JS
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This thread has remarkable legs. Closing in on 200 comments and 10,000 views. That's some effective trolling.
Gus's post in another thread got me to thinking – what makes for effective trolling? What are the secrets of world class trolls?
Obviously, it takes not only talent but hard work. You can’t expect just to jump out there and have everybody say, “Eek, that’s the trolliest poster I’ve ever seen.”
No, you need to recognize that you can always improve your game, no matter how good you are.
Which brings us to good coaching. In that spirit we offer the following ABCs of effective trolling.
A. Take a position that’s unpopular among the group you’re addressing – or that most people will think is just plain wrong.
B. Make sure it’s not a position that can easily be refuted.
(1) Preferably provide no supporting facts for your position.
(2) But if you must, provide "facts" that are superficial – inadequate sample, apples and oranges, ambiguities, unsourced or vaguely attributed rumors, etc.
(3) Be sure the people who know the truth about your position (e.g. the coaching staff) can’t and/or won’t disclose it publicly.
(2) But if you must, provide "facts" that are superficial – inadequate sample, apples and oranges, ambiguities, unsourced or vaguely attributed rumors, etc.
(3) Be sure the people who know the truth about your position (e.g. the coaching staff) can’t and/or won’t disclose it publicly.
C. Put your questionable position in the headline of a new thread. You don’t want it to get lost amidst people saying sensible things. Let it glare out at everybody who looks at the board.
D. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Don’t be a one and done. Remember, you want to be like a small hammer tapping people's heads. And you want to attract the ones who won’t move their heads (i.e. hit Ignore), but will say “Stop that, you stupid hammer. You’re an ignorant fool to keep hitting our heads.”
E. You should be at least a little obnoxious -- better yet, more than a little. Try the following:
(1) Adopt a martyrish tone. “Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?” [Your cue, Meyers]
(2) Complain that dissenting opinion isn’t allowed on this board.
(3) Use outlandish language to the extent you can get away with it. Never, ever, allow as how you may be wrong, or other people’s opinions may be valid. Use IMHO only if you don’t know what it means or think the H stands for “hubristic.”
(4) In which vein, justify your position by claiming to be a huge expert. Don’t worry, you’re anonymous. People won’t know you’re that guy who gets thrown out of arenas for being drunk, sitting in other people’s seats and muttering “Who am I? Where am I? Is this roller derby?”
Take these elements, stir carelessly, and you’re on your way to being a top flight troll. That’s good coaching . . . IMHO.(2) Complain that dissenting opinion isn’t allowed on this board.
(3) Use outlandish language to the extent you can get away with it. Never, ever, allow as how you may be wrong, or other people’s opinions may be valid. Use IMHO only if you don’t know what it means or think the H stands for “hubristic.”
(4) In which vein, justify your position by claiming to be a huge expert. Don’t worry, you’re anonymous. People won’t know you’re that guy who gets thrown out of arenas for being drunk, sitting in other people’s seats and muttering “Who am I? Where am I? Is this roller derby?”