The 5 Stages of Grief and Loss

[sportsart]

I am trying to figure out what stage people on this board are at in the process and it appears to me most are vasilating back and forth between the first four stages. I am working on acceptance.

1) Denial and isolation

2) Anger

3) Bargaining

4) Depression

5) Acceptance

I have to believe that CR is not over therefor we will probably end up in the ACC. I have completely let go of the B1G invite as the only discussion of us going there comes from twitter nobodies. People with real connections are quiet so one must believe nothing major is going on. (After keeping the MD/Rutgers move quiet I gotta believe people are paying more attention)

I just wish we could stop feeding these twitter idiots with our threads about them. If you think about it they are just attention seekers who are laughing their asses off at us.

Besides, odds are one of the twitheads is probably Nelson. Yeesh.....

 

[WestHartHusk]

I have been lingering on anger for 18 months now. And I hate that acceptance is on your list . I see three stages:

1) General anger;

2) Specific hate directed at _______;

3) Belief that everyone else but you is stupid.

 

[SubbaBub]

This place has been at stage 4, since Louisville left for the ACC.

Sent from my MB860 using Tapatalk 2

 

[CTMike]

Quite frankly, and maybe this is denial (I prefer hope), but I'll never reach acceptance in our current conference.

 

[SAMCRO]

Apathy is 5A.
I became slightly less interested in college sports (unless UConn was involved) when Texas A&M and Mizzou moved to the SEC, Nebraska went B1G, and Colorado and Utah wnet P12. It didn't directly effect it UConn (although it was part of a chain of events that ultimately ended up effecting us), but it just bothered me.
With the SyraPitt, TCU, and WVU moves I became fully apathetic. Should good fortune shine on my beloved alma mater and we land in the B1G/B12/ACC I still expect to be apathetic towards college sports not involving UConn.

 

[Husky25]

There is no requirement that one must experience the 5 stages in order or for how long. Right now, I'm in Acceptance. If the next round of moves happen, I'll hop to Bargaining right quick.

 

[Limbo Land]

I am in apathy and acceptance but deep down I know I am in denial... probably since we haven't started the new league yet. Still Big East until the new name gets dropped on us.

 

[huskiesnyc]

I'm at 1, 2, 3 and 4. I will never accept this

 

[Chuck]

Like SAMCRO, above, I am fully at Apathy. I was stuck at 2/3 for a while. I said that I was done with college sports to start the 2012 college football season. Secretly, however, I watched and followed the CR stuff. Then came the RU/MD/UL stuff and I just gave up without any real conscious decision.

For the first time since 1989-90, I don't think I watched a single minute of non-UConn basketball. I watched most UConn games on TV and attended 2 (I live out of state so I don't get many opportunities). I didn't watch one second of the Big East tourney. I don't even think I'm going to watch the NCAA tourney unless it just happens to be on where I am.

College sports lost a sucker of a fan. I used to watch everything. I'd say it cost me points off my gpa at UConn, but I would've found something else to waste my time on. Even after having a family, I still watched a lot. I went to a few away games in my backyard in NJ/NY per year, and traveled to the occasional game, including the Houston Final Four. Now I'm gone. Even if UConn gets into the ACC/B1G, I will never get that fully back. My kids have Husky Fat Heads on their walls. They'll be fans, but not like they would've been. Oh well, it certainly freed up a lot of time to do other stuff.

 

[Rumrunner]

When you're in it to win it like Herbst is, there is no quarter. That means there is no acceptance because that implies defeat. That's why as a poster sagely suggested, the biggest fighter that UConn ever has had hasn't given up. When JC stops throwing hints, I'll join your psycho kumbaya. But forgive me for wanting to stand behind him while he's still fighting rather than succumbing to the general lassitude that has infected this board.

For me, I still believe that the Big Ten is not only a possibility, it increasingly looks inevitable.

 

[ZooCougar]

I am trying to figure out what stage people on this board are at in the process and it appears to me most are vasilating back and forth between the first four stages. I am working on acceptance.

