Jury reached a verdict on Sandusky

[DudleyDoRight]

Now that the verdict is in, I'm freed up to think back upon the time that PSU and Joe Pa defended Rene's Portland's heinous behavior. They were so worried about possible lesbians in their ranks, but looking the other way about the real problem. I don't trust PSU to do the right thing....

 

[UConnChapette]

The revelation of Matt Sandusky being ready to testify against his father: I wonder how his siblings [and Dottie] will react to this.
Does Dottie [and the others] now isolate him because he is lying about Jerry? Would his admission lead to any of them accepting the guilt of the father?

BTW: just a note....Matt had previously denied that he was abused. Would that have led to the jury not considering his testimony truthful?

Telling other family members comes with a high emotional risk.

A very good friend of mine was molested by her father when she was growing up. It always happened when he was drunk. It was mostly fondling, he never raped her. He stopped drinking and eventually owned up to what he had done and how it affected her, and apologized. Still, the impact on her life was severe: overeating and the resultant weight issues, promiscuity, experimentation with some hard core drugs. It took her years of counseling to deal with the emotional wounds. She never told her mother because she didn't want to break her mother's heart. She did tell her brother years after it happened. Their relationship has never been the same. He almost competely cut off contact with his father, and to a lesser degree with her. He says no, but she believes her brother somehow blames HER for what happened. Her parents have since passed on, and she craves the close relationship she used to have with her brother. She told me recently knowing what she knows now about the impact her revelation had on her relationship with her brother, she wishes she had never told him about the abuse.

The shame of what happened, the feelings that somehow they did something to "deserve" it, or encourage it, and the fear of losing the love and support of those closest to them are powerful motivators for victims' denials and keeping the secret.

 

[justML]

That is what I thought, is anyone old enough to remember S+H green stamps ? We got some pretty good things with them. I need a new laptop, how many points will I need. ?

I was very young but remember my mother collecting them and .... if I'm remembering correctly, pasting them into a book?

 

[justML]

Thank goodness the victims found the courage to come forward with their stories. Who knows how many other victims are out there?

What I do believe 100% is that these brave young men have saved what would have been future victims of this monster.

 

[meyers7]

I was very young but remember my mother collecting them and .... if I'm remembering correctly, pasting them into a book?

I remember going to the S&H Green Stamp Store with the books. We never got anything I wanted though.

 

[Icebear]

Thank goodness the victims found the courage to come forward with their stories. Who knows how many other victims are out there?

What I do believe 100% is that these brave young men have saved what would have been future victims of this monster.

Absolutely, justML, and that is why despite the all too familiar tale that Chapette recounted of her friend it is critical for individuals to come forward and others to resist judgment because that accompanying of what will others think is so paralyzing.

 

[UConnChapette]

That is what I thought, is anyone old enough to remember S+H green stamps ? We got some pretty good things with them. I need a new laptop, how many points will I need. ?

Oh man, do I remember them. My mother would just stick the strips of stamps she would get in a drawer. Then when she saw something she wanted at the S&H redemption center it would be a marathon "stick the stamps in the books" event. We never thought to use a damp rag or sponge, just our tongues. I still gag when I have to lick an envelope, and I am so grateful the post office now has self adhesive stamps. Ah, the tortures of a 60's childhood

 

[Husky7882]

Where was Sandusky's wife during all this? How could a mother not know something was going on? Please don't tell me that everyone was able to cover it up so that she never knew, I absolutely reject that. A mother knows, she just does. I also don't believe that she never heard her husband's victims screaming for help. She should be prosecuted along with the other enablers.

"Some" mothers know, Nan; others just can't face reality (especially when the guilty party is one of her own close relatives) and choose to either downplay the problem or dismiss it altogether. It's their only own coping mechanism, a tragedy all around.

Unfortunately, I know where this statement of mine is coming from.

 

[HuskyNan]

"Some" mothers know, Nan; others just can't face reality (especially when the guilty party is one of her own close relatives) and choose to either downplay the problem or dismiss it altogether. It's their only own coping mechanism, a tragedy all around.

