Massively Off Topic - Bidets

[RuffRuff]

Who’s got one? Basic or enhanced? Who’s used one but can’t do it? Who’s gone to one and now can’t live without?

Maybe you went to Europe and felt that much hygienically refreshed and now are a lifelong bidet-er. Let’s hear it.

I personally love them.

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

And I made the mistake entering this thread while eating pizza. Now, the imagery has me losing appetite real quick.

And moments before, it seemed like such a good idea?

 

[nomar]

Yeah, I guess I could buy into the home version. I've just never found using them in hotels particularly appealing. Plus the whole concept of sitting down on something that looks like a toilet without a seat on it, isn't appealing to me.

I'll give it a shot the next time I'm in Europe. Maybe.

Ah! You're talking about just the bidet. Yeah, I never use those.

 

[SubbaBub]

Ok, all juvenile potty humor aside. Once you've tried these you will think not having one is dirty and gross.

Pros:
1. You're actually clean as opposed to not actually clean. You can decide how important that is to you.
2. Assuming you don't want to spend 4k on a fancy Toto all in one commode, you can get a washlet attachment for your current toilet for about $60.
3. You can get as fancy as you'd like. Heated water yet (yes), heated dryer fan (yes), variable pressure and directional settings (very helpful), seat heater, odor control, motion detection night light, auto seat lift/closure, self cleaning cycle...etc. the base models are cold water with a adjustments.

Cons:
1. You will still need TP, but less because you will wipe less.
2. The washlet units should be detached and cleaned on a regular basis with the rest of the bathroom.
3. The higher end units do use up electricity for the heating and lighting features, so you will want to consider if heating your toilet seat 24/7 or running the night light is worth it to you.
4. For the one needing electricity you will need a reachable GFI outlet. Easy during a renovation, more difficult later.
5. Depending on your skill level, you may experience some splatter under the flight deck. After a few test flights, you'll figure it out.

This is the best combo of options for the money if you're looking for a first class experience.

Amazon.com

 

[CL82]

Ah! You're talking about just the bidet. Yeah, I never use those.

That's what I'm saying.

 

[NEforceUConn]

Do the dryer features work for men? Is it a 2 minutes dry or 5 minutes?

 

[sledog]

Cools those burning roids

 

[RuffRuff]

Cools those burning roids

If you get the one with the V6 engine it will water singe them right off.

 

[boba]

Ok, all juvenile potty humor aside. Once you've tried these you will think not having one is dirty and gross.

When we did the bathroom overhaul many years ago, that was installed in the frau's bathroom. Had to return it Toto for repair (water has clay?) but they were quick and easy about repairing it.
I intensely dislike the experience. I don't like sitting on a hot plate (damn seat warmer) and I especially dislike the sensation resulting from the water jets, both men and women's settings. A god awful experience that keeps me out of her bathroom.
This is obviously a thing which is personal preference. If you are anal retentive and so fastidious about (unnecessary) hygiene, no better way to spend money. If you are old school, and recognize that soap and water are really all you need, then nah.

 

[Chin Diesel]

Do the dryer features work for men? Is it a 2 minutes dry or 5 minutes?

One minute is good.

 

[superjohn]

This thread is great.

It made me fall in love with a toilet.

 

[bdbdbdbd]

Ok, all juvenile potty humor aside. Once you've tried these you will think not having one is dirty and gross.

Pros:
1. You're actually clean as opposed to not actually clean. You can decide how important that is to you.
2. Assuming you don't want to spend 4k on a fancy Toto all in one commode, you can get a washlet attachment for your current toilet for about $60.
3. You can get as fancy as you'd like. Heated water yet (yes), heated dryer fan (yes), variable pressure and directional settings (very helpful), seat heater, odor control, motion detection night light, auto seat lift/closure, self cleaning cycle...etc. the base models are cold water with a adjustments.

Cons:
1. You will still need TP, but less because you will wipe less.
2. The washlet units should be detached and cleaned on a regular basis with the rest of the bathroom.
3. The higher end units do use up electricity for the heating and lighting features, so you will want to consider if heating your toilet seat 24/7 or running the night light is worth it to you.
4. For the one needing electricity you will need a reachable GFI outlet. Easy during a renovation, more difficult later.
5. Depending on your skill level, you may experience some splatter under the flight deck. After a few test flights, you'll figure it out.

This is the best combo of options for the money if you're looking for a first class experience.

Amazon.com

motion detection night light?

To catch people breaking into your house because they heard you have a bidet?

 

[Dove]

This thread is great.

It made me fall in love with a toilet.

Post/Handle/Avatar

 

[CL82]

Post/Avatar

I think you mean post/handle. Still funny though

 

[Dove]

I think you mean post/handle. Still funny though

Ahhh, the hat trick!! The avatar overshadowed his handle.

 

[uconnfan68]

Well in Japan apparently they’ve learned squatting deep over a hole in the ground leads to a cleaner and more productive dump. I’m just not sure all the fat Americans can pull that off without tearing something.

Or ever getting back up.