1) Denial and isolation

2) Anger

3) Bargaining

4) Depression

5) Acceptance

I have to believe that CR is not over therefor we will probably end up in the ACC. I have completely let go of the B1G invite as the only discussion of us going there comes from twitter nobodies. People with real connections are quiet so one must believe nothing major is going on. (After keeping the MD/Rutgers move quiet I gotta believe people are paying more attention)

I just wish we could stop feeding these twitter idiots with our threads about them. If you think about it they are just attention seekers who are laughing their asses off at us.

Besides, odds are one of the twitheads is probably Nelson. Yeesh.....

I am more concerned with the things we can control. Like ditching this coaching staff and getting back to winning.

My biggest fear is devolving into a mediocre show in this new conference. Which is exactly where we are headed at the moment, unless something changes really soon.

 

[junglehusky]

When you're in it to win it like Herbst is, there is no quarter. That means there is no acceptance because that implies defeat. That's why as a poster sagely suggested, the biggest fighter that UConn ever has had hasn't given up. When JC stops throwing hints, I'll join your psycho kumbaya. But forgive me for wanting to stand behind him while he's still fighting rather than succumbing to the general lassitude that has infected this board.

For me, I still believe that the Big Ten is not only a possibility, it increasingly looks inevitable.

Classic denial.

But you know what, any stage is fine for fans, as long as it doesn't prevent them from buying tickets and supporting the program. I think for the leaders involved, they need to have a split personality where they can do a truthful assessment of the situation so they can address problems / shortcomings (maybe they needed better intel on the FSU / Louisville situation) but also be optimistic to keep things moving forward.

As far as me, I am slightly more optimistic than I was a couple months ago that UConn can do well for a ~5 year period, at which time hopefully we'll get invited somewhere. So I'm trying to be patient. I'm worried that the Cult of the Double-Secret B1G Invite will be faced with a Jonestown massacre situation if the invite doesn't arrive by this time next year. So yes, let's all stand behind JC, but be prepared to do that for a long time, just in case it takes longer than we're anticipating. And if the invite does come sooner, that'll make it more of a pleasant surprise and worth celebrating.

 

[John Greene]

If UConn finds a better place in the next 2-2 years it will be because of SH not JC. On balance JC has not been helpful. A winner and a great coach for sure but in the CR saga, not a big plus.

 

[businesslawyer]

I am trying to figure out what stage people on this board are at in the process and it appears to me most are vasilating back and forth between the first four stages. I am working on acceptance.

1) Denial and isolation

2) Anger

3) Bargaining

4) Depression

5) Acceptance

I have to believe that CR is not over therefor we will probably end up in the ACC. I have completely let go of the B1G invite as the only discussion of us going there comes from twitter nobodies. People with real connections are quiet so one must believe nothing major is going on. (After keeping the MD/Rutgers move quiet I gotta believe people are paying more attention)

I just wish we could stop feeding these twitter idiots with our threads about them. If you think about it they are just attention seekers who are laughing their asses off at us.

Besides, odds are one of the twitheads is probably Nelson. Yeesh.....

The 5 stages of grief and lose is appropriate for the Big East. It is gone and that truly sucks, no matter how this plays out for UConn.

Worrying about the 5 stages of grief and loss for us is way, way premature. Talk to me on June 30, 2014 (the day that Pitt and Syracuse originally were going to leave), but even discussing this new conference as a semi-permanent home before then is just silly.

 

[RMoore1999]

Depends how you define "Loss", I suppose.

For me, The Big East Conference was "lost" the day Cuse and Pitt announced they were leaving. That loss was/is sad, but I achieved "Acceptance" within in a few months following that announcement.

As for THE UNIVERSITY OF CONNECTICUT'S athletic future, NOTHING IS LOST (at least not yet). Realignment is probably half way through the 3rd quarter right now. I believe the likelihood that Connecticut escapes this cesspool of a conference for at least a watered down ACC, if not the B1G, approximates 99.0411%.

Patience is a precious and fleeting commodity, but its required if you support CONNECTICUT athletics. I fully recognize my view constitutes the minority perspective, but I believe the vast majority of Boneyard posters are simply too scarred emotionally to analyze the landscape objectively or merely get off on wallowing in the misery and negativity of many who post here.

