Makers Muppet Rant - Can anyone post it?

[Storrs86]

I’m a long-time boneyard reader, but I must have missed it that year. Any chance someone can post it? Apologies - I realize it belongs on the basketball board.

 

[Bezzz]

Found it:

Time to put on your big-boy pants and get down to MSG tomorrow at noon.

Tickets are selling for $10. You have $10 worth of recyclable beer cans in the back seat of your car right now. What in the world are you saving the $10 for? If you're still not ready to commit to spending $10 to see this game, you're probably the type of person who needs to be told that you won't be able to see Justin Bieber Never Say Never (in 3D) for $10. Not going to happen, son.

The constant crying stops now. "Walker tries to do too much, waaah!" "Walker doesn't do enough, waaah!" Let me get your pacifier, you big crybaby. You're so sad because Oriakhi isn't tough enough for you and Beverly isn't good enough for you and Olander's hair isn't dreamy enough for you? Next you'll be telling me that Lamb is too long for you (guess what: you're right).

You think you're so, so special and you deserve only Cuban cigars, 24 year old scotch and the finest corinthian leather, well you're going to have to prove it tomorrow at 12:00pm at 7th Avenue and 33rd Street. The question you should be asking is "Am I good enough for this team," and the answer is actually "No." Life isn't some candy mountain with forests full of steaks prepared just the way you like them and meadows full of models who think your story about the time you ran a car over your own foot makes you the most interesting man they ever desperately wanted to sleep with. Life is a struggle. You get out there and fight for what you get. No one is going to give it to you.

I don't want to hear any of your excuses.

"My wife will kill me if I skip work and go into the city for the game." Who is telling your wife? Not the MakersMuppet. He doesn't even know your wife (as far as you know).

"I just cannot spare the time away from work." Hate to be the one to break it to you, kemosabe, but your job just isn't that important. Remember that time you went on vacation and the world erupted into chaos? Me neither. Plus you're probably more likely to get fired when the IT folks report to your boss that you routinely visit a website called the "boneyard" than when they find out you enjoyed a basketball game at lunchtime. Besides, hitting refresh on espn gameday every 10 seconds isn't "working."

"But MakersMuppet, I live too far away to go to this game." Was Tate George too far away from Scott Burrell against Clemson? Was Rashad Anderson too far behind the three point line against Alabama? Was the scorer's table in Pittsburgh too high for Khalid El Amin? Your attitude make me want to puke.

I'll tell you this: the game isn't too far for the group of 8 or 9 Louisville fans I saw this morning walking down Broadway with wheely-bags in tow, all decked out in silly red outfits looking around awestruck like they'd never seen a paved road or a woman under 275 lbs before. If those SOBs could take the mule to the covered wagon to the stagecoach and still get to New York City for the game, the least you can do is get off your lazy behind and catch a damned train. Unless, of course, you're admitting that you're not a real fan. And that's OK, there are other things you can be involved in other than rooting for the Huskies. Like knitting, or Worlds of Warcraft or having pretend light saber battles with your imaginary friends. If that's the way you want to go out, be my guest. I'll see the rest of you tomorrow. I'll be the one in MSG rooting for the Huskies.

 

[superjohn]

Found it:

Time to put on your big-boy pants and get down to MSG tomorrow at noon.

Tickets are selling for $10. You have $10 worth of recyclable beer cans in the back seat of your car right now. What in the world are you saving the $10 for? If you're still not ready to commit to spending $10 to see this game, you're probably the type of person who needs to be told that you won't be able to see Justin Bieber Never Say Never (in 3D) for $10. Not going to happen, son.

The constant crying stops now. "Walker tries to do too much, waaah!" "Walker doesn't do enough, waaah!" Let me get your pacifier, you big crybaby. You're so sad because Oriakhi isn't tough enough for you and Beverly isn't good enough for you and Olander's hair isn't dreamy enough for you? Next you'll be telling me that Lamb is too long for you (guess what: you're right).

You think you're so, so special and you deserve only Cuban cigars, 24 year old scotch and the finest corinthian leather, well you're going to have to prove it tomorrow at 12:00pm at 7th Avenue and 33rd Street. The question you should be asking is "Am I good enough for this team," and the answer is actually "No." Life isn't some candy mountain with forests full of steaks prepared just the way you like them and meadows full of models who think your story about the time you ran a car over your own foot makes you the most interesting man they ever desperately wanted to sleep with. Life is a struggle. You get out there and fight for what you get. No one is going to give it to you.

