The worst coach you have personal experience playing for.

[M.S.G.]

I check this thread once an hour and pray

 

[Dogdeacon]

Coaching your own kids is rarely a good idea. Somebody's parent has to do it in youth sports, but it sure as hell won't be me.

Could not disagree more. Coaching my kids basketball teams has been one of the great unexpected joys of fatherhood. I played baseball mostly growing up & only caught basketball bug senior yr of HS and at UConn - so never expected to be more than an assistant coach.

It is more time with your children. It is mostly about the life lessons not the actual games/coaching. You and your child get to see each other interact in different environments to varying new situations, you also get to know their friends better. Sure there are some pitfalls but mostly the other co-coaching parents try to do the hard coaching children (ie. I coach their kids, they coach mine) to avoid any weird parent/coach crossover dynamics. And one can even combine passions, I see UConn out-of-bounds plays that I like and teach them to players!

I've done it with both with my children at lower talent end and at higher, the latter is harder but also naturally more fun. I've got two years left coaching my youngest son in travel basketball and there isn't much I enjoy more. I was emotional returning the equipment when my first 3-year stint coaching my oldest son ended, cannot imagine how hard it will be when coaching my youngest comes to an end.

 

[WhiteKnight]

What is the worst coach you have ever had to experience, either as a player or as a parent watching your kids play?

I was around Grade 4 or 5, just playing in your typical town grade school b-ball league for primary (grade school) children in Old Lyme. Nothing serious, right? This guy tried to teach us how to press and during games would yell at the top of his lungs until he was red in the face "Press! Press!" all game long, non-stop.

If we messed up he would start screaming, and I was scared of him, for sure. In hindsight, he had some anger issues. He would call players pansies and demean them if they had a turnover or missed a 50/50 loose ball.

I was one of the best players on the team and overall we were all naturally talented kids, one of the best teams in the league. I'd get 15 points or so, usually 6-10 rebounds, a few steals, maybe a block, 4 or 5 assists.

I was tall for my age but a little awkward and would sometimes miss a rebound or block so he would lay into me as if this was some HS championship or D1 UNI game. Looking back, it had living vicariously through his player's vibes going on, with this unhealthy obsession.

Second to last game we played the best team in the league, a team with two players who absolutely towered over our tallest guy by like 8-10 inches plus a super speedy guard, faster than anyone on our team.

They rolled through the league in a way that made Uconn's 2023 run look like child's play and we had gotten crushed earlier in the year, like every other team. They were undefeated, my team had one loss, to them.

But in our second matchup, 2nd to last game of the season, we had it within 4 with the ball with under a minute. They were absolutely shocked by the situation, I remember. I had one of my best games of the year but missed that shot that would have pulled it to within 2 (and we ended up losing by 4).

He benched me on the very last game of the year with a decent chunk of my family watching my game, largest crowd of the season. In a league where it was the RULE for everyone to have a certain amount of time each game, I think 20 minutes per game, I had ZERO in that game.

Guy was a complete lunatic who may very well have made Bob Knight blush with his profanity toward kids and seemed to have something against me for no reason. I don't think even Knight would yell at a bunch of Year 5 students the way he did!

Your stories?

What year was that? I may be mistaken, but didn't Jim Calhoun start his amazing career at Old Lyme High School?

 

[Chuck]

My high school varsity soccer coach. Nice guy, just couldn't coach. When I played on JV, we beat the varsity team about 1/3rd of the time and we had a much better record. The varsity coach kept bringing up the guys that scored in the scrimmage. He couldn't understand why they'd then struggle at the varsity level. He never figured out that it was because of how much better the JV coach was. When I was a senior on the varsity team, we were better, but it was because of the JV coaches training that we used in spite of the varsity coach.

The JV coach, on the other hand, was the best coach I ever had. English guy. Showed up for first practice in a suit. Got changed in his Porsche. Was a successful guy that just loved and missed soccer. Besides winning, he was just a better guy. We had a bad game against a rival. Had some defensive communication lapses. We came to practice the next day and lined up to run. Varsity coach was big on making you run after a bad game. He asked why we were lined up. We told him we thought we'd be running. He asked if we lost because we were out of shape. We said we lost because of a few stupid shapes. So he said, let's work on that.

