OT: Gifts for people you dislike | The Boneyard

OT: Gifts for people you dislike

beakumhawks

beakumhawks

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At some point we are all forced to give gifts to people we do not care for. It might be an office Christmas exchange or a spousal demand or you might just be damn tired of coworkers emptying your candy dish. Inspired by the Red Lobster thread and food items that destroy your innards, might I suggest these gummy bears hatched from the seventh layer of Hell: The Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears. Read the following Amazon review

Amazon.com: Customer reviews: Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears, 1 Lb

These reviews are not exaggerations. These sweet tasting spawns of the Devil himself will exact painful revenge on your most hated rivals. Here is one Amazon review, short and to the point

help me

Think these folks are kidding? I assure you they are not. I got some of these when my kids were toddlers, and one day I heard my two year old at the top of stairs crying "daddy... help me.....". I look up to see a child with a full diaper sagging down to his ankle and a look of pure terror on his face. "Did you get into Daddy's gummy bears?" I asked him. "Maybe" was all he could squeak out before the explosion started again. Put some of these evil tasty treats in your candy bowl at work and sit back and watch your coworkers fight over the bathroom stall. Just don't dip in and try any yourself.
 
.-.
KO to coach your basketball team? Too soon? Seriously, though, I am well versed in the gummy bear reviews. They are hilarious. But is it totally sadistic that I want to try them? Has anyone tried one of these diarrhea balls?
 
boog204 said:
KO to coach your basketball team? Too soon? Seriously, though, I am well versed in the gummy bear reviews. They are hilarious. But is it totally sadistic that I want to try them? Has anyone tried one of these diarrhea balls?
Expand ...

I think it's one of those things where it affects you or it doesn't. Like those fat free doritos with Olean a number of years ago. Never bothered me in the slightest, but some of my friends were on the sh itter within hours.
 
Recorders, kazoos. Great ideas.

I'd throw in a power water balloon machine. As a dad I friggin' hate picking up shards of water balloons knowing they were from six month ago.

Those white snaps that you throw on the ground (or other kids). Those suck to clean up too.

Basically anything that caused repetitive work for parents weeks/months after a party/event.
 
.-.
I cannot believe Chia Pets were not mentioned. They come in a variety now,so the sting might be less.
 
beakumhawks said:
At some point we are all forced to give gifts to people we do not care for. It might be an office Christmas exchange or a spousal demand or you might just be damn tired of coworkers emptying your candy dish. Inspired by the Red Lobster thread and food items that destroy your innards, might I suggest these gummy bears hatched from the seventh layer of Hell: The Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears. Read the following Amazon review

Amazon.com: Customer reviews: Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears, 1 Lb

These reviews are not exaggerations. These sweet tasting spawns of the Devil himself will exact painful revenge on your most hated rivals. Here is one Amazon review, short and to the point

help me

Think these folks are kidding? I assure you they are not. I got some of these when my kids were toddlers, and one day I heard my two year old at the top of stairs crying "daddy... help me.....". I look up to see a child with a full diaper sagging down to his ankle and a look of pure terror on his face. "Did you get into Daddy's gummy bears?" I asked him. "Maybe" was all he could squeak out before the explosion started again. Put some of these evil tasty treats in your candy bowl at work and sit back and watch your coworkers fight over the bathroom stall. Just don't dip in and try any yourself.
Expand ...
I feel like you posted the Haribo comments here like 10 - 12 years ago. I remember reading them then, and once or twice since, and literally shedding a tear or two I laughed so hard.
 
Jack Daniels Old No. 7. Blech. Also...Rolling Rock.
 
Way to regurgitate a gag that's 5 years old, beakum. Glad to see senility has finally taken full root.
 
.-.
My default is a small potted cactus. Because all catci do is collect dust. And you can't dust them.

Unless I learn that the intended recipient is a bloviating foodie. Then they get the cheapest Olive Garden gift card available.
 
Magazine subscriptions to mags you know they won't read but 'you thought they would'. But get the promotional free ones (multiple).
 
storrsroars said:
My default is a small potted cactus. Because all catci do is collect dust. And you can't dust them.

Unless I learn that the intended recipient is a bloviating foodie. Then they get the cheapest Olive Garden gift card available.
Expand ...

Amateur.

Falcon_DPSJMB_Dust_Off_Jumbo_272739.jpg
 
An "Olliewood" t-shirt

Or maybe an Aaron Hernandez replica Jersey (I know my daughter still owns a never worn one, timing is everything)
 
.-.
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