I don't want to hear any of your excuses.

"My wife will kill me if I skip work and go into the city for the game." Who is telling your wife? Not the MakersMuppet. He doesn't even know your wife (as far as you know).

"I just cannot spare the time away from work." Hate to be the one to break it to you, kemosabe, but your job just isn't that important. Remember that time you went on vacation and the world erupted into chaos? Me neither. Plus you're probably more likely to get fired when the IT folks report to your boss that you routinely visit a website called the "boneyard" than when they find out you enjoyed a basketball game at lunchtime. Besides, hitting refresh on espn gameday every 10 seconds isn't "working."

"But MakersMuppet, I live too far away to go to this game." Was Tate George too far away from Scott Burrell against Clemson? Was Rashad Anderson too far behind the three point line against Alabama? Was the scorer's table in Pittsburgh too high for Khalid El Amin? Your attitude make me want to puke.

I'll tell you this: the game isn't too far for the group of 8 or 9 Louisville fans I saw this morning walking down Broadway with wheely-bags in tow, all decked out in silly red outfits looking around awestruck like they'd never seen a paved road or a woman under 275 lbs before. If those SOBs could take the mule to the covered wagon to the stagecoach and still get to New York City for the game, the least you can do is get off your lazy behind and catch a damned train. Unless, of course, you're admitting that you're not a real fan. And that's OK, there are other things you can be involved in other than rooting for the Huskies. Like knitting, or Worlds of Warcraft or having pretend light saber battles with your imaginary friends. If that's the way you want to go out, be my guest. I'll see the rest of you tomorrow. I'll be the one in MSG rooting for the Huskies.

Usually your memory makes things better than they actually were but that's even better than I remember.

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

Found it:

Time to put on your big-boy pants and get down to MSG tomorrow at noon.

Tickets are selling for $10. You have $10 worth of recyclable beer cans in the back seat of your car right now. What in the world are you saving the $10 for? If you're still not ready to commit to spending $10 to see this game, you're probably the type of person who needs to be told that you won't be able to see Justin Bieber Never Say Never (in 3D) for $10. Not going to happen, son.

The constant crying stops now. "Walker tries to do too much, waaah!" "Walker doesn't do enough, waaah!" Let me get your pacifier, you big crybaby. You're so sad because Oriakhi isn't tough enough for you and Beverly isn't good enough for you and Olander's hair isn't dreamy enough for you? Next you'll be telling me that Lamb is too long for you (guess what: you're right).

You think you're so, so special and you deserve only Cuban cigars, 24 year old scotch and the finest corinthian leather, well you're going to have to prove it tomorrow at 12:00pm at 7th Avenue and 33rd Street. The question you should be asking is "Am I good enough for this team," and the answer is actually "No." Life isn't some candy mountain with forests full of steaks prepared just the way you like them and meadows full of models who think your story about the time you ran a car over your own foot makes you the most interesting man they ever desperately wanted to sleep with. Life is a struggle. You get out there and fight for what you get. No one is going to give it to you.

I don't want to hear any of your excuses.

"My wife will kill me if I skip work and go into the city for the game." Who is telling your wife? Not the MakersMuppet. He doesn't even know your wife (as far as you know).

"I just cannot spare the time away from work." Hate to be the one to break it to you, kemosabe, but your job just isn't that important. Remember that time you went on vacation and the world erupted into chaos? Me neither. Plus you're probably more likely to get fired when the IT folks report to your boss that you routinely visit a website called the "boneyard" than when they find out you enjoyed a basketball game at lunchtime. Besides, hitting refresh on espn gameday every 10 seconds isn't "working."

"But MakersMuppet, I live too far away to go to this game." Was Tate George too far away from Scott Burrell against Clemson? Was Rashad Anderson too far behind the three point line against Alabama? Was the scorer's table in Pittsburgh too high for Khalid El Amin? Your attitude make me want to puke.

