrible vehicles.

No amount of advertising is needed to get me to buy a Honda. Have owned one - fantastic vehicle.

The fact is, Americans are pretty dumb. You look at the gas-guzzling, money eating, oversized vehicles they drive, while they plunge ever-further into debt, and there can be no doubt that they're pretty dumb.

But. It appears that the U.S. auto makers are attempting to find out just how dumb, as this commercial shows.

Trouble finding work, "babe"? Ok. Start with this - buying a new vehicle is a horrible decision. It's dumb.

Where there's a truck there's a job?

That's the pitch? Spend money you don't have to buy a new truck that you don't need, and believe, even for a second, that it would somehow help you find work?

Whole new low target for "dumb" customer that they're shooting for there.

 

[Fishy]

They just ran another one that makes me want to punch the children of broken families.

Seriously, who the duck* thinks this will sell cars? If they didn't make me homicidal, they would depress the s*** out of me.

Does the "I just uprooted my family and tore the heart out of my children" demographic really buy Jeeps? Really?

I call this commercial, "Daddy caught Mommy blowing the pool guy, so we had to move to hovel in Grand Rapids, but at least we have a new Jeep"

 

[UConn Hoops1]

I think the suggestion about the list(complete with anecdotes,quotes,video etc.) made by CL82 is just what the 'Yard needs. I do have to insist that the Fishmeister has to include a minimum of 6 commentaries addressing his undying love for the NCAA. So let's get this baby rolling!

GO HUSKIES!!! THE NCAA BLOWS!!!

 

[Fishy]

Memo to Chrysler - you would not be in this position if you had not spent the past 30 years making the most God-awful cars.

I actually went back and thought about it...I have owned three Chrysler cars in my life.

In college, I had a used K-car. It was the cheapest model possible - it had no options at all, save A/C. I bought it for $500 from a lady who was dying of emphysema and couldn't drive anymore. It was a 1981 model that had 8,000 miles on it when I bought it in the early 90's. Serious piece of crap.

I parked it once at UConn and was walking away from it when some girl slid on a patch of ice in her car and just smashed into it at speed. She was bawling and offering to call her insurance company, etc. I felt so little for that car that I really did not care that someone crashed into it and had no intention of standing in a freezing parking lot discussing it. Just walked away.

One time, my brother and I accidentally set that car's engine on fire. Didn't seem to hurt it, though. Eventually, I gave it to someone I knew...a week later, it imploded on the New York State Thruway and stranded him for about five hours. Oopsies!

Then I owned a Jeep Cherokee Laredo. Big six-cylinder engine with a 5-speed manual. (Hand me down from my parents...my dad refused to buy automatics.) Good, reliable car - our family put well over 200,000 miles and then it was passed on again to one of my cousins. The 5-speed was rough - the lever throw was like an oar-stroke and the clutch was like a stair master. Stop and go traffic was like a trip to the gym.

When I got out of college, I ordered a Dodge Neon Sport, sight unseen. I was looking to buy a new car, cheap, and I read an article where Chrysler announced their new economy car - I went to a dealership and ordered one. I had been looking at a Chevy of some stripe - a Geo, maybe? Whatever it was, it was gonna cost $14,000....the Dodge, with nearly every option, was mine for $12,550. I ordered it then and there and five months later, I think I had the first one to roll into New York.

I put 255,000 miles on it and then gave it to my brother when he graduated BU.

That said, I hate those commercials.

 

[upstater]

255k is pretty good.

The only thing new about Chrysler so far is the Dodge Dart. That's supposed to be what they're hanging their hat on. We'll see. The old Dart's were basic and bare, but you couldn't kill them. I think that's why they went back to the well with the name. It's the only Dodge for which people seem to still have good memories.

 

[SubbaBub]

I actually went back and thought about it...I have owned three Chrysler cars in my life.

In college, I had a used K-car. It was the cheapest model possible - it had no options at all, save A/C. I bought it for $500 from a lady who was dying of emphysema and couldn't drive anymore. It was a 1981 model that had 8,000 miles on it when I bought it in the early 90's. Serious piece of crap.

I parked it once at UConn and was walking away from it when some girl slid on a patch of ice in her car and just smashed into it at speed. She was bawling and offering to call her insurance company, etc. I felt so little for that car that I really did not care that someone crashed into it and had no intention of standing in a freezing parking lot discussing it. Just walked away.

One time, my brother and I accidentally set that car's engine on fire. Didn't seem to hurt it, though. Eventually, I gave it to someone I knew...a week later, it imploded on the New York State Thruway and stranded him for about five hours. Oopsies!

Then I owned a Jeep Cherokee Laredo. Big six-cylinder engine with a 5-speed manual. (Hand me down from my parents...my dad refused to buy automatics.) Good, reliable car - our family put well over 200,000 miles and then it was passed on again to one of my cousins. The 5-speed was rough - the lever throw was like an oar-stroke and the clutch was like a stair master. Stop and go traffic was like a trip to the gym.

When I got out of college, I ordered a Dodge Neon Sport, sight unseen. I was looking to buy a new car, cheap, and I read an article where Chrysler announced their new economy car - I went to a dealership and ordered one. I had been looking at a Chevy of some stripe - a Geo, maybe? Whatever it was, it was gonna cost $14,000....the Dodge, with nearly every option, was mine for $12,550. I ordered it then and there and five months later, I think I had the first one to roll into New York.

I put 255,000 miles on it and then gave it to my brother when he graduated BU.

That said, I hate those commercials.