 

[Hoophound]

Please, don't post your coach's actual name.

Even if it was Dom Perno?

 

[temery]

Even if it was Dom Perno?

he already knows what y'all think of him.

 

[WhereistheDove?]

Played goalie in youth hockey. Tried out for my home rink’s travel squad with two other goalies, one of whom was the son of one of the assistant coaches. I was significantly better than him and he spent the entire few days of tryouts just sitting on the ice or whining about them making him do any drills. Literally was just a petulant child for 2-3 days, while doing maybe 5% of what was asked of us. Got told they’d carry me as the backup goalie and immediately moved to the other rink in the area that was far less political.

I’m sure that kid is a really well-adjusted adult now.

 

[ucp990411]

Went to a high school with a great varsity program. Played freshman hoops for a coach who was a great baseball coach but couldn’t care less about basketball. We ran the same stack offense every possession all year. Won one game. Guy became the basketball coach for a couple of years and nearly killed the program

 

[storrsroars]

Myself.

I tried my hand at coaching our company's women's softball team. The men's team was extremely competitive and I was one of the better players. When during repeated practices where 3/4 of our infielders couldn't stop a grounder, I learned that while there's no crying in baseball, there is a lot of crying in softball.

 

[husky429]

Could not disagree more. Coaching my kids basketball teams has been one of the great unexpected joys of fatherhood. I played baseball mostly growing up & only caught basketball bug senior yr of HS and at UConn - so never expected to be more than an assistant coach.

It is more time with your children. It is mostly about the life lessons not the actual games/coaching. You and your child get to see each other interact in different environments to varying new situations, you also get to know their friends better. Sure there are some pitfalls but mostly the other co-coaching parents try to do the hard coaching children (ie. I coach their kids, they coach mine) to avoid any weird parent/coach crossover dynamics. And one can even combine passions, I see UConn out-of-bounds plays that I like and teach them to players!

I've done it with both with my children at lower talent end and at higher, the latter is harder but also naturally more fun. I've got two years left coaching my youngest son in travel basketball and there isn't much I enjoy more. I was emotional returning the equipment when my first 3-year stint coaching my oldest son ended, cannot imagine how hard it will be when coaching my youngest comes to an end.

It may have worked for you. I'm glad it did. It doesn't for many.

I've seen parents in youth sports play favorites, coach poorly, and verbally abuse their kids far too much to think it's a good idea. I've seen parents throw chairs, had coach/parents at AAU fight me, etc. Parents coaching in youth sports is a nightmare. A necessary evil, though because no one else is going to do it.

Kids learning from others is never a bad idea, either. There are many ways to do things and if you're serious about getting better, diversifying your inputs is a positive. I would much prefer my kids learn a different way at practice, and with different coaches in other leagues, than at home with me. And I'm saying that knowing I am a hell of a lot better skills coach than most high school coaches out there, let alone some dad who hasn't played in 20 years coaching a 5th-grade team.

 

[HuskyHawk]

Coaching your own kids is rarely a good idea. Somebody's parent has to do it in youth sports, but it sure as hell won't be me.

I had fun with it, but elementary/middle school girls basketball isn't exactly filled with super competitive types. All the coaches were parents. I became HC and my assistant (friend) was the father of our best player. She was the best player but needed to pass the ball and trust her teammates more. It was awkward at times.

And yes, I was the dad who hadn't played in 20 years coaching 5th graders.

 

[notthestuff]

Coaching your own kids is rarely a good idea. Somebody's parent has to do it in youth sports, but it sure as hell won't be me.

You say this now, as I did, but that will change once you see the jackals that end up coaching your kids. In my experience the people who struggle to coach their own kids have some of the same personality traits that would make someone mention them in this thread whether they are their parent or not. It's a challenge and you need to have a high level of self awareness but it's possible. It's also rare for kids to have competent coaches and If you are someone who actually knows what you are doing the experience is much more valuable for them and their teammates than having some random person who has no clue.

