Found it:
Time to put on your big-boy pants and get down to MSG tomorrow at noon.
Tickets are selling for $10. You have $10 worth of recyclable beer cans in the back seat of your car right now. What in the world are you saving the $10 for? If you're still not ready to commit to spending $10 to see this game, you're probably the type of person who needs to be told that you won't be able to see Justin Bieber Never Say Never (in 3D) for $10. Not going to happen, son.
The constant crying stops now. "Walker tries to do too much, waaah!" "Walker doesn't do enough, waaah!" Let me get your pacifier, you big crybaby. You're so sad because Oriakhi isn't tough enough for you and Beverly isn't good enough for you and Olander's hair isn't dreamy enough for you? Next you'll be telling me that Lamb is too long for you (guess what: you're right).
You think you're so, so special and you deserve only Cuban cigars, 24 year old scotch and the finest corinthian leather, well you're going to have to prove it tomorrow at 12:00pm at 7th Avenue and 33rd Street. The question you should be asking is "Am I good enough for this team," and the answer is actually "No." Life isn't some candy mountain with forests full of steaks prepared just the way you like them and meadows full of models who think your story about the time you ran a car over your own foot makes you the most interesting man they ever desperately wanted to sleep with. Life is a struggle. You get out there and fight for what you get. No one is going to give it to you.
I don't want to hear any of your excuses.
"My wife will kill me if I skip work and go into the city for the game." Who is telling your wife? Not the MakersMuppet. He doesn't even know your wife (as far as you know).
"I just cannot spare the time away from work." Hate to be the one to break it to you, kemosabe, but your job just isn't that important. Remember that time you went on vacation and the world erupted into chaos? Me neither. Plus you're probably more likely to get fired when the IT folks report to your boss that you routinely visit a website called the "boneyard" than when they find out you enjoyed a basketball game at lunchtime. Besides, hitting refresh on espn gameday every 10 seconds isn't "working."
"But MakersMuppet, I live too far away to go to this game." Was Tate George too far away from Scott Burrell against Clemson? Was Rashad Anderson too far behind the three point line against Alabama? Was the scorer's table in Pittsburgh too high for Khalid El Amin? Your attitude make me want to puke.
I'll tell you this: the game isn't too far for the group of 8 or 9 Louisville fans I saw this morning walking down Broadway with wheely-bags in tow, all decked out in silly red outfits looking around awestruck like they'd never seen a paved road or a woman under 275 lbs before. If those SOBs could take the mule to the covered wagon to the stagecoach and still get to New York City for the game, the least you can do is get off your lazy behind and catch a damned train. Unless, of course, you're admitting that you're not a real fan. And that's OK, there are other things you can be involved in other than rooting for the Huskies. Like knitting, or Worlds of Warcraft or having pretend light saber battles with your imaginary friends. If that's the way you want to go out, be my guest. I'll see the rest of you tomorrow. I'll be the one in MSG rooting for the Huskies.