Unfortunately, I know where this statement of mine is coming from.

I'm truly sorry for your pain and regret if the Sandusky scanal has resurrected old hurts.

Mothers know all right but some choose to either look the other way or to go into denial. These people are incomprehensible to me. If anyone abused my children, physically, sexually or emotionally, I would be in their faces and would call the police, if need be. I don't care if it were my husband, step-father or brothers. I know whereof I speak as my father was physically and emotionally abusive. Perhaps that's why I'm so vehement about adults being resposible and doing the right thing to protect children.

 

[Husky7882]

I'm truly sorry for your pain and regret if the Sandusky scanal has resurrected old hurts.

Mothers know all right but some choose to either look the other way or to go into denial. These people are incomprehensible to me. If anyone abused my children, physically, sexually or emotionally, I would be in their faces and would call the police, if need be. I don't care if it were my husband, step-father or brothers. I know whereof I speak as my father was physically and emotionally abusive. Perhaps that's why I'm so vehement about adults being resposible and doing the right thing to protect children.

Actually, I stayed away from the scandal - I just couldn't deal with it.
As for everything else you say, I take my hat off to you. While some abused children become abusing parents, you and I became mother bears. Hooray for survivors like us!

 

[Zorro]

Whether or not a person is responsible for the commission of compulsive acts is, I think, a moot question. A truly compulsive person is powerless against the compulsion, and no one sets out to become compulsive. Maybe Sandusky truly could not help doing the things he did. (Legally, of course, there is no option other than putting him away.) However, as to the "normal" people who were knowledgeable about what was going on and did not intervene, their guilt is clear and I hope yhey severely punished. And the same goes for the high officials of the Church who put the reputation of the Church and their own convenience above the welfare of helpless children.

 

[CL82]

I love that there are two so very different conversations going on in this thread.

 

[JS]

I love that there are two so very different conversations going on in this thread.

Yes. Just as you begin to get apoplectic over the child abusers, you can get relief by harking back to S&H Green Stamps.

Which works fine unless, of course, it reminds you of the guy in the raincoat who lurked near the redemption center.

 

[Icebear]

As of yesterday the defense attorneys have announced their "basis" for appeal. They have said they did not have enough time for preparation for the trial and attempted to resign the day before the trial because of that. They are maintaing that led to an insufficiency of adequate defense.

 

[meyers7]

As of yesterday the defense attorneys have announced their "basis" for appeal. They have said they did not have enough time for preparation for the trial and attempted to resign the day before the trial because of that. They are maintaing that led to an insufficiency of adequate defense.

Well they certainly didn't seem to put a lot into the defense. (not really sure they could have though).

 

[Icebear]

Well they certainly didn't seem to put a lot into the defense. (not really sure they could have though).

Yeah, it was kind of throw it against the wall and hope something sticks. There were some commentators locally who were questioning whether they were tanking it.

 

[MilfordHusky]

Yes. Just as you begin to get apoplectic over the child abusers, you can get relief by harking back to S&H Green Stamps.

Which works fine unless, of course, it reminds you of the guy in the raincoat who lurked near the redemption center.

You saw him too?

 

[JS]

You saw him too?

I WAS him.

 

[Biff]

I WAS him.

Remember this JS? Circa 2005 as best I can tell. Hmmm. A pattern is forming.

 

[JS]

Remember this JS?

I remembered it well, but couldn't find a copy.

Personalized items are always classy.

 

[MilfordHusky]

I WAS him.

Now THAT is scary! I suppose you were looking for a little redemption.

 

[JS]

Now THAT is scary! I suppose you were looking for a little redemption.

I figured the redeemers could use a flash of inspiration.

 

[Icebear]

I figured the redeemers could use a flash of inspiration.

Sorry, but there is no redemption for any of this.

 

[Vowelguy]

Sorry, but there is no redemption for any of this.

Ironic coming from a minister.

 

[Icebear]

Ironic coming from a minister.

Exactly.