 

[husky429]

You say this now, as I did, but that will change once you see the jackals that end up coaching your kids.

I'll check back in in 8 years and give you an update. Definitely a good chance that happens. I get pretty frustrated with youth sports coaches not knowing what they're doing.

One of my favorite AAU memories is of a lovely father/coach who decided to punch me in the face because a player of mine stepped over his son after he fell. This was even after I benched the kid for the last 12 minutes of the game to make a point about sportsmanship.

 

[husky429]

I had fun with it, but elementary/middle school girls basketball isn't exactly filled with super competitive types. All the coaches were parents. I became HC and my assistant (friend) was the father of our best player. She was the best player but needed to pass the ball and trust her teammates more. It was awkward at times.

And yes, I was the dad who hadn't played in 20 years coaching 5th graders.

There is a weird amount of politics in elementary/middle school basketball. Way more than high school or AAU, honestly. It seems to get so personal. I don't envy you!

 

[MTBingNinja]

Morris Buttermaker

 

[Dogdeacon]

There is a weird amount of politics in elementary/middle school basketball. Way more than high school or AAU, honestly. It seems to get so personal. I don't envy you!

Yes, I posted then deleted something about 1 negative experience I had with someone else coaching my kid, unfortunately that's unavoidable. And all parents are naturally inclined to be most (sometimes only) interested in their own child's welfare and a select few don't really get the big picture about teaching life lessons, sacrifices of being on a team. But those are the exceptions, majority of kids & parents are great. My last year coaching my older son, I asked for and got 11 really nice recommendations from every parent on the team, which helped me continue to coach his younger siblings.

The Good and bad coaches are part of the life lessons. The world nowadays is kids aren't going to play sports on their own, so parents have created the monster of youth leagues & travel teams & that's is the sports option.
Better to embrace and try to make it a little better even if its on the margins.

There are horror stories that dominate conversations, but in most sports the parent coached team experience is good to average and FAR cheaper & just as good as non-parent coached sports at the youth level. One of my kids has played AAU basketball for easily 15+ different seasons now (fall, spring, summer etc) and the coaching & other issues there are as problematic as parent coaching yet it is always THREE times the cost.

 

[husky429]

Yes, I posted then deleted something about 1 negative experience I had with someone else coaching my kid, unfortunately that's unavoidable. And all parents are naturally inclined to be most (sometimes only) interested in their own child's welfare and a select few don't really get the big picture about teaching life lessons, sacrifices of being on a team. But those are the exceptions, majority of kids & parents are great. My last year coaching my older son, I asked for and got 11 really nice recommendations from every parent on the team, which helped me continue to coach his younger siblings.

The Good and bad coaches are part of the life lessons. The world nowadays is kids aren't going to play sports on their own, so parents have created the monster of youth leagues & travel teams & that's is the sports option.
Better to embrace and try to make it a little better even if its on the margins.

There are horror stories that dominate conversations, but in most sports the parent coached team experience is good to average and FAR cheaper & just as good as non-parent coached sports at the youth level. One of my kids has played AAU basketball for easily 15+ different seasons now (fall, spring, summer etc) and the coaching & other issues there are as problematic as parent coaching yet it is always THREE times the cost.

I'll post again in 10 years and update you on how it went

 

[Demo Square]

BK was the sickest coach I got to know well as a teenager!

One mid-60's hoops summer, I ran into the imposing 24-year old college coach BK at five of the basketball camps I attended. BK is a well-known, much disgraced, but one of the winningest coaches of all time.

Known for coaching the fundamentals of great one-on-one D I admit that his wisdom worked for me subsequently in my college & pro careers, I can't lie. I guess I was sick too because I signed up for every clinic tht BK put on at all those hoops camps, every year. And I had the bruises, loose teeth & bloody lips to attest to his personal teaching methods. He'd just beat you up. But to his credit, BK didn't mind if you threw an elbow or two back at him.

