So I was right. She was Frau Blucher without the marvelous accent (I preferred her in The Last Picture Show though). Anyway, don't feed puppy for 4 hours before class and bring plenty of treats from this approved list (3 are her's and available for sale before puppy class). The class was 5 pups, with 6 being the max. 2 of my dog's litter mates were there. First our 5 were released of lead into an outdoor wrestling pit to see who would survive! The owner of the most timid pup was allowed in to rescue her pup if things got to rough. Luckily she was an young, athletic lass who was able to scoop up her pup just as a puppy on steroids, actually a brother to my girl, pinned the hapless animal and rose to get full bite size before swooping in for the death grip!
Frau Blucher intoned that my pup needed a new play mate and should never play again with her sister (my daughter's pup and only slightly less crazed than steroid pup.) For a fleeting moment I was in love with Frau Blucher; what wisdom, how perceptive.
Then we all went inside for the people lessons to begin. The first exercise, with plenty of treats in hand, was to induce you pup to walk up on a 3 foot disk on the floor and your lap, intentionally wobbly, then a small milk crate (ah, gone are the circus elephants but the look is the same), then a taller, bigger milk crate, then an agility teeter tooter, then a broken field running agility stepper. Treats were flying out of treat pouches and pockets faster than a Pez dispenser in the hands of a sugar addict. My wife had apparently signed my pup up for some sporting dog agility . I quietly slipped out the door, slipped the keys in the ignition and went a few hundred yards to a gas station with a frappacino machine, since I was in desperate need of something sweet yet stimulating. On the way home, in a very quiet car, we signed a pact of mutual self-destruction and stopped at Burger King for large fries, whopper, and she did the chocolate milk and I did the Mayor Bloomberg Memorial Pepsi!
I've had 11 dogs, 5 of them my pup's apparently dominant breed - German Shepards, 3 trained to threat level, 1 to attack. She went to class knowing how to sit next to you, walk with you without verbal command, has almost gotten the down command down, will shake your hand ... and I get Ms. Blucher with a 37 card deck!
Now serious question: Who's Doggie DNA testing is the best? Gotta figure out the father. Different breeds have markers as I'm sure you all know for various disease propensities.
