While student sensibilities have changed over the last few decades those changes do not tell the full story. I think there are other factors at play. I think many (most?) athletes expect and like to be coached hard, particularly those competing at a high level. What I think many coaches miss is that you need the student athlete's buy-in to a greater degree than in the past. How and to what degree you get their buy-in dictates the degree to which you can push them without major complaint. The way you get their buy-in to be pushed harder than they can imagine is by:
1) establishing a positive culture around your work "this is how we do it here and that makes us better/the best". We have heard Geno and CD and staff talk about UConn players and the expectations in everything from the effort they practice with every day, to their willingness to work hard, to the way they dress and present themselves and more. There is a UConn culture and you must buy into it;
2) showing that that your methods will help produce the results the athlete is looking for (winning, self-improvement, self-esteem). UConn certainly has the history of greatness to point to;
3) at least occasionally showing a sense of humor and self-depreciating moments. We have witnessed Geno's willingness to dance in front of the team or skip around the gym on his birthday. We have seen players ruffle his hair during a press conference or publicly imitate or make fun of him. I think this is crucial. It doesn't have to happen a lot but it is important;
4) allowing students to come to you (and providing other outlets) to complain/blow-off steam;
5) being willing to explain your methods and your madness. We have seen Geno gather the team in a circle to explain what is going on and the challenges they will face, etc. His ability to accurately predict what lies ahead (without hyperbole) and how to meet that challenge is masterful;
6) being honest with the athletes. Don't over promise or over praise. Let them know where they stand and how they can get more of what they want;
7) making sure the student athlete knows you care about them, you are in this with them and this is being done for them. We have heard Geno say that much of the joy of his work, year-in and year-out, is helping each class of student achieve a national championship or "go out the right way". How many times have we heard Geno and CD say that they ask their athletes what it is they want and once they are told ("win national championships" or "make All American" or simply "get better") that gives them the license to push them hard and harken back to that desire because this hard work is to help them get what they want.
In my view, Geno "gets away" with saying the direct, biting, sarcastic, sometimes over the top things to his team because he has established a winning culture that past experience has proved out and past players come back and vouch for.