But this coach was such a militaristic-styled, screaming, punching, chair-throwing, out & out nutbag sadist, that he couldn't hide it. He completely abused the campers at these well-known PA-NY-NJ-Long Island camps every year. For that whole summer, he beat up kid after kid, berating many right up in their faces. That was coach BK!

The camps had two-week long sessions. On the final days, the parents were invited to see what they had paid for their sons' hoops education. At one PA camp, BK went off on everyone for the "lack of guts & effort by many you campers. So you all gotta pay the price!" He was snarling, not even tring to hide his brand of insanity or contempt.

So BK stopped all the games, & lined up everyone around the perimeter of a court for a "drill." When he blew his whistle, everyone had to run to the other side of the court at once - all ages at the same time. Any kid who got knocked down had to run laps for the next half hour. All this in front of the parents?!? Hundreds of kids! The other coaches looked worried. BK was one sick !

Needless to say, the younger kids were flung down all over the court after BK's "drill." I saw at least half a dozen parents lead their kids away from this sadist's madness towards their cars, some openly cursing out this "great coach" to his face. One incensed dad had to be restrained from kicking BK's . It took many other coaches to hold this large, strong man back. It was famous coach Butch van breda Kolff who hated how BK had treated that his young son Jan (later a good coach too).

Though BK became revered for winning, & won over 900 games in a long career, he also crapped out at every stop after that, his true sick nature following him everywhere (like when he infamously choked out that poor kid NR with the Hoosiers). Indefensible behavior.

I secretly smiled for decades whenever he failed spectacularly, remembering BK's crazy brand of sadism at those camps. And his legacy is completely tainted because of how he abused his players. Hard to defend what he did to his college players everyday at every stop in his career. Of course, the "win freaks" always get all Machiavellian about his record. (That's why JC largely gets a pass too for his abusive style - though nothing like BK's.)

Now, most of us kids in those 60's days were accustomed to the abusive style & constant yelling of WWII era coaches - it was natural & most of us responded well to that approach. But BK? That was the sickest coach I ever met. Everyone was afraid of him.

However, I did learn how to aggressively use one-on-one D as an offensive weapon against opponents. I am grateful to BK for the time & knowledge he gave to me. But he would physically punish a young kid while he was teaching him. As I said, BK is one sick coach.

Father Demo

 

[Hoophound]

he already knows what y'all think of him.

In fairness, I actually liked him a lot. He just wasn’t very good.

 

[runner11]

Probably my HS baseball coach who repeatedly cut this kid who would go on to become our only MLB alum.

 

[HCCForever]

So

So was your coach a very young James Calhoun? Didn’t he get his start coaching in Old Lyme

That was my thought as well

 

[HCCForever]

Dom Perno at South Catholic high and it’s not even close.

I went to South but before you. I had the two brothers who had much success in CT high school basketball and baseball. Younger brother was a bit of a nut but he was young and had recently ended tour in Vietnam. Obviously two of the best coaches I was ever associated with.

 

[Chin Diesel]

Back in the early 80's playing LL baseball.

I was probably a bit above average overall. Lefty, average stick, real good glove. No brainer to play me at first. I'd slide out to right field if needed since I was used to the right side of the diamond, I wouldn't let anything past me and had a good enough arm to reach cutoff with some decent pop.
Coach would bat me 5th or 6th. Didn't swing for the fences, just wanted line drives up the middle or to the left if they played a shift. Wasn't a threat to steal bases but a passed ball or wild pitch would move me over 60' .

Coach let me pitch one or twice. It wasn't much but whatever.

I had a coach.

I had three siblings in grade school and HS so it was rare to have both parents at the game. Sometimes neither one was there.

I'd have some pocket money for concessions.

Team was sponsored by the PACC. Polish American Citizen Club. All the kids called us Pigs and Cow Crap.

That wasn't much different than playing on TKBS which was Tea Kettle Baby Sitters.

