OT: Bought a new condo with my fiancee

[intlzncster]

http://the-boneyard.com/threads/ot-apartment-advice.80560/#post-1415425

Wow. I've been asking the wrong questions on the first date I guess

 

[8893]

Wow. I've been asking the wrong questions on the first date I guess

In fairness to the OP (of that particular notion), I did happen across some news articles on the subject soon thereafter with data that seemed to reinforce his premise:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2015...ife-idUSKCN0SD20P20151019#lzFKvlcSER6o5K6T.97

 

[BigErnMcCracken]

At the same time, I watch my guy friends who are still dating and think I'm glad I don't have to sift through the morass that is single women when you're almost 30.

"Almost 30"?! Man, you did it wrong.

 

[superjohn]

Some guys want morass, some guys want to get married.

That was good, well done!

 

[Rocktheworld]

At the same time, I watch my guy friends who are still dating and think I'm glad I don't have to sift through the morass that is single women when you're almost 30.

That's why you date younger women. No shortage of single 24-26 year old chicks.

 

[UCHuskies08]

Got a picture of the back today

 

[intlzncster]

Got a picture of the back today

That thing is awesome. Really is. If you ever move, you are taking it with you.

Unless UCONN wins a couple more NCs. Then you have to leave it by default. Mojo.

 

[scrappy2.0]

I knew it was the one when we walked into the basement and there was a slate top pool table with this lamp hanging above it:

Con graulations!!

 

[Fishy]

I knew it was the one when we walked into the basement and there was a slate top pool table with this lamp hanging above it....

Old logo.

Keep looking.

 

[jojipoji]

That's why you date younger women. No shortage of single 24-26 year old chicks.

Lol. Reminds me of my favorite movie quote:
"That's why I love these high school chicks, man. I get older, they stay the same age"

 

[Ewekon]

Almost 30 year old guy talks to his wise old dad. He says, "Dad, I found the one I'm going to marry. I love her." Dad replies, "Son, why don't you just find a woman you hate and buy her a house?"

 

[BoatShow]

Great line from the show Master of None that I don't remember exactly so I'll paraphrase "So just because you're the person I happen to be dating at the point in my life when people typically get married that means your the person I'm going to spend the rest of your life with?"

Changed my way of thinking bro. But in all seriousness congrats on that sweet light.

 

[UCHuskies08]

Great line from the show Master of None that I don't remember exactly so I'll paraphrase "So just because you're the person I happen to be dating at the point in my life when people typically get married that means your the person I'm going to spend the rest of your life with?"

Changed my way of thinking bro. But in all seriousness congrats on that sweet light.

Trust me, the decision was not one taken lightly by me. We've been together for a very long time, we had a break period a couple years ago, for about over year, where I spent a long time thinking about what I wanted in life completely independent of my relationship with her, and whether I wanted to be a parent, whether I should try to find someone to be with who doesn't want kids, whether I should just stay single my entire life. I could do all three and be happy.

But there were ultimately a few factors that pushed me in this direction. First, living alone, as I have for a number of years now, I just do not live a healthy lifestyle. If I do this my whole life, I will not be a healthy old person. Second, the thing that brought me around on accepting the loss of free time from having kids is that the alternative makes it a good chance that you will be a very lonely old person. Third, I got to have a "breath of fresh air" so to speak during our break, and the modern dating world may work for some, but it's not a world I want to occupy for an extended period of time anymore.

Doesn't mean I won't miss the free time, all of my money, and freedom to do whatever I wish at any moment. I will.

 

[Hoophound]

Trust me, the decision was not one taken lightly by me. We've been together for a very long time, we had a break period a couple years ago, for about over year, where I spent a long time thinking about what I wanted in life completely independent of my relationship with her, and whether I wanted to be a parent, whether I should try to find someone to be with who doesn't want kids, whether I should just stay single my entire life. I could do all three and be happy. But there were ultimately a few factors that pushed me in this direction. First, living alone, as I have for a number of years now, I just do not live a healthy lifestyle. If I do this my whole life, I will not be a healthy old person. Second, the thing that brought me around on accepting the loss of free time from having kids is that the alternative makes it a good chance that you will be a very lonely old person. Third, I got to have a "breath of fresh air" so to speak during our break, and the modern dating world may work for some, but it's not a world I want to occupy for an extended period of time anymore. Doesn't mean I won't miss the free time, all of my money, and freedom to do whatever I wish at any moment. I will.

My only concern with your whole analysis is that you gave 3 reasons why you got back together with her and bought a condo and none of them were, "I just couldn't live without her". Let me tell you something about spending your life with one person, it is a battle. The only way it will last is if you realize no matter how bad it gets, she is just friendly fire and you are not enemies. That means you do anything for her because she is now your family, for better or worse. If you can't go there, don't marry her.

I love to bring this up once a year or so, usually around the holidays. There was a poster that always referred to his wife as his "bride". I was going through a rough time in my marriage and I kept seeing this guy refer to his bride in telling his stories. It struck me how romantic that was. There is something special about that. I thought about the feeling I had thinking of my wife as my bride gave me. It was always positive, full of optimism and brought a smile to my face. I used that thought to pull us back together. We put wedding photos all around the house and as we had kids, their photos started to surround our photos. On our 10th anniversary she put on her wedding dress and we said new vows, it was a great boost to the marriage. We'll do it again at 20 years. 13 years together, most of which are courtesy of The Boneyard.

