Kara Lawson has a legitimate beef....

[RegisteredUconn]

While there's something almost "pure" about a five person unit, I'm OK with a larger number. After all, its called the "all conference" team. If you think of it as your conference is going into battle with other conferences, you wouldn't take just five players. How many players on the national team? Or allowed on scholarship? That's how many most coaches would choose.

What about the "starters" you ask. Shouldn't they be "first" team? Not necessarily? The "five" a coach starts aren't necessarily the "five" s/he would have on the floor at crunch time. Caroline Doty anyone? Didn't Maya come off the bench until (why am I drawing a blank right now...if you knew how old I really was, you'd cut me some slack) what's-her-name went down? The deeper a team is, the more likely it has someone on the bench at the start that is, for all intents and purposes, as good as who is on the floor at the start.

While we're at it, let's remember, it's the best team we're after, not the best set of individuals. According to the movie Miracle, the assistant coach, when he saw Herb Brooks' proposed roster for the first time, remarked they were leaving some of the best players home. Herb said he wasn't looking for the best players, he wanted the best team. Hasn't Geno said as much about his own recruiting?

 

[Icebear]

That's all internal to that family and has no business related to all star teams. When every soccer player on the last place team gets a trophy, I don't care what age, it only makes the parents feel special, not the kid.

Pretty much the point I was making. Growing up in Branford 50+ year ago everyone got a tiny plastic "toy" trophy for participating. Winners got "real" trophies of wood and metal. The difference was clear. Success and achievement was recognized and rewarded.

 

[RegisteredUconn]

Nobody wants to undergo open heart surgery with the guy who got a med school participation trophy.

 

[Icebear]

Nobody wants to undergo open heart surgery with the guy who got a med school participation trophy.

And yet those who go to med school can be invaluable in communities that are neglected in medical care so long as they pass their cert tests and are licensed.

 

[RegisteredUconn]

And yet those who go to med school can be invaluable in communities that are neglected in medical care so long as they pass their cert tests and are licensed.

Made an argument based on your observation to some high school students years ago concerned about the Bakke affirmative case. They worried that not selecting the brightest (as identified by whatever method) students was unjust. I cautioned that medical schools, especially publics, had a duty to educate doctors for everyone, not just those living in Beverly Hills. To the extent "underprivileged" students can successfully complete the required work and will practice in "under served" communities, they can be as valuable a member of the class as the better test takers.

 

[Ozzie Nelson]

What Dweck is saying is that your affirmation should be directed in a different direction than in 'trophies' or relative 'success'. So actual winning or losing doesn't matter as much as the effort/work/persistence you put into something. The latter is rewarded, so affirmation is still there, just with a different emphasis.

Exactly...thanks for reading the link.

 

[Sonny44]

While there's something almost "pure" about a five person unit, I'm OK with a larger number. After all, its called the "all conference" team. If you think of it as your conference is going into battle with other conferences, you wouldn't take just five players. How many players on the national team? Or allowed on scholarship? That's how many most coaches would choose.

What about the "starters" you ask. Shouldn't they be "first" team? Not necessarily? The "five" a coach starts aren't necessarily the "five" s/he would have on the floor at crunch time. Caroline Doty anyone? Didn't Maya come off the bench until (why am I drawing a blank right now...if you knew how old I really was, you'd cut me some slack) what's-her-name went down? The deeper a team is, the more likely it has someone on the bench at the start that is, for all intents and purposes, as good as who is on the floor at the start.

While we're at it, let's remember, it's the best team we're after, not the best set of individuals. According to the movie Miracle, the assistant coach, when he saw Herb Brooks' proposed roster for the first time, remarked they were leaving some of the best players home. Herb said he wasn't looking for the best players, he wanted the best team. Hasn't Geno said as much about his own recruiting?

You can have a 2nd team; what more do you need?

 

[boontonbomber]

worth noting here that Michala Johnson was selected to the all big 10 first team by the coaches. they did select 11 players, but still a big accomplishment for her.