That's it. Thanks for reading.

 

[husky99]

Sister A, Erie middle school catholic league. Told me to push to the ground anyone that could make a layup under the basket. I had the most Ts for the whole season in the league and fouled out of every game. We won 2 games all season.

 

[LBird33]

Any basketball team that had a dad coach and son on the team. It was brutal. The dad coached his kid and basically ignored the rest of us

 

[upstater]

I appreciated every coach I had for what they did with one exception. Had a guy who never said much and just scowled at everyone. To this day, I can't think of what he was doing.

The worst coach I've personally seen was my 10 year old child's club soccer coach from Spain. He was licensed by UEFA and in the US, he was still only in his mid to late 20s, but he used extreme psychology tactics on 10 year olds, like, "You have no athletic ability." "Stop eating chocolate." "No one likes you; you have no friends." He said this to various kids on the team. Once during a game, he told one of our kids to punch a kid in the face, because the ref refused to call fouls. I have 2 children, the younger one is a troublemaker. The older one never gets into trouble, she is exceedingly polite and caring. One day I watched her practice and I saw my 10 year old stick a reverse middle finger in her chest so he couldn't see it. "What was that all about?" I asked. He had said something incredibly vile. We switched clubs right away, it was still November , the season was 2 or 3 months old. I denounced the guy on the way out the door to all who would listen. He went on a tour of premier clubs in the region, let go by each and every club after a few years. And now he coaches for the local travel club where my kids started playing. He moved from Spain to the US to coach soccer and now finds himself in some deserved circumstances.

 

[QDOG5]

HS freshman basketball was the the best coach I ever had. I should have hung'em up then. JV bball was a terrible human being. Luckily I didn't play enough to incur his wrath. You know the crowd at JV games parents, grandparents and a few friends. This coach would f-bomb all his players and a few of us bench warmers would get kick out of the horrified faces of the parents. This guy would not be allowed to coach today. Practices for me were either getting verbally destroyed or totally ignored. The guy died of a heart attack at 43 a year later. They planted a tree in front of the school for him. I'm not proud of it in hindsight but me and few friends would help water that tree late on a weekend night.

 

[husky429]

HS freshman basketball was the the best coach I ever had. I should have hung'em up then. JV bball was a terrible human being. Luckily I didn't play enough to incur his wrath. You know the crowd at JV games parents, grandparents and a few friends. This coach would f-bomb all his players and a few of us bench warmers would get kick out of the horrified faces of the parents. This guy would not be allowed to coach today. Practices for me were either getting verbally destroyed or totally ignored. The guy died of a heart attack at 43 a year later. They planted a tree in front of the school for him. I'm not proud of it in hindsight but me and few friends would help water that tree late on a weekend night.

Late night watering seems well-deserved to me.

Coaching to this day is a place where has-beens (or never-beens) with anger issues find a home for whatever reason.

I can't recall a single time a coach insulted me or a teammate and we responded well.

 

[Umami Zen]

Parental politics at the youth level seem to be prevalent.. I reluctantly agreed to help coach a LL team that included my son who was an above average player--Not a superstar. I made sure he had the toughest position on the field--catcher--Didn't want any parents to feel I was giving him any breaks.

Live in a town where kids play multiple sports and go to camps to improve in their preferred (better) sports during the off-season. So. My clean up batter is in the on-deck circle.. We have a rally going on with the bases loaded and we're down two runs with one out. Batter gets on base and my clean-up batter approaches the batter's box when his father beckons him to the fence and firmly tells him its time to leave to go to hockey practice. I was stunned-no mention of this to me by the kid or the parents prior to his departure. We did win the game but it was then that I decided-in my one and only year as a coach-Things had changed and it wasn't for me under those conditions.

 

[Jmsdawg]

My second head coach in high school. That guys was a total nut. No water except for a wet towel we sucked on, full contact practices, playing our QB when he has concession, could not remember what to do on plays had to be told by second string QB what to do on every play. Worst guy I ever meet!