In there a pattern or trend among the abuse cases at Nebraska, Duke and Loyola?

[KnightBridgeAZ]

I was abused EVERYWHERE!!! In first grade the made me clean up the floor when someone urinated in the class room (me). Told my Mom and she swatted by sit down.
In 8th grade I was expelled for a week--I told that girl not to tell-- told Dad, then Dad winked then swatted my sit down.
In Boot camp the D.I. picked on me relentlessly--yelled, used dirty words, said somethings I didn't understand about my heritage-lineage--etc. Told Dad and he said--yep, they did the same thing to me..
Why is I couldn't sue any of those abusers??
I guess abuse is in the way you see things--then as well as now. Just because you SAY abuse does not mean (in every case) that abuse occurred

Sort of the point I was making. I have no doubt my gym teachers were trying to get some effort out of me. And the more they yelled and called me names, the less effort they got.

That all change in 11th grade, when I got a gym teacher (and ex military officer) who discovered that I actually liked sports - I just lacked talent at most of them, and was a bit lazy and a non-athlete. He challenged me to be better without calling me a "lard ass" or making songs up about my name or screaming that I was dragging the whole gym class squad down. He put me in place to have some success and when other students picked on me (as they had for years) he took issue with it. Actually made me partner one of them and we worked together and were the best team at what we had to do. My grade for all of those years of "abuse" was a "D" - my senior year under this teacher - I got an "A".

Some respond to the "tough love" and some don't. I didn't.

 

[DaddyChoc]

Sort of the point I was making. I have no doubt my gym teachers were trying to get some effort out of me. And the more they yelled and called me names, the less effort they got.

That all change in 11th grade, when I got a gym teacher (and ex military officer) who discovered that I actually liked sports - I just lacked talent at most of them, and was a bit lazy and a non-athlete. He challenged me to be better without calling me a "lard ass" or making songs up about my name or screaming that I was dragging the whole gym class squad down. He put me in place to have some success and when other students picked on me (as they had for years) he took issue with it. Actually made me partner one of them and we worked together and were the best team at what we had to do. My grade for all of those years of "abuse" was a "D" - my senior year under this teacher - I got an "A".

Some respond to the "tough love" and some don't. I didn't.

thanks for sharing your story.

no 2 people are alike

 

[HuskyNan]

I get the sense that the thread is trending towards blaming the players at the various schools mentioned in the OP. We have no information on exactly what happened. Rarely are things so black and white as to be all one person's "fault" so perhaps judgments should be withheld until the final determination is made. The complaints could be due to the behavior of the coach or other factors brought up in the articles and thread, or a combination of factors.

 

[TFintheMix]

Sort of the point I was making. I have no doubt my gym teachers were trying to get some effort out of me. And the more they yelled and called me names, the less effort they got.

That all change in 11th grade, when I got a gym teacher (and ex military officer) who discovered that I actually liked sports - I just lacked talent at most of them, and was a bit lazy and a non-athlete. He challenged me to be better without calling me a "lard ass" or making songs up about my name or screaming that I was dragging the whole gym class squad down. He put me in place to have some success and when other students picked on me (as they had for years) he took issue with it. Actually made me partner one of them and we worked together and were the best team at what we had to do. My grade for all of those years of "abuse" was a "D" - my senior year under this teacher - I got an "A".

Some respond to the "tough love" and some don't. I didn't.

Great story! The new gym teacher showed leadership which gets results. It wasn't you who failed it was the previous teacher.

 

[Vancat]

I'll throw another factor in there - parents. Today's helicopter parents think they're "standing up for" their children when they're really teaching them to be entitled and dependent on other people for their happiness. Anyone that stands between the child and whatever the child wants is loudly condemned.

About 10 years ago I worked part time in a middle school as an "office lady", keeping student attendance and sending out failure letters, etc. Parents, mostly moms, would call in and say their child was tired and needed a mental health day. After too many mental health days, I would inevitably have to send a letter to the parents saying their child was failing his classes. I would then get an irate phone call, demanding the teachers assign extra credit projects so the kid could catch up. Heaven forbid the child speak to the teacher and handle his own problems.

Another anecdotal story - my youngest was in the high school marching band. When the band members would get unruly, not pay attention, etc, the drum major would lead the entire band in laps, doing so until he or she got the desired behavior. The kids in the band never minded - they didn't know it but they were building a close, tight-knit team, the way a military unit might. However, in my son's senior year, a mother became outraged at seeing her son run laps but she didn't go to the drum major, the teacher, or the on-field instructors, oh no, she complained to the Board of Education that her son was being hazed. The drum major got written up for hazing and the laps were forbidden by the Board of Ed.

So, I expect these kids will go on to college and some professor or coach has to integrate the kid into their system. But the kid has grown up thinking that "it's all about them" and refuses to accept any form of correction or punishment. The kid isn't a bad person; he or she was just taught to think that way and it was reinforced over and over by the parents.

I'm not saying that that's what's happening at the schools where the complaints were filed because I have no inside knowledge whatsoever. But if a kid does feel that entitlement, it could mess with the team chemistry or make the coach's job more difficult. Just throwing it out there as another factor.

This is one of my hot buttons. I'm not a perfect parent, by any means, but I did try very hard not to hover. To see the young people that are incapable of speaking up for themselves, or who see correction as punishment instead of guidance, or who automatically reject anything that doesn't benefit them, it just breaks my heart. Those poor kids are destined to be unhappy in the long run.

Right on HuskyNan

 

[j66kicker]

Cate Soane, player who transferred from Loyola to UIC, speaks out about Swoops...

Ex-player details 'emotional abuse' by Swoopes

 

[RockyMTblue2]

Cate Soane, player who transferred from Loyola to UIC, speaks out about Swoops...

Ex-player details 'emotional abuse' by Swoopes

Same former player, different more detailed article and catch this. Remember this Loyola spokesperson is talking about 10 out of 12 leaving.

The Loyola athletic department has said it will investigate the new wave of allegations — “It is more than concerning,” deputy athletic director Jermaine Truax said in a statement — but responded to the postseason player exodus by denying it is a direct result of any misconduct on the part of Swoopes.

“Roster turnover is something that affects every NCAA school and is becoming more and more prevalent,” Truax said. “We are fully committed to helping our student-athletes find the right situation for them. We will have the best interest of the student-athlete in mind when it comes to transfer decisions.”

‘We need some protection’: Sheryl Swoopes’ ex-player speaks out

Translation: "Move along, nothing but same old same old here." Didn't work with the priest; ain't going to work for her.

 

[BroadwayVa]

Sort of the point I was making. I have no doubt my gym teachers were trying to get some effort out of me. And the more they yelled and called me names, the less effort they got.

That all change in 11th grade, when I got a gym teacher (and ex military officer) who discovered that I actually liked sports - I just lacked talent at most of them, and was a bit lazy and a non-athlete. He challenged me to be better without calling me a "lard ass" or making songs up about my name or screaming that I was dragging the whole gym class squad down. He put me in place to have some success and when other students picked on me (as they had for years) he took issue with it. Actually made me partner one of them and we worked together and were the best team at what we had to do. My grade for all of those years of "abuse" was a "D" - my senior year under this teacher - I got an "A".

Some respond to the "tough love" and some don't. I didn't.

I dislike the exceptional "tough love" I was raised to be obstinate--and dug my heals in deeper and deeper. I'm not sure "you are so wonderful we will give you all an academy award" approach works either. Me too for one year--in fourth grade I was teachers pet--and excelled in Math then--I always thought I had math blocker in my brain!!