OT: - Can you do what the pros do? | The Boneyard

OT: Can you do what the pros do?

Which do you think you'd be able to do? (If any)

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Jaydumo20

Jaydumo20

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Which of these do you think you could do?
NOT ACCIDENTALLY!
Yes, I know you could close your eyes, stick out your bat and make contact but this is about actually being confident in completing this task.
 
The only one with any chance would be scoring more than 3 points in a D1 basketball game. And the only chance of that is because the opposing team would leave me wide open and double someone else, and maybe I knock down two 3’s. If they actually played defense on me, no chance.
 
I'm confident I could lay down a bunt, play the intro to "Heart of the Sunrise," and wear a large pumpkin on my head for far longer than is necessary.
 
All of the above, given enough time and luck. One thing I doubt I could ever do is pole vaulting.
 
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This is actually a fun survey and the correct answer is not a chance. I think I'd be closest to tackling an NFL RB just on dumb luck of size and getting them to trip up when they bowl me over. But no one on this board is tackling an NFL RB in open space.
 
superjohn said:
The funniest would be watching any of us try and return a serve from a professional tennis player.
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As a kid I thought I was a pretty good tennis player and would play against my garage door and think I was Ivan Lendl. Talked a big game and challenged a friend of mine who had taken lessons and played competitively from toddler days. I could not return a single ball. Thus, my days of tennis came to a close.
 
I tried to list them from "easiest" to most difficult:

  • Make a legal tackle on an nfl running back - Basically, let him plow you into a month long intensive care stay.
  • Score more than 3 points in a D1 bball game - Get lucky with a 3 and maybe hit a FT? Or cherry pick at half court and sneak a layup 2 + a couple FT's??
  • Shoot +10 or less in a major golf tourney - What % of golfer are single digit handicaps? They have a shot. The 95% of the rest of us do not.
  • Score a goal in pro hockey - This assumes you have at least above average skating ability.
  • Score a goal in pro soccer - Considering pro games are 0-0, 1-0, 1-1 with the best in the world? Not likely at all.
  • Get a non-bunt hit in the majors - Unless you played at a minor league level, the rest of us may not foul a ball off in 1,000 tries.
  • Return a serve in Tennis - 140-145 mph? Not a chance. This is definitely the hardest of the lot.
 
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Deepster said:
I'm 57 years old. I would not come anywhere close to any of these and any of you in my age bracket who says you would? You're a liar.
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Yeah. even though I played college ball, when I was 58 I took swings in the Pirates batting cage and whiffed a ton even knowing what was coming and at only 70mph. Did foul off a few, but was way late.

Probably closest I could've done at any age was return a serve. I was never a very good tennis player, but I did play against some club pros in my late 20s and even won a handful of games over maybe 7-8 sets total vs club pros as I could boom serves myself. The best guy I played against was ranked somewhere between 250-300 around 1984/5. His wife and mine were friends so he humored me by letting me play him. If his 2nd serve was to my forehand, I had a shot at it. Doubt I could return a first serve rocket.

Zero chance at the others. Especially tackling an NFL RB. Even if I could catch and touch the guy, I'd end up in the hospital.
 
Last edited:
My friend was an offensive lineman in the NFL for 6 years or so. He's around 6'6 320. Met him through basketball when we were kids.

He was helping out with a track practice I was running right after he retired and we did a tackling competition at the end for fun. He--quite literally--threw our best shotputter almost completely over the pole vault mats. The kid was probably 250lbs.

It's hard to fathom how strong and athletic some people are. The only way you're pulling any of this off against pros is pure luck or completely forgoing any attempt to play good basketball/soccer/hockey and gunning.
 
