Trolling: A Primer

[JS]

This thread has remarkable legs. Closing in on 200 comments and 10,000 views. That's some effective trolling.

Gus's post in another thread got me to thinking – what makes for effective trolling? What are the secrets of world class trolls?

Obviously, it takes not only talent but hard work. You can’t expect just to jump out there and have everybody say, “Eek, that’s the trolliest poster I’ve ever seen.”

No, you need to recognize that you can always improve your game, no matter how good you are.

Which brings us to good coaching. In that spirit we offer the following ABCs of effective trolling.

A. Take a position that’s unpopular among the group you’re addressing – or that most people will think is just plain wrong.

B. Make sure it’s not a position that can easily be refuted.

(1) Preferably provide no supporting facts for your position.

(2) But if you must, provide "facts" that are superficial – inadequate sample, apples and oranges, ambiguities, unsourced or vaguely attributed rumors, etc.

(3) Be sure the people who know the truth about your position (e.g. the coaching staff) can’t and/or won’t disclose it publicly.​

C. Put your questionable position in the headline of a new thread. You don’t want it to get lost amidst people saying sensible things. Let it glare out at everybody who looks at the board.

D. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Don’t be a one and done. Remember, you want to be like a small hammer tapping people's heads. And you want to attract the ones who won’t move their heads (i.e. hit Ignore), but will say “Stop that, you stupid hammer. You’re an ignorant fool to keep hitting our heads.”

E. You should be at least a little obnoxious -- better yet, more than a little. Try the following:

(1) Adopt a martyrish tone. “Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?” [Your cue, Meyers]

(2) Complain that dissenting opinion isn’t allowed on this board.

(3) Use outlandish language to the extent you can get away with it. Never, ever, allow as how you may be wrong, or other people’s opinions may be valid. Use IMHO only if you don’t know what it means or think the H stands for “hubristic.”

(4) In which vein, justify your position by claiming to be a huge expert. Don’t worry, you’re anonymous. People won’t know you’re that guy who gets thrown out of arenas for being drunk, sitting in other people’s seats and muttering “Who am I? Where am I? Is this roller derby?”
​

Take these elements, stir carelessly, and you’re on your way to being a top flight troll. That’s good coaching . . . IMHO.

 

[Orangutan]

I only regret that I have but one like to give for this post.

 

[j66kicker]

Question: Do baby trolls look pretty much like the grownups, or do they take another form when they're first hatched (like little orange tadpoles for instance)?

(I've been wanting to ask this directly to a particular actual troll, but restraining myself, as it is probably just more troll food)

 

[meyers7]

(1) Adopt a martyrish tone. “Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?” [Your cue, Meyers]

​

​

For your viewing pleasure

 

[meyers7]

(1) Adopt a martyrish tone. “Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?” [Your cue, Meyers]

​

​

Or maybe Mario

 

[ThisJustIn]

That's a nice little rubric you've created there, JS! I see how it might be used to fairly assess trolls...

 

[meyers7]

That's a nice little rubric you've created there, JS! I see how it might be used to fairly assess trolls...

Part of their Moderator Training Program. MTP.

 

[BroadwayVa]

Gus's post in another thread got me to thinking – what makes for effective trolling? What are the secrets of world class trolls?

Obviously, it takes not only talent but hard work. You can’t expect just to jump out there and have everybody say, “Eek, that’s the trolliest poster I’ve ever seen.”

No, you need to recognize that you can always improve your game, no matter how good you are.

Which brings us to good coaching. In that spirit we offer the following ABCs of effective trolling.

A. Take a position that’s unpopular among the group you’re addressing – or that most people will think is just plain wrong.

B. Make sure it’s not a position that can easily be refuted.

(1) Preferably provide no supporting facts for your position.

(2) But if you must, provide "facts" that are superficial – inadequate sample, apples and oranges, ambiguities, unsourced or vaguely attributed rumors, etc.

(3) Be sure the people who know the truth about your position (e.g. the coaching staff) can’t and/or won’t disclose it publicly.​

C. Put your questionable position in the headline of a new thread. You don’t want it to get lost amidst people saying sensible things. Let it glare out at everybody who looks at the board.

D. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Don’t be a one and done. Remember, you want to be like a small hammer tapping people's heads. And you want to attract the ones who won’t move their heads (i.e. hit Ignore), but will say “Stop that, you stupid hammer. You’re an ignorant fool to keep hitting our heads.”

E. You should be at least a little obnoxious -- better yet, more than a little. Try the following:

(1) Adopt a martyrish tone. “Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?” [Your cue, Meyers]

(2) Complain that dissenting opinion isn’t allowed on this board.

(3) Use outlandish language to the extent you can get away with it. Never, ever, allow as how you may be wrong, or other people’s opinions may be valid. Use IMHO only if you don’t know what it means or think the H stands for “hubristic.”

(4) In which vein, justify your position by claiming to be a huge expert. Don’t worry, you’re anonymous. People won’t know you’re that guy who gets thrown out of arenas for being drunk, sitting in other people’s seats and muttering “Who am I? Where am I? Is this roller derby?”
​

Take these elements, stir carelessly, and you’re on your way to being a top flight troll.

That’s good coaching . . . IMHO.

JS----Why are you picking on me again?? Reading this everyone know of whom you write!! Your pointing to me was a bit over the top.
You as well as ALL Bone Yarders know Geno really hates coaching GIRLS!!!

Beside that Mother always like you best!!
I won't sign this cuz I don't what you to know who it is..

