Lord Penfield demands a hanging | The Boneyard

Lord Penfield demands a hanging

Penfield

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Brother @Deepster . You honor me by passing me your mojo torch. I applaud your wisdom and courage to step down at your peak. But I fear you will soon regret this decision. This reminds me of when James A. Calhoun retired just as season loomed and named his own successor. This can only end just as badly, but first we must squeeze the final mojo juices from you.

You see Deepster as many have so plainly seen, there is only one yarder worthy of punishment this year. To sentence anyone else would at best be ignored by the mojo gods and at worst anger them greatly.

It must be you Deepster. Only you can right what you’ve wronged. But what are we to do with you? What punishment could possibly fit your crime? Your stature? I’ve pondered it thoroughly. It is clear.

You see to the novice, Mojo is seen as luck. Something that is bestowed at random, not earned with proper sacrifice and commitment.

It is your lack of commitment brother Deepster that has driven the Mojo from our ranks and into the hands of the unworthy.
I’m sure that you fully see the error of your ways but haven’t been able to come to terms with it. You ignore the student section full of Kelly Green. You ignore Ed Cooley proclaiming himself a Leprechaun.
Do you not see the Mojo choosing your most hated program to smite you?

No Brother Deepster, you see it. And you know what you must do.

To truly stoke the Mojo flames, the punished must sacrifice in a way that truly pains them. And so you pain you must endure.

As my 1st decree as the 2nd curator of the Mojo, I hereby sentence you to root for the Providence Friars so long as UConn continues to play in 2022.

You shall change your Profile Picture to Ed Cooley. If FriarJ posts, you are to like it. You are to preview the Providence North Dakota State game with glowing optimism for the friars. Should they fall? You are to lament the loss and look forward to next year. When a post mentions Adama Sanogo you must tell us why Nate Watson is better. Explain why Ken Pomeroy is a nitwit. Tell us how Justin Manaya was robbed of DPOY. Tim Welsh was a better Coach than Jim Calhoun? You better write up a post and explain why.

Go forth now Brother Deepster and serve your time well. Return the Mojo where it belongs. Godspeed and may the luck of the Friarish be with you
 
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Jack Nicholson Yes GIF by The Taboo Group
 

August_West

Universal remote, put it down on docking station.
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I love it. Very inspired, pencilforest. But deep has really forsaken everyone by choosing to run around Nashville with a couple chicks on the eve of the tourney and through the weekend. Talk about abdicating the throne at the most crucial time.


Also dude. Nice shooting at nova game at XL!
 

OkaForPrez

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I love it. Very inspired, pencilforest. But deep has really forsaken everyone by choosing to run around Nashville with a couple chicks on the eve of the tourney and through the weekend. Talk about abdicating the throne at the most crucial time.


Also dude. Nice shooting at nova game at XL!
One of you yahoos has to have this guy on speed dial. Do the needful thing.
 

Penfield

a.k.a PencilForest
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I love it. Very inspired, pencilforest. But deep has really forsaken everyone by choosing to run around Nashville with a couple chicks on the eve of the tourney and through the weekend. Talk about abdicating the throne at the most crucial time.


Also dude. Nice shooting at nova game at XL!

Truly despicable behavior. Dumpster should have to post a Haiku about his love for Austin Croshere

Thank you!

"The Boneyard stands with Aubrien"
 

CL82

NCAA Men’s Basketball National Champions - Again!
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Nice job Penfield. In a perfect world, I would’ve wanted a trial to let the heretic deepster fail away in a desperate attempt to defend himself. The mojo loves a good death spasm. Alas the heretic deepster has wasted too much time so I see the wisdom is moving right to sentencing.

So, your honor, what should the rest of the faithful do in the event that the heretic deepster fails to obey his sentence? What if he posts but does not post about Providence? I feel like there needs to be a response. My gut reaction says it should be “Shut up you Friar loving bastard!“ but not being an anarchist like the heretic deepster, I await the court’s direction.
 

Hans Sprungfeld

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Not picky, petty
punctuation pedantry
They're truly errors:

You are to preview the Providence North Dakota State game with glowing optimism for the friars.
The Providence foe is SOUTH Dakota State.
Tell us how Justin Manaya was robbed of DPOY.
Justin MINAYA is the PC player.

Correct mistakes, please
It will make the sentence true
And stoke the mojo

Oh - I'm good to let this one out in the open and see where it lands....
Do you have any ability to OPEN his editing window to correct factual errors if time has expired?
 

CL82

NCAA Men’s Basketball National Champions - Again!
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Not picky, petty
punctuation pedantry
They're truly errors:


The Providence foe is SOUTH Dakota State.

Justin MINAYA is the PC player.

Correct mistakes, please
It will make the sentence true
And stoke the mojo


Do you have any ability to OPEN his editing window to correct factual errors if time has expired?

Pssh, mere details and pendantry. The Boneyard has a long tradition of not letting facts get in the way of justice. Justice, sir, is what we seek here.
 

CL82

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While we are at it I wouldn’t mind prankster being strung up for sedition
Personally, I wouldn’t mind if he was strung up for jaywalking.
 

Penfield

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Nice job Penfield. In a perfect world, I would’ve wanted a trial to let the heretic deepster fail away in a desperate attempt to defend himself. The mojo loves a good death spasm. The heretic deepster has wasted too much time.

So, your honor, what should the rest of the faithful deal in the event that the heretic deepster fails to obey his sentence? What if he posts but does not post about Providence? I feel like there needs to be a response. My gut reaction says it should be “Shut up you Friar loving bastard!“ but not being an anarchist like the heretic deepster, I await the court’s direction.

Sir you have read my mind, and I appreciate your eloquent language.

In the event that Deepster posts about anything other that his love for the Friars we must respond with “Shut up Dumpster you Frair loving Bastard”

But to keep the mojo balanced we must all donate to Aubrien’s cause for each Pro-Frair thread Deepster starts. Deepster gets to pick the topic but he must make a compelling argument as to why the Friars are better than UConn. It’s up to all of you on what you will commit. I will kick things off $5 per thread from now until the end of the opening weekend.
 

Penfield

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I actually like Dave’s bakery pizza, it’s pretty solid after your 7th or 8th beer. Might hint towards my drinking problem moreso…

My wife is from RI and I have to admit she finally converted me with Dave’s
 

OkaForPrez

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Sir you have read my mind, and I appreciate your eloquent language.

In the event that Deepster posts about anything other that his love for the Friars we must respond with “Shut up Dumpster you Frair loving Bastard”

But to keep the mojo balanced we must all donate to Aubrien’s cause for each Pro-Frair thread Deepster starts. Deepster gets to pick the topic but he must make a compelling argument as to why the Friars are better than UConn. It’s up to all of you on what you will commit. I will kick things off $5 per thread from now until the end of the opening weekend.
In for $5 per thread.
 

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