Just yesterday I told her that she is a pain in the butt, but I have learned to smile at her quirks rather than get angry about them. I guess my point, as we enter the holiday season is, don't think of your partner as a convenience or a lesser of two evils, think of her as a gift. She'll be much more appealing to you and you'll take much better care of her. When you do, the relationship will give back many times over.

 

[UCHuskies08]

Well, as I said in my post, that was my analysis of the situation, completely independent of my relationship with her

 

[Hoophound]

Well, as I said in my post, that was my analysis of the situation, completely independent of my relationship with her

I know. I just can't help but think you are being practical. I was being practical and then I realized I was approaching it all wrong. Just throwing something out there that was valuable to me and hoping it helps someone else on the board.

 

[intlzncster]

Trust me, the decision was not one taken lightly by me. We've been together for a very long time, we had a break period a couple years ago, for about over year, where I spent a long time thinking about what I wanted in life completely independent of my relationship with her, and whether I wanted to be a parent, whether I should try to find someone to be with who doesn't want kids, whether I should just stay single my entire life. I could do all three and be happy.

But there were ultimately a few factors that pushed me in this direction. First, living alone, as I have for a number of years now, I just do not live a healthy lifestyle. If I do this my whole life, I will not be a healthy old person. Second, the thing that brought me around on accepting the loss of free time from having kids is that the alternative makes it a good chance that you will be a very lonely old person. Third, I got to have a "breath of fresh air" so to speak during our break, and the modern dating world may work for some, but it's not a world I want to occupy for an extended period of time anymore.

Doesn't mean I won't miss the free time, all of my money, and freedom to do whatever I wish at any moment. I will.

Eh, we're just giving you a hard time. When everyone is ignoring the subject, that's when you want to worry.

 

[IMind]

Well, as I said in my post, that was my analysis of the situation, completely independent of my relationship with her

I wouldn't worry to much about justifying things to this lot.... I mean consider the quality of the basketball posts on here.

 

[CL82]

But there were ultimately a few factors that pushed me in this direction. First, living alone, as I have for a number of years now, I just do not live a healthy lifestyle. If I do this my whole life, I will not be a healthy old person. Second, the thing that brought me around on accepting the loss of free time from having kids is that the alternative makes it a good chance that you will be a very lonely old person. Third, I got to have a "breath of fresh air" so to speak during our break, and the modern dating world may work for some, but it's not a world I want to occupy for an extended period of time anymore.

Mmm, maybe don't write your own vows...

[Insert name here] when I look at you I realize that getting drunk and eating wings every night probably wasn't healthy for me. Marrying you is better than dying alone, I guess. Plus when we were apart, I had to work to hard to get laid. Sure they were young, different and exciting, but I guess I'd trade that for a sure thing... wait where are you going?

 

[intlzncster]

b

I wouldn't worry to much about justifying things to this lot.... I mean consider the quality of the basketball posts on here.

better yet, head over to the cesspool.

 

[Taco]

Free advice is often overpriced.

 

[Huskybass]

Mmm, maybe don't write your own vows...

[Insert name here] when I look at you I realize that getting drunk and eating wings every night probably wasn't healthy for me. Marrying you is better than dying alone, I guess. Plus when we were apart, I had to work to hard to get laid. Sure they were young, different and exciting, but I guess I'd trade that for a sure thing... wait where are you going?

Top 5 all time boneyard post. Gold, Jerry. Pure gold.

 

[Fishy]

We're giving marriage advice now? After twenty years, this board can't decide which pizza is the best or assemble one coherent post about the game of basketball. We have more people who go on imaginary dinner dates with Andre Drummond than people who are qualified to give relationship advice.

The kid is getting married and buying a condo. While some of you seem disappointed at the less-than-Harlequin level of effusiveness he's shown in his public rationale, he's probably put some thought into it. Good enough.

And if it doesn't work out, one of you can buy the sign at the divorce dispersal sale.

 

[CL82]

We're giving marriage advice now? After twenty years, this board can't decide which pizza is the best or assemble one coherent post about the game of basketball. We have more people who go on imaginary dinner dates with Andre Drummond than people who are qualified to give relationship advice.

The kid is getting married and buying a condo. While some of you seem disappointed at the less-than-Harlequin level of effusiveness he's shown in his public rationale, he's probably put some thought into it. Good enough.

And if it doesn't work out, one of you can buy the sign at the divorce dispersal sale.

Geesh, what happened to you? There were easily 2-3 pages left in this thread and the old Fishy would have been leading the charge.

Here, just fill it out yourself.

 

[UCHuskies08]

I know. I just can't help but think you are being practical. I was being practical and then I realized I was approaching it all wrong. Just throwing something out there that was valuable to me and hoping it helps someone else on the board.

No, as Fishy pointed out, I'm not going to wax poetic about all the reasons why I love my fiancee here on the Boneyard, lol. I was addressing it from the typical qualms men of our generation have when thinking about marriage, and that I did as well. This is a forum full of dudes, after all.

Obviously if you aren't totally in love with the girl, why would it even be a question in the first place? I've never felt any pressure to get married so the idea of settling for marriage, or marrying someone because it's "convenient"... I don't see anything convenient about being in a marriage you don't want to be in.