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Shea Ralph

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Phil

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I've substantially rewritten the Wikipedia article on Shea Ralph.

There's lots of room for improvement, anyone with any suggestions on material missing or with suggested improvements to wording is welcome to either make the changes, or let me know and I'll do it.
 
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Excellent job, Phil. Shea is one of my favorites. She always worked hard and played with great, positive emotion. These traits have followed her into coaching, making her one of the world's best.
 

pap49cba

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I second codger. It's very good of you to take the time to do this.
 

DoreBurt

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I've substantially rewritten the Wikipedia article on Shea Ralph.

There's lots of room for improvement, anyone with any suggestions on material missing or with suggested improvements to wording is welcome to either make the changes, or let me know and I'll do it.

Great article. I assume it is all true. LOL However , I think there is one small typo that you may want to correct: I believe in the quote below, you probably mean possession rather than position. Of course I could be wrong. It wouldn't be the first time.

A few minutes later she would score again, pushing her scoring total to eleven points on 4–4 shooting, along with six assist and three steals with over six minutes to go in the first half.[26] However, on her next position, she would drive to the basket and take a shot, twisting to avoid her defender
 

AllAmerRedHeads

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Great job Phil. How much do you enjoy doing these things? before our book comes out (shooting for end of fall for draft being done), would like to have a great wiki site for the RH's.

what you did is awesome for Shea
 

Phil

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Thanks John. I sent you an email re RH.
 
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Shea's other state records included:
Most steals in a season (251)
Most steals in a career (701)
Most points in a sophomore season (818)
Most points in a season by a junior (1,135)
Most points in a season by a senior (1,049)
Most points in a season (1,135)
Most points in a single game (61) *In this Regional Final game, she also had 16 steals, 11 assists, 8 rebounds, and only 2 turnovers
Per game average for career (33.0)
Consecutive 20 point games (50)
Field Goals in a season (426)
 
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Under coaching 2nd paragraph "The transition difficult". Presume you need a verb in the sentence. Hope you don't mind the nit-pick.
 

pap49cba

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Once again, great job.

Are you sure about the anorexia stuff? It may well have been common knowledge as I was working out of the country during Shea's years at Uconn but I was not aware of it. Is this something she would be comfortable with?
 

Phil

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I didn't add that material myself. (except for the anecdote involving Ellington) That said, it is a strong principle at Wikipedia that one cannot write an article in the same way the subject might want it, if there is material less than positive, but relevant and well-sourced it should be in. If there were good reasons to think it wasn't an important part of her life history, one could argue for its removal. However, it is well-sourced. As a fan I have to watch out for a potential bias in favor of positive aspects, so I am very cautious about removing material such as this without strong reasons.

An argument can be made that it should be mentioned once, not twice. If someone rewrote it that way, I wouldn't object. However, if someone removed it and someone else said it deserved to be in, I'd probably support the inclusion.
 

Phil

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Oh, and the Lori Riley article supporting much of the information was an award winning article, supporting the notion that this wasn't just a minor issue not worthy of inclusion.
 

Phil

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Under coaching 2nd paragraph "The transition difficult". Presume you need a verb in the sentence. Hope you don't mind the nit-pick.
That's exactly what I'm looking for. I don't think my experience is unique, but sometimes when I read something I've written, I can read what I intended to write, not what I actually wrote. I'm mortified when I reread something I wrote a year earlier and see a blunder in it, so nit pick away.

Of course, my real hope is that someone will remember reading a great story about her youth, or some incident at Uconn or Pitt that ought to be included, but I want it to be professional, and missing verbs do not contribute to a professional article. Thanks.
 

Zorro

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Ralph remained at Pittsburgh for five years, helping to turn a team with a losing record into a nationally ranked team.[37] Ralph remained at Pittsburgh for five years, helping to turn a team with a losing record into a nationally ranked team.

Phil. I think we have a redundancy here.

Also, In the seventh paragraph under College, I think you need a comma after "Buzzer" and a quotation mark after "played". Also, midway through that paragraph, you switch from present tense to past tense. I think it would read better if you used past tense throughout.

Same paragraph; typo; Ralph was less productive in the beginning of ehr senior season

Suggestion; In the following, you might consider changing this to read; ...Bird, but Shea would not return. (Or mebbe ...Bird, but Shea's career as a player was over.) Nevertheless, she was named to the All-tournament team.

UConn would go on to win the game on a buzzer beater by Sue Bird, but Ralph would be named to the All-tournament team.[29]

In the sixth line of that paragraph, "assist" needs to be plural.

As a suggestion, you might consider either eliminating the ninth paragraph of that section, or give it cloture by indicating how her battle with anexoria came out or stands currently. My feeling is that it would be better to just eliminate it as really unnecessary, especially if she is still having problems with it.

I would also suggest that you tack the one-line tenth paragraph onto the one-line eighth paragraph.

As I always tell my students, it is almost impossible to proof your own writing, because you almost always read what you intended to write rather than what you have actually written. Nice article.
.
 

Phil

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Ralph remained at Pittsburgh for five years, helping to turn a team with a losing record into a nationally ranked team.[37] Ralph remained at Pittsburgh for five years, helping to turn a team with a losing record into a nationally ranked team.

Phil. I think we have a redundancy here. Also, In the seventh paragraph under College, I think you need a comma after "Buzzer" and a quotation mark after "played". Also, midway through that paragraph, you switch from present tense to past tense.

Suggestion; In the following, you might consider changing this to read; ...Bird, but Shea would not return. Nevertheless, she was named to the All-tournament team.

UConn would go on to win the game on a buzzer beater by Sue Bird, but Ralph would be named to the All-tournament team.[29]

As I always tell my students, it is almost impossible to proof your own writing, because you almost always read what you intended to write rather than what you have actually written. Nice article.
.

Thanks, good catches, and exactly right.
 

Zorro

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Phil; I have edited my post about 10 times. There is more stuff there now.
 

mets1090

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From the end of the "Coaching Career" section...

"However, he did, and Ralph because an assistant at UConn in 2008.[38]"

Because = became
 

Phil

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From the end of the "Coaching Career" section...

"However, he did, and Ralph because an assistant at UConn in 2008.[38]"

Because = became
Got it, thanks.
 

Phil

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Phil; I have edited my post about 10 times. There is more stuff there now.

I think I got all but the suggestion about the anorexia paragraph. I would like to add something about cloture, but I have to find it. I'll see what I can find
 
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The 2009 at the end of paragraph one should be 2008. The date was 7 Jul 2008.
 

Phil

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good one. I had it right in the body
 

Phil

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From the end of the "Coaching Career" section...

"However, he did, and Ralph because an assistant at UConn in 2008.[38]"

Because = became

Fixed, thanks
 
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