Deepster said:
I tried to list them from "easiest" to most difficult:

  • Make a legal tackle on an nfl running back - Basically, let him plow you into a month long intensive care stay.
  • Score more than 3 points in a D1 bball game - Get lucky with a 3 and maybe hit a FT? Or cherry pick at half court and sneak a layup 2 + a couple FT's??
  • Shoot +10 or less in a major golf tourney - What % of golfer are single digit handicaps? They have a shot. The 95% of the rest of us do not.
  • Score a goal in pro hockey - This assumes you have at least above average skating ability.
  • Score a goal in pro soccer - Considering pro games are 0-0, 1-0, 1-1 with the best in the world? Not likely at all.
  • Get a non-bunt hit in the majors - Unless you played at a minor league level, the rest of us may not foul a ball off in 1,000 tries.
  • Return a serve in Tennis - 140-145 mph? Not a chance. This is definitely the hardest of the lot.
Expand ...

That's a pretty good run at the list.

The golf numbers are way off, 95% of scratch golfers couldn't shoot +10. Just watch the three majors where "average joe" amateurs have a chance- PGA, Open Championship and US Open. Hardly any of them can go +10 and that's after winning qualifying tournaments just to enter. No way a scratch golfer walks on to the first tee and does that.

The tennis one intrigues me because you just have to return it in play. Stand 25" beyond the end line and take a whack at it? Even just a quarter swing might be enough to get one over. Question to me is how many chances to do you get? Is this a full on 3 set men's match where the opponent has to serve 3-4 times a set and get four serves in each game? Chances go up. I say all this because my immediate thought was tennis sounds like the sucker bet an amateur thinks they could do, when in reality they have no shot.

The bottom three choices are like asking what's the highest value of infinity.
 
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boog204 said:
I'm confident I could lay down a bunt, play the intro to "Heart of the Sunrise," and wear a large pumpkin on my head for far longer than is necessary.
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I've been trying to play that for 30 years and it still doesn't sound quite right.
 
Chin Diesel said:
That's a pretty good run at the list.

The golf numbers are way off, 95% of scratch golfers couldn't shoot +10. Just watch the three majors where "average joe" amateurs have a chance- PGA, Open Championship and US Open. Hardly any of them can go +10 and that's after winning qualifying tournaments just to enter. No way a scratch golfer walks on to the first tee and does that.

The tennis one intrigues me because you just have to return it in play. Stand 25" beyond the end line and take a whack at it? Even just a quarter swing might be enough to get one over. Question to me is how many chances to do you get? Is this a full on 3 set men's match where the opponent has to serve 3-4 times a set and get four serves in each game? Chances go up. I say all this because my immediate thought was tennis sounds like the sucker bet an amateur thinks they could do, when in reality they have no shot.

The bottom three choices are like asking what's the highest value of infinity.
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Good summary. Especially the golf thing. That's spot on. They'd triple bogey the first hole and then fall apart.
 
Deepster said:
I tried to list them from "easiest" to most difficult:

  • Make a legal tackle on an nfl running back - Basically, let him plow you into a month long intensive care stay.
Expand ...
Are we talking a 1-on-1 open field tackle against and NFL RB? I’m not sure anyone on this board would even graze Jersey in that scenario. MAYBE if you were a weakside defender and cleaned it up after he was stopped at the line.
 
WhereistheDove? said:
Are we talking a 1-on-1 open field tackle against and NFL RB? I’m not sure anyone on this board would even graze Jersey in that scenario. MAYBE if you were a weakside defender and cleaned it up after he was stopped at the line.
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Even if three guys stood him up for me to take my shot, I'd still break my clavicle.
 
storrsroars said:
Especially tackling an NFL RB. Even if I could catch and touch the guy, I'd end up in the hospital
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I was thinking this as well. First, I would need the guy to basically run into me trying to elude other players and second, if that did happen, it would not end well for me regardless of whether or not I got the tackle.
 
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Chin Diesel said:
That's a pretty good run at the list.

The golf numbers are way off, 95% of scratch golfers couldn't shoot +10. Just watch the three majors where "average joe" amateurs have a chance- PGA, Open Championship and US Open. Hardly any of them can go +10 and that's after winning qualifying tournaments just to enter. No way a scratch golfer walks on to the first tee and does that.