I'll tell you this: the game isn't too far for the group of 8 or 9 Louisville fans I saw this morning walking down Broadway with wheely-bags in tow, all decked out in silly red outfits looking around awestruck like they'd never seen a paved road or a woman under 275 lbs before. If those SOBs could take the mule to the covered wagon to the stagecoach and still get to New York City for the game, the least you can do is get off your lazy behind and catch a damned train. Unless, of course, you're admitting that you're not a real fan. And that's OK, there are other things you can be involved in other than rooting for the Huskies. Like knitting, or Worlds of Warcraft or having pretend light saber battles with your imaginary friends. If that's the way you want to go out, be my guest. I'll see the rest of you tomorrow. I'll be the one in MSG rooting for the Huskies.

For one day I get a WOW emoji, and then it's gone when I need it for this.

 

[CL82]

You people don't know what you've done. You just don't randomly post MakersMuppet. It's like opening the Ark of the Covenant. There are precautions that must be taken. The near limitless Mojo must be absorbed. Fortunately, we have a game at the Garden tonight. I only hope it is enough. Otherwise...

 

[JB75]

Found it:

Time to put on your big-boy pants and get down to MSG tomorrow at noon.

Tickets are selling for $10. You have $10 worth of recyclable beer cans in the back seat of your car right now. What in the world are you saving the $10 for? If you're still not ready to commit to spending $10 to see this game, you're probably the type of person who needs to be told that you won't be able to see Justin Bieber Never Say Never (in 3D) for $10. Not going to happen, son.

The constant crying stops now. "Walker tries to do too much, waaah!" "Walker doesn't do enough, waaah!" Let me get your pacifier, you big crybaby. You're so sad because Oriakhi isn't tough enough for you and Beverly isn't good enough for you and Olander's hair isn't dreamy enough for you? Next you'll be telling me that Lamb is too long for you (guess what: you're right).

You think you're so, so special and you deserve only Cuban cigars, 24 year old scotch and the finest corinthian leather, well you're going to have to prove it tomorrow at 12:00pm at 7th Avenue and 33rd Street. The question you should be asking is "Am I good enough for this team," and the answer is actually "No." Life isn't some candy mountain with forests full of steaks prepared just the way you like them and meadows full of models who think your story about the time you ran a car over your own foot makes you the most interesting man they ever desperately wanted to sleep with. Life is a struggle. You get out there and fight for what you get. No one is going to give it to you.

I don't want to hear any of your excuses.

"My wife will kill me if I skip work and go into the city for the game." Who is telling your wife? Not the MakersMuppet. He doesn't even know your wife (as far as you know).

"I just cannot spare the time away from work." Hate to be the one to break it to you, kemosabe, but your job just isn't that important. Remember that time you went on vacation and the world erupted into chaos? Me neither. Plus you're probably more likely to get fired when the IT folks report to your boss that you routinely visit a website called the "boneyard" than when they find out you enjoyed a basketball game at lunchtime. Besides, hitting refresh on espn gameday every 10 seconds isn't "working."

"But MakersMuppet, I live too far away to go to this game." Was Tate George too far away from Scott Burrell against Clemson? Was Rashad Anderson too far behind the three point line against Alabama? Was the scorer's table in Pittsburgh too high for Khalid El Amin? Your attitude make me want to puke.

I'll tell you this: the game isn't too far for the group of 8 or 9 Louisville fans I saw this morning walking down Broadway with wheely-bags in tow, all decked out in silly red outfits looking around awestruck like they'd never seen a paved road or a woman under 275 lbs before. If those SOBs could take the mule to the covered wagon to the stagecoach and still get to New York City for the game, the least you can do is get off your lazy behind and catch a damned train. Unless, of course, you're admitting that you're not a real fan. And that's OK, there are other things you can be involved in other than rooting for the Huskies. Like knitting, or Worlds of Warcraft or having pretend light saber battles with your imaginary friends. If that's the way you want to go out, be my guest. I'll see the rest of you tomorrow. I'll be the one in MSG rooting for the Huskies.

Ha. That’s classic. Best line “Louisville fans awestruck like they ve never seen a paved road or a woman under 275 lbs.”

 

[businesslawyer]

For those of you not around long enough to remember the context of the post, the 2010-2011 season had gotten of to a shockingly good start with Kemba Walker emerging as a player of the year candidate and leading a bunch of young 'uns to the Maui championship. However, the Big East that year had been incredibly tough in November and December, dominating other conferences in OOC play, and our schedule was brutal. We struggled into the clubhouse in 9th place out of 16, and (shocking in the Boneyard, I know) many were all dismayed and whiney that we were struggling and not just ripping through maybe as tough a schedule as we ever had like they wanted, and in a new format we would have to play 5 games in 5 days to win. The post was before we started with last place DePaul in a (roughly) noon tip off at a game almost no one would be at.

