BY Joke of the Day (Golfers)

[mauconnfan]

One day a young woman had just started playing her round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.

Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, 'Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?'

'I was stung by a bee', she said.

'Where?', he asked.

'Between the first and second hole', she replied.

He nodded knowingly and said, 'Then your feet were too far apart.'

 

[uconnfan68]

One day a young woman had just started playing her round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.

Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, 'Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?'

'I was stung by a bee', she said.

'Where?', he asked.

'Between the first and second hole', she replied.

He nodded knowingly and said, 'Then your feet were too far apart.'

bada bing, bada boom

 

[ZenConn]

HA! Golf season is right around the corner boys!

 

[mauconnfan]

I went to the simulators in Canton to play Pebble Beach a couple weeks ago I was so desperate. Not a fan but nice to swing and a bar right there too........pitchers and golf sweet.

Heading to Delaware/OC to play with a bunch of guys from work end of the month - chomping at the bit

 

[SirHypeAlot]

Hahaha classic. Can't wait for golf season. My buddies and i booked a tee time for opening weekend at Trump's new course in the Bronx. Looking forward to it!

 

[J-dog]

Reminds me of the time my friends father got hit by an errant shot from another golfer (true story)…

Guy that plucked him comes running over & says, "did I hit you on the fly"? my friends father replies, "no, you caught me on the shoulder"…

 

[jleves]

Reminds me of the time my friends father got hit by an errant shot from another golfer (true story)…

Guy that plucked him comes running over & says, "did I hit you on the fly"? my friends father replies, "no, you caught me on the shoulder"…

Best hit by a golf ball true story I've ever heard: A friend of mine was in the backseat of a car going by a golf course when a very errant shot hooked through his open window clocking him in the head and just about knocking him out. He was doubly pissed because it ricocheted back out the window and didn't get to keep the ball or prove to the others in the car why he was laid out in the back seat.

 

[UConnKev]

I've been going to Chris Cote's to get my fix. Place was mobbed over the weekend. Can't wait to get out!

 

[Edward Sargent]

Four golf buddies planned a trip to St. Andrews. Just before they were to go one of the buddies tells the others his wife won't let him go. The threesome take off for St Andrews a few days later only to find their fourth waiting at the bar with four pints already drawn.

"What happened we thought you couldn't make the trip?"

"Well the other night my wife came up behind me wearing a peek-a-boo night gown puts her hands over my eyes and whispers I feel bad I said you couldn't go golfing with your buddies. So she dragged me into the bedroom. She had been reading 50 Shades of Grey and handed me handcuffs and asked me to handcuff her to the bed which I did. She then said now you can do anything you want - so here I am!!

 

[dogpause]

A group of golfing buddies, all in their 40's, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because it wasn't far from the course, the waitresses were young, good looking, showed lots of cleavage and wore short-shorts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the golfing buddies once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the food and service was good, they had many televisions to watch the games on, and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the gang again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace, and it was good value for the money.

Ten years later, at age 70, they discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because they had never been there before.