 

[BroadwayVa]

Part of their Moderator Training Program. MTP.

MTP???? I thought like Topsy they just growed..

 

[HoopsHoppy]

Gus's post in another thread got me to thinking – what makes for effective trolling? What are the secrets of world class trolls?

Obviously, it takes not only talent but hard work. You can’t expect just to jump out there and have everybody say, “Eek, that’s the trolliest poster I’ve ever seen.”

No, you need to recognize that you can always improve your game, no matter how good you are.

Which brings us to good coaching. In that spirit we offer the following ABCs of effective trolling.

A. Take a position that’s unpopular among the group you’re addressing – or that most people will think is just plain wrong.

B. Make sure it’s not a position that can easily be refuted.

(1) Preferably provide no supporting facts for your position.

(2) But if you must, provide "facts" that are superficial – inadequate sample, apples and oranges, ambiguities, unsourced or vaguely attributed rumors, etc.

(3) Be sure the people who know the truth about your position (e.g. the coaching staff) can’t and/or won’t disclose it publicly.​

C. Put your questionable position in the headline of a new thread. You don’t want it to get lost amidst people saying sensible things. Let it glare out at everybody who looks at the board.

D. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Don’t be a one and done. Remember, you want to be like a small hammer tapping people's heads. And you want to attract the ones who won’t move their heads (i.e. hit Ignore), but will say “Stop that, you stupid hammer. You’re an ignorant fool to keep hitting our heads.”

E. You should be at least a little obnoxious -- better yet, more than a little. Try the following:

(1) Adopt a martyrish tone. “Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?” [Your cue, Meyers]

(2) Complain that dissenting opinion isn’t allowed on this board.

(3) Use outlandish language to the extent you can get away with it. Never, ever, allow as how you may be wrong, or other people’s opinions may be valid. Use IMHO only if you don’t know what it means or think the H stands for “hubristic.”

(4) In which vein, justify your position by claiming to be a huge expert. Don’t worry, you’re anonymous. People won’t know you’re that guy who gets thrown out of arenas for being drunk, sitting in other people’s seats and muttering “Who am I? Where am I? Is this roller derby?”
​

Take these elements, stir carelessly, and you’re on your way to being a top flight troll. That’s good coaching . . . IMHO.

Almost perfect - but an added touch is to cite relationships to known experts and their recognition of the "troller" as premier in the field being explored. That "guarantees" acceptance of the observations as FACT

 

[DobbsRover2]

All good points, but you're describing the obvious tiresome trolls who finally get ignored after everyone decides that responding to lame stupidities no longer is any fun or has any point to it. Many of them stick to one issue and claim to be longtime and knowledgeable fans of a team, but there's a smell that gives them away. And if you are troll trawler and visit other teams' sites, you will often discover that your new troll has duplicate over there that states nasty stuff about your team while bending it in slightly less hostile messages on your own site and maybe even pretending to be "a real fan of those Lady Huskies" on your own site.

Now the really effective troll is the one who sets himself up on a site and provides infuriatingly rational and discomforting facts to the other posters that makes them go monkey-doodoo. He will also learn to become adept at trying to comfort them about their team's failures and the flaws of their coach, but will also make sure to keep harping on any future worries for the team. Not naming anybody particular on any site (and there are good trolls just as there are evil ones), but if I were to settle back in my chair and plan out a campaign to be a highly effective troll, that's what I would do.

 

[triaddukefan]

 

[Dillon77]

All good points, but you're describing the obvious tiresome trolls who finally get ignored after everyone decides that responding to lame stupidities no longer is any fun or has any point to it. Many of them stick to one issue and claim to be longtime and knowledgeable fans of a team, but there's a smell that gives them away. And if you are troll trawler and visit other teams' sites, you will often discover that your new troll has duplicate over there that states nasty stuff about your team while bending it in slightly less hostile messages on your own site and maybe even pretending to be "a real fan of those Lady Huskies" on your own site.

Now the really effective troll is the one who sets himself up on a site and provides infuriatingly rational and discomforting facts to the other posters that makes them go monkey-doodoo. He will also learn to become adept at trying to comfort them about their team's failures and the flaws of their coach, but will also make sure to keep harping on any future worries for the team. Not naming anybody particular on any site (and there are good trolls just as there are evil ones), but if I were to settle back in my chair and plan out a campaign to be a highly effective troll, that's what I would do.

...these facts can include worthless rankings to support a fact, or counterpoints to other worthless rankings raised in rebuttal. But perhaps the kicker is the smug compliment after all this. "However, Kudos for the effort. Appreciate the insight, as it was...."

 

[tomcat]

Trolliest? Really?

 

[JS]

Trolliest? Really?

Yes. It means trollier than thou.

 

[RockyMTblue2]

That was a 4 troll trollishness lesson. They are best left in their dank lairs under some out of the way bridge IMO, but some like to poke and prod them.

 

[Nuyoika]

Yes. It means trollier than thou.

I swear if I wasn't a UConn fan... I'd troll here just for the great puns.

 

[Zorro]

I swear if I wasn't a UConn fan... I'd troll here just for the great puns.

Yup. The Boneyard is a very pungent site. Very pungent indeed.

 

[MilfordHusky]

Man, I thought this thread was going to teach me how to catch fish with nets.

 

[JRRRJ]

Yup. The Boneyard is a very pungent site. Very pungent indeed.

No, Piers Anthony is the pungent. (-iest?)