Ketchup, ground turkey , turkey tenderloin, turkey sausage slider rolls , pickles
This is so bogus.
The original screed against turkey wasn't referring to anything close to ground turkey, turkey sausages, or any other way of making turkey palatable, especially to someone who finds it dry, flavorless, and otherwise offensive. Even deli turkey is usually pumped full of 'juices,' many of them unpronounceable, in an effort to liven things up.
You have look a little more closely (you know, actually care), but there are delis and restaurants that 'brag' about 'roasting their own' turkeys, if you don't want to do your own cooking. And yes, those are indeed the guys you want looking you in the eye when you say you're going to be putting ketchup on it. Anything else is a sham, as would be any version of ketchup that claims "it's so good you won't believe it's ketchup," or such. How does anybody not get this? This is the mojo!
It's not too late, and the stakes are high. Get the proper ingredients, and then shut up and eat the mojo sandwich, commie, not some little Marco version.