I was there, however, on Saturday night, when we beat Louisville and the fans with their roller bags in a Garden that had solidified behind Kemba (whether or not you were a UConn fan) and was totally electric.

 

[HobokenHusky]

"Life isn't some candy mountain with forests full of steaks prepared just the way you like them and meadows full of models who think your story about the time you ran a car over your own foot makes you the most interesting man they ever desperately wanted to sleep with. Life is a struggle. You get out there and fight for what you get. No one is going to give it to you."

That should be on a plaque under the Husky statue on campus.

 

[MattMang23]

I was there, however, on Saturday night, when we beat Louisville and the fans with their roller bags in a Garden that had solidified behind Kemba (whether or not you were a UConn fan) and was totally electric.

I was at that game as well. Best atmosphere of any sporting event I can remember being at. My friends I was with that night say only the Elite 8 game at MSG against MSU in 2014 was better. I woulda been at that game as well but I got married the day before. Considering I divorced her ass anyway, I shoulda just went to the game! Ahhh, hindsight.

 

[CL82]

Considering I divorced her ass, I regret not being there for that one!

Wow, you probably should have divorced all of her.

 

[pj]

Wow, you probably should have divorced all of her.

But she keeps her wallet in her brassiere.

 

[Dream Jobbed 2.0]

Completely forgot the Louisville part.

 

[OkaForPrez]

Work of art.

 

[MattMang23]

Wow, you probably should have divorced all of her.

Bahahaha

 

[FatHank]

The post and context is epic. 5 games, 5 days baby. Like 9/11, I will never forget.

 

[MattMang23]

The post and context is epic. 5 games, 5 days baby. Like 9/11, I will never forget.

Ehhhhh, miiiiiiiight not be the most apt comparison, guy.

 

[Deepster]

Sweet Jesus, that post is gold.

 

[CTMike]

Viva la Muppet!

 

[jibsey]

The post is so epic it deserves to be written on parchment and sealed in a case with Helium and water vapor like the US Constitution. It’s lost nothing in all these years but what happened that year made it legendary. Love the Ark of The Covenant reference. Funny thing is that we are probably closer to finding Bigfoot than we are Maker.

 

[8893]

Almost eight years later and I am still crying from laughing so hard as I read that. Work of art.

 

[businesslawyer]

I was at that game as well. Best atmosphere of any sporting event I can remember being at. My friends I was with that night say only the Elite 8 game at MSG against MSU in 2014 was better. I woulda been at that game as well but I got married the day before. Considering I divorced her ass anyway, I shoulda just went to the game! Ahhh, hindsight.

One of my sons and I scalped tickets for an ungodly amount and saw the Sweet 16 win against Iowa State. We made an ultimate sacrifice for the MSU game -- we didn't go because our record at Regional Finals was 0-2 (we were in Syracuse in '02 when the Caron Butler team lost to eventual champion Maryland and we were in DC for George friggin Mason in '06) and we weren't willing to risk taking UConn down with us.

 

[MattMang23]

One of my sons and I scalped tickets for an ungodly amount and saw the Sweet 16 win against Iowa State. We made an ultimate sacrifice for the MSU game -- we didn't go because our record at Regional Finals was 0-2 (we were in Syracuse in '02 when the Caron Butler team lost to eventual champion Maryland and we were in DC for George friggin Mason in '06) and we weren't willing to risk taking UConn down with us.

I, for one, appreciate the sacrifice. My girlfriend was a senior team manager the year of the George Mason game and she decided to go to Cabo for spring break instead of going with the team to the game. She was Josh Boone’s personal water distributor. I blame her for the loss.

 

[UC313]

My life more rich for reading that. Simply amazing.

 

[HooperScooper]

The Mount Rushmore of BY posts. Seems like yesterday.

 

[Lefty2one]

I'll tell you this: the game isn't too far for the group of 8 or 9 Louisville fans I saw this morning walking down Broadway with wheely-bags in tow, all decked out in silly red outfits looking around awestruck like they'd never seen a paved road or a woman under 275 lbs before.

God damn! This gave me one hell of a chuckle.