Nonscientific fact, based solely on personal experience:

Begining with the present, the lineage back through time of cars most likely to be at the front of a long line of backed up cars are:

Toyota Prius
Dodge Neon
Dodge Aries K
AMC Gremlin


Sent from my MB860 using Tapatalk

 

[Fishy]

I think you're discounting the presence that the old General Motors A-body models had in traffic jams.

The Chevy Celebrity/Buick Century/Olds Ciera-family was responsible for 92% of all traffic jams in the western hemisphere until the last one finally expired in the drive-thru window of a Dunkin Donuts in March of 2010.

 

[61cygni]

This ad campaign can't be knocked out with one punch to the throat

 

[joober jones]

99% of all commercials made in the past 15 years or so have been unbearably annoying. I especially hate the Nikon commercials with Ashton Kutcher and those "Play 60" PSAs

 

[CAHUSKY]

I basically do nothing but watch television yet, somehow, ive never seen one of those commercials. I get the sense that they get regular rotation on the lifetime network which is why Fishy has been bombarded with them.

 

[Kurt]

Hate this little egomaniac.

 

[uconndoit]

I hate to be the bad guy but...

 

[Prezidint]

They just ran another one that makes me want to punch the children of broken families.

Truly heinous.

"I have to share a bathroom with Ryan."
3rd world problem - "I have no food and I haven't had to go potty behind the mud hut in 3 days because my belly is empty."
1st world problem - "My dad got downsized so now I have to share a bathroom with my brother. Can you imagine?"

Next funny line:
"My mother says the bus is a good place to make friends."
When I was growing up, the bus was a GD war zone. I'd just try to get to school without being attacked.

 

[Prezidint]

(Hand me down from my parents...my dad refused to buy automatics.)

Good man.

a Geo, maybe? Whatever it was, it was gonna cost $14,000....the Dodge, with nearly every option, was mine for $12,550.

Drove off the lot in a Geo Metro for about 8 grand. Awesome car, and where else could you get the dream-like feeling that you are blowing down the highway at 70 MPH on a flying throw pillow.
That was a 3 cylinder. There was so much room in the engine compartment that I was able to change the timing belt in 25 minutes - the first time doing it. The spring tensioner for the timing belt could be retracted by hand.
Car of the near future, with gas going past 4 on its way to 10. Haven't I been a good boy and not mentioned the O word?

 

[ffg53]

Good man.

Drove off the lot in a Geo Metro for about 8 grand. Awesome car, and where else could you get the dream-like feeling that you are blowing down the highway at 70 MPH on a flying throw pillow.
That was a 3 cylinder. There was so much room in the engine compartment that I was able to change the timing belt in 25 minutes - the first time doing it. The spring tensioner for the timing belt could be retracted by hand.
Car of the near future, with gas going past 4 on its way to 10. Haven't I been a good boy and not mentioned the O word?

I had a Geo Metro, too. I loved that car, except the fact that it couldn't go faster than 45mph up a moderate incline. I used to get 50+ miles to the gallon and be able to make it from Charleston to Orlando without stopping for gas.

The worst car I ever had was a Dodge Omni. Chipmunks could have built a better car than that. It was the first year of Chrysler's 5-year/50k mile warranty roll-out. And they tried to get out of it after the clutch fried with less than 5,000 miles on it.

 

[Hugo]

255k is pretty good.

The only thing new about Chrysler so far is the Dodge Dart. That's supposed to be what they're hanging their hat on. We'll see. The old Dart's were basic and bare, but you couldn't kill them. I think that's why they went back to the well with the name. It's the only Dodge for which people seem to still have good memories.

I owned 2 Dodge Darts way back when and the last 1 I kept for about 12 years with well over 150K mles on it and then sold it to a guy I worked with for 20% of the original purchase price. He kept it on the road for another 3 years and probably another 35k miles. You're right the old slant-six engines lasted forever. But once they stopped that line, I never bought Chrysler/Dodge again.

 

[UConnDan97]

I hate to be the bad guy but...

I am about as big a "homer" as anyone you will see, but when I had first seen this commercial come out for UConn, I swear to Jesus that I almost burned my diploma...

 

[District-Husky]

Okay - I owned a 1969 Camero. Bought it in 1986. Had the original engine. I sold it in 1994 and it had well over 200k on it. Thing ran great - except it burned oil like crazy and, after leaded gas ceased to exist, I had to use a leaded additive every time I filled up. That's the only american car I have ever owned.

 

[SoCalCanine]

255k is pretty good.

The only thing new about Chrysler so far is the Dodge Dart. That's supposed to be what they're hanging their hat on. We'll see. The old Dart's were basic and bare, but you couldn't kill them. I think that's why they went back to the well with the name. It's the only Dodge for which people seem to still have good memories.

My daily driver out here in CA is a 1965 aqua blue Dodge Dart!!! I love it!!!! The Dodge slant-six engine is the height of Western Civilization!!! Well, maybe a little hyperbole, but its a damn good engine!!!

 

[Northbound]

I just got rid of my '77 power wagon, 318, it's now in the netherlands. That thing was a beast. I've not had a late model Dodge, but I'd get an old Power Wagon again in a second.

I have no issues with domestic cars.....I've had great luck with Chevy and Ford SUV's and trucks, my cars are all european, but that's because there is nothing stylistically that I like that is American.

 

[GavinEdreamy]

I hate to be the bad guy but...

Until now, I generally enjoyed your posts and presence on the board. Now I hate you.

 

[uconndoit]

Until now, I generally enjoyed your posts and presence on the board. Now I hate you.

I hate me too.