The tennis one intrigues me because you just have to return it in play. Stand 25" beyond the end line and take a whack at it? Even just a quarter swing might be enough to get one over. Question to me is how many chances to do you get? Is this a full on 3 set men's match where the opponent has to serve 3-4 times a set and get four serves in each game? Chances go up. I say all this because my immediate thought was tennis sounds like the sucker bet an amateur thinks they could do, when in reality they have no shot.

The bottom three choices are like asking what's the highest value of infinity.
Expand ...
Back in the day, my wife was a decent tennis player and whenever she wanted to score a point, she would just hit right to me essentially jamming me up. Now, the easy thing to do would be for me to take a step back, but she knew that if a ball was coming towards me quickly, my mind was wired too stay in the box and try to foul it off.
 
At 22, maybe score in a D1 game (you didn't say high major). I scored a few buckets in games against teams that had multiple D1 players and at summer camps etc., and was a decent shooter even though I was slower than molasses.

Now, at 47? Not a chance.

And return a serve from a pro tennis player? Unless you were good enough to play in college you're kidding yourself.

I suppose a younger guy who was an upper level high school hitter could maybe get a hit against a big league pitcher with enough chances. They'd probably go 1-30 or something.
 
WhereistheDove? said:
Are we talking a 1-on-1 open field tackle against and NFL RB? I’m not sure anyone on this board would even graze Jersey in that scenario. MAYBE if you were a weakside defender and cleaned it up after he was stopped at the line.
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storrsroars said:
Even if three guys stood him up for me to take my shot, I'd still break my clavicle.
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CL82 said:
I was thinking this as well. First, I would need the guy to basically run into me trying to elude other players and second, if that did happen, it would not end well for me regardless of whether or not I got the tackle.
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Now you are getting in to the nuance between making a tackle and being credited with a tackle in the box score. And I'm confident where all of us would end up being categorized between the two acts.
 
WhereistheDove? said:
Are we talking a 1-on-1 open field tackle against and NFL RB? I’m not sure anyone on this board would even graze Jersey in that scenario. MAYBE if you were a weakside defender and cleaned it up after he was stopped at the line.
Expand ...

Even then I think you'd be overestimating your own strength/athleticism unless you're a 20-something in great shape and/or a former high level athlete. Most middle aged dudes would blow out their hamstring and then get stiff armed into Bolivian if they could even get within 3 feet of a running back. We randomly stayed at the same hotel as the Cal football team a few weeks ago and their running back, Jaydn Ott, was on our floor. I'm laughing at the idea of trying to tackle this dude in any situation other than one where someone already has his legs wrapped up and I just have to fall on top of him, let alone someone like Derrick Henry.

The only one that seems remotely conceivable is the hoop thing, which would be a hell of a lot more attainable if it was any points because after one lucky three you're probably getting locked up. I just think about how overmatched Andrew Hurley looks when he's in against starters and then reduce the athleticism by about 70%.
 
CL82 said:
Back in the day, my wife was a decent tennis player and whenever she wanted to score a point, she would just hit right to me essentially jamming me up. Now, the easy thing to do would be for me to take a step back, but she knew that if a ball was coming towards me quickly, my mind was wired too stay in the box and try to foul it off.
Expand ...
Footwork and anticipation is everything in tennis. I played a ton in my 20s and while I had a piss poor volley game, I could spin a 95mph serve in the box quite often (at least that's what the speed tracker machine at the US Open said), giving me a chance to score points against much better players. But the end of my interest in tennis was in my mid-30s when I played this chunky girl I worked with. I thought I was doing her a favor agreeing to play as there was nothing the least bit athletic looking about her. But I could not get a shot past her. It was like she knew where every ball was going before I hit it. And it was extremely humiliating. Lost in straight sets, even dropping one set 6-0. Basically quit after that.
 
superjohn said:
The funniest would be watching any of us try and return a serve from a professional tennis player.
Expand ...

Done, but it was a long time ago. Wood racquets.
 
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