 

[Limbo Land]

When you're in it to win it like Herbst is, there is no quarter. That means there is no acceptance because that implies defeat. That's why as a poster sagely suggested, the biggest fighter that UConn ever has had hasn't given up. When JC stops throwing hints, I'll join your psycho kumbaya. But forgive me for wanting to stand behind him while he's still fighting rather than succumbing to the general lassitude that has infected this board.

For me, I still believe that the Big Ten is not only a possibility, it increasingly looks inevitable.

I agree that Herbst needs to continue what she is doing which is make our university great overall. I will be holding judgement for at least one year to see if we can get out of this mess. Until then I say keep fighting. Manuel still seems to lacksidasical for my liking.

 

[metsfan2323]

I actually prefer the new football conference to the one we have been in and I don't think the basketball situation is as bad as everyone makes it out to be because I expect the new schools to double their efforts in basketball and I believe in Ollie.

Be miserable if you want but I think the future is bright for UCONN.

 

[Doggie Style]

I am trying to figure out what stage people on this board are at in the process and it appears to me most are vasilating back and forth between the first four stages. I am working on acceptance.

1) Denial and isolation

2) Anger

3) Bargaining

4) Depression

5) Acceptance

I have to believe that CR is not over therefor we will probably end up in the ACC. I have completely let go of the B1G invite as the only discussion of us going there comes from twitter nobodies. People with real connections are quiet so one must believe nothing major is going on. (After keeping the MD/Rutgers move quiet I gotta believe people are paying more attention)

I just wish we could stop feeding these twitter idiots with our threads about them. If you think about it they are just attention seekers who are laughing their asses off at us.

Besides, odds are one of the twitheads is probably Nelson. Yeesh.....

I think you should start your thread over on the Syracuse Board. They may need it after these sanctions come down on the Men's hoops team!!!!

 

[huskypantz]

What's the stage that includes heavy drinking? I'm on that stage.

 

[AZHuskiePop]

The thing that hurts is our leaders went from 1 to 5
We really never got the benifit from 2 ,3 and 4

 

[The Funster]

The cold, hard reality that college athletics is a sinkhole of integrity, where the farcical supercedes the logical, has become entrenched within my mind. Where that fits on the list is anyone's guess.

 

[J187Money]

I will worry about it when it becomes an actual problem instead of a potential problem. So I guess that leaves me in denial.

Much more concerned about who will play QB and if our OL can do its job this year.

 

[Fishy]

If we get through the summer of 2014 without the ACC being poached, I will skip all the stages of grief and enter whatever state of mind Nelson has been in for the past three months.

That would mean that the ACC has effectively closed ranks to expansion and we'd be stuck on the dark side of the moon.

 

[ConnHuskBask]

I actually prefer the new football conference to the one we have been in and I don't think the basketball situation is as bad as everyone makes it out to be because I expect the new schools to double their efforts in basketball and I believe in Ollie.

Be miserable if you want but I think the future is bright for UCONN.

Do you prefer your beer warm as well?

 

[CL82]

Looks like it is time to blow the dust off of:
The Seven Stages of Conference Realignment

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss of yet another conference member with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Belief in a secret plan that will bring UConn to the Big 10 is typical in this stage. This may last for weeks.
2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase. Expect very little productivity during this stage as reading the Boneyard replaces normal functions such as work, talking with your spouse and bathing.
3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay blame for the lack of a decent conference on someone else. Many choose Warde Manual or Jeff Hathaway. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion. You may rail against fate, questioning "Why UConn ?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will not complain about Syracuse’s cupcake basketball schedule anymore, if you just bring back the original Big East members.")
4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, and talk of “going independent in football” becomes the norm.
5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without a meaningful conference affiliation, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly. You actually start working at work again and your boss decides that he doesn’t need to fire you or upgrade the internet firewall.
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without a decent conference. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing your program, such as stadium expansion and focusing on third tier TV rights.
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages of conference realignment, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward, unfortunately that may involve trips to Amherst, but you will survive.