 

[RegisteredUconn]

You can have a 2nd team; what more do you need?

Not necessarily anything. I was more arguing that the team is the team. I realize that, as humans we try to apply lessons learned in one area to other realms. I realize we often find hierarchical arrangements useful.

Arrange in order from most to least importance: heart, brain, lungs, stomach, liver.

 

[Icebear]

As with most things, I think a balanced approach is appropriate. Praising effort is great. Some kids don't get enough affirmation. But I've seen some, at the other end, who are stunned when they don't get admitted to Harvard. Life is full of wins and losses, success and failure. But kids, in my view, should be introduced to the negatives at an age when they can handle them. They also should get a hug from a loved one after a loss. At some point, ideally, the kids grow to the point where they can withstand the rigors of playing for Geno. Kids who got no affirmation, as well as those who were told they were perfect, will not survive playing for Geno.

Bingo!

I have a kid from our congregation who had the most complete resume coming out of high school I have ever seen. He was valedictorian of his class, 1500 on his SATs, was the secretary and then the president of our denominational regional youth organization, played 5 or 6 instruments including piano (once finished as a finalist in state competition), guitar, trombone and horn, bass, and another, is an Eagle Scout (he went to Philmont), he served as staff at our synodical church camp for three years and attended our national youth gathering with our youth and 40,000 other kids, ran track competing in the hurdles (in college, too) and more. He was never a kid to settle for easy paths. When he decided to learn guitar his first song was Signe by Eric Clapton. A song he chose in part because he knew it was my grandmother's name. When he played it it was amazing.

He was turned down by Yale, Harvard, Dartmouth, and Georgetown and so he went to Bucknell and majored in Chinese and business and did a junior year abroad. He later married a lovely Chinese native. And has continued to live there.

He went to work in China teaching and opening English language schools. Returned to the US to get his Masters at U Cal-SD and was wait listed at the London School of Economics and was accepted two days after committing to U Cal. He returned to China and for the last two years has been piloting a new program teaching Chinese entrepreneurialism. His Masters thesis was written on the economic emergence of the Mekong Delta and in a delicious irony he was invited to speak at Harvard on these topics.

He is now looking to return to the US to do his PHD work.

He has currently created a blog on the economics of China and Southeast Asia and was seeking to broaden his network so he talked to some people in the state department for broader understanding. The response of the person he spoke to was, "gosh, when we want to know the current trends we read your blog.

Not everyone sees the gifts that lie in people who may be at the cutting edge. Ryan had the support of his family, his Sunday School teachers, his pastor and others who knew he was special. Developmentally, that gave him the strength when others didn't see it to keep pushing forward believing in himself. Many social and cultural awards fall short. Using records as measures of transcendence is fine and good but it still can miss so much.

I wish I could find the piece he sent to me to read at the memorial service of one of his Sunday School teachers. Reading it you can not miss the importance we all have in affirming our kids while challenging them to stretch the limits of what can be envisioned as possible. Sometimes the most important thing we can acknowledge and affirm is that they get in there and compete.

 

[Icebear]

Found the piece and thought some might enjoy it. It is a wonderful remainder of the impact we may have on someone.

"Sue is the embodiment of the type of person we should strive to be in our community. She always wore a smile through her unwavering presence as a teacher in our church taught generations of us how to smile. More importantly, Sue taught us that there are few divisions in the world between when we should act this way or that way – that we should love always and care always for one another. My most profound memory of her teaching was a parable that she read to us in Junior church that taught us to appreciate the beauty in all things, the beauty in the blue sky and the clouds, in the grasses and stones that line the streets. I saw things differently after she shared this lesson with us. She wanted us to take nothing for granted and make the best out of any situation. We are all much better people for having Sue as our teacher and her light still shines brightly. To honor her, we should reflect on her contributions to our lives and ask ourselves if we are truly carrying out her legacy in loving and caring for each other unconditionally."