 

[UCan3]

I can install one of these blindfolded - it’s connecting an adapter that runs to the unit from the water line to the tank. Most electrical units run off battery. Cmon now. Wrench and screwdriver job.

I am in a tight spot and not a lot of room there and no electric closeby
So when you say battery - yes that is good to know - going to have to consult my friend at Chat GPT ….. If it’s an a battery I can handle that but relocating outlet, that’s beyond my skill level.

Also I’m talking the whole toilet to just a seat if that matters.

Either way it’s not well advertised on these bidet sites and I’ve had 2 plumbers turn down the job.

 

[SixRings]

I started considering a high-end toilet back in Covid because the price of TP was ridiculous and more importantly, there was no supply in the stores. That’s a tough thing to run out of. I finally pulled the trigger about 6 months ago when I found out I needed shoulder surgery on my dominant arm. I bought a Woodbridge from Amazon, ran a new gfc outlet up the wall from my basement, and installed it by myself. It was very easy. I can say, without a doubt, it was a great investment. I can set the water temp, seat temp, it has night lights, the cover raises when I approach (a secondary foot tap on the side raises the seat), it has the dryer, a foaming agent for cleaning, and a nice remote control. My friends laugh at me but the jokes on their dirty, smeared, azzes.

 

[jibsey]

I have 3 VoVo’s just the add on replacement seats. About $300 each and you need an outlet GFI. Warm seat warm water. The metal connection piece screws right to the tank. There is no big arm on this so it looks normal. The remote mounts on the wall and is WiFi connected. Installation a breeze.
I was a skeptic but my wife has some stomach issues and I must say it’s very very good and we would not be without them. I’m sold.
Now for the technique. Wait, I will hold details on that unless asked but it’s a double wash and a Secura foam dispense in between. We’re talking Mr. Clean.
So I asked my wife if she had to choose between the VoVo and me what would she choose. She says “for how long ?”. I said a month. She says “see you in a month”.

 

[Icehawk]

Doesn’t make a bit of difference to me, pal. Enjoy smearing your feces all over yourself.

Dude, you don’t touch yourself (to dry) until you’ve already turned it off. Dirty hands don’t need to touch it ever. Also, the whole point is there isn’t feces to be smeared because it was rinsed off.

 

[Deepster]

Dude, you don’t touch yourself (to dry) until you’ve already turned it off. Dirty hands don’t need to touch it ever. Also, the whole point is there isn’t feces to be smeared because it was rinsed off.

Reread the thread, pal. I’m on Team Bidet.

 

[AtlantaHusky]

I bought one for my elderly parents, was awkward (i'm sure you can all imagine) they were like wth is this, but they like it when they realized what it was. My Mother will not allow an install in guest bathroom which is bullshit! It sucks to poop without one once you have it. "Biggest no brainer in history".

 

[Deepster]

I bought one for my elderly parents, was awkward (i'm sure you can all imagine) they were like wth is this, but they like it when they realized what it was. My Mother will not allow an install in guest bathroom which is bullshit! It sucks to poop without once once you have it. "Biggest no brainer in history".

Post of the year so far for 2025.

 

[Dogdeacon]

I have 3 VoVo’s just the add on replacement seats. About $300 each and you need an outlet GFI. Warm seat warm water. The metal connection piece screws right to the tank. There is no big arm on this so it looks normal. The remote mounts on the wall and is WiFi connected. Installation a breeze.
I was a skeptic but my wife has some stomach issues and I must say it’s very very good and we would not be without them. I’m sold.
Now for the technique. Wait, I will hold details on that unless asked but it’s a double wash and a Secura foam dispense in between. We’re talking Mr. Clean.
So I asked my wife if she had to choose between the VoVo and me what would she choose. She says “for how long ?”. I said a month. She says “see you in a month”.

Yeah, TMI for sure but that's my biggest question. How often are you getting your hand involved?

Is the standard two rinses then done ? - Maybe a post bidet test wipe with toilet paper and then you have a decision to make?
Seems like there should be a mirror or camera feature so that you can see if it worked to one's standard.

P.S. - Came on here looking for UConn players in summer league info, hopefully not ironic that ended up talking about $chit stains!

 

[Deepster]

If you’ve got the right angle, you can get a good 8-10 second blast. Then a cursory wipe. Wipe is probably 5% poo, 95% water.

 

[NEforceUConn]

I started considering a high-end toilet back in Covid because the price of TP was ridiculous and more importantly, there was no supply in the stores. That’s a tough thing to run out of. I finally pulled the trigger about 6 months ago when I found out I needed shoulder surgery on my dominant arm. I bought a Woodbridge from Amazon, ran a new gfc outlet up the wall from my basement, and installed it by myself. It was very easy. I can say, without a doubt, it was a great investment. I can set the water temp, seat temp, it has night lights, the cover raises when I approach (a secondary foot tap on the side raises the seat), it has the dryer, a foaming agent for cleaning, and a nice remote control. My friends laugh at me but the jokes on their dirty, smeared, azzes.

On a serious note what brands have the best drying function? I don't need to finish and have to use tp or a towel to dry everytime. Sure every once in awhile a manual dry is acceptable.