OT: Ketchup and Turkey help needed

[August_West]

OK.... a few things here.

1) I hate you people (and you are at the top of the list @Deepster, @Thirty Three , @CL82 @nomar @8893 @prankster @Dogbreath2U..... the hangman I see you all as the initial proponents of this travesty of justice, if I missed anyone, Im sorry, rest assured, I hate you too.) Oh and I forgot Fishy, I hate Fishy, well, just because.

2) Im going shopping today to buy this crap (took a half day from work, let me echo my early sentiment this is the harshest mojo verdict in the history of the yard, not only do I have to abuse myself with gross food, its costing me money out of my pocket) Im a delicate hothouse flower in my food and drink choices. I need some Artisinal grass fed Organic turkey recommendations. Also, who are the top small batch craft ketchup makers? I would prefer something made by a couple heavily bearded steampunk hipsters brewing that stuff out of a converted warehouse in Bushwick. Free trade a plus.

3) While I absolutely loathe this sentence (the commie post replies are wearing me down) and prefer to be on the other side of the mojo fence (incidentally where I have been devastatingly effective in aiding our cause over the years in my not so humble opinion) , I pledge to NOT be the guy that ruins mojo. I have accepted my fate and grudgingly embraced the punishment to appease the mojo gods................... this better work!

4) In reference to number 3. Hate it or not, If im in, Im in. I do not half ass the mojo, I want to whip the mojo into a frenzy that propels us to a title. To that end, if there is interest I am thinking about Periscoping my trip to the Market this afternoon. I am willing to take the Yard shopping with me via live video stream. I may even let you guys help me make turkey and ketchup choices in real time via the comments on the stream. It would possibly be breaking new ground in 21st century mojo techniques. I would like to think the mojo gods take kindly to mojo innovations.

Any interest?

thinking about 2 pm. If there is interest I will put periscope link in this thread.

Otherwise please leave you suggestions for item number 2 in this thread.

Oh, and screw you.

 

[8893]

tl;dr

Shut up and eat the Mojo sandwich, commie!

 

[sdhusky]

 

[prankster]

Shut up and eat the Mojo sandwich, commie!

 

[Penfield]

Shut up and eat the Mojo sandwich, commie!

 

[prankster]

Here you go, commie.

I hope it is expensive!

Maybe you can get the Bernie Sanders discount.

 

[tykurez]

Shut up and eat the Mojo Sandwich, ya commie!

I offer no real help as far as artisanal turkey shavings and small batch ketchup with hemp seeds goes, but I am all in on the periscope. Please provide your Twitter handle for all of us to indulge.

 

[Migs]

Shut up and eat the Mojo sandwich, Commie!

Do you switch to this tomorrow?

 

[8893]

There is only one ketchup: Heinz. I thought it was implicit in the sentence. If not, it should be.

If you are going with the turkey burger, get Shady Brook or the Stop & Shop premium brand ("Simply Enjoy" or something like that) and get a ton of fresh mushrooms to chop fine and add the ground turkey mix. That's Mrs. 8893's trick for keeping them moist.

 

[Kitaman]

So you want to change things commie?

 

[storrsroars]

There is only one ketchup: Heinz. I thought it was implicit in the sentence. If not, it should be.

Perhaps can weigh in on the specific language, but from my experience with contracts, as I see it, the devil is in the details, which as far as the brand of ketchup is concerned, are missing. I have to side with Augie here. No implicit description of Heinz.

Before every game, Augie has to eat a turkey sandwich. With lots of ketchup. So much ketchup, it squirts out the sides and back of the sandwich and he feels like he’s drowning in it. And every time he posts, from now until the end of our season, someone needs to respond with “Shut up and eat the Mojo sandwich, commie!” Yup. It’s the victim you wanted with the punishment you wanted.​

But, there is more than adequate verbiage about the fact that the turkey and ketchup must be between two slices of some kind of bread and that amount of ketchup applied must be sufficient to create a mess that cannot be contained by the outer perimeter of the sandwich. So video proof of squirting and dripping during consumption would appear to be implicit in the sentencing.

As far as ketchup recommendations, Serious Eats did a taste test and Heinz Organic won over Heinz classic, with all other contenders behind those two, so the brand discussion may be moot regardless. And if one doesn't like turkey, I'd suggest simply going with what's on sale. A heritage turkey isn't going to make turkey not taste like turkey, it'll simply cost more. IMO, ground turkey with whatever spices/herbs you like is the way to go. I'd imagine in this particular case, the thing that will make this crap sandwich go down more easily is the bread you choose along with whatever beer you're using to wash it down.

 

[Chin Diesel]

Take them turkey slixes, shred 'em up and sautee them on a skillet. Throw in some fresh cracked peppercorn and you're good to go.

With Heinz ketchup of course. Between two slices of bread.

 

[Deepster]

First off, I would argue that making DogMania post only in haiku format is far and away a more cruel sentence than what you received. I really do think I hurt him to the core of his soul with that one. You? You're eating a duck__king turkey sandwich. Lighten up, you commie.

Second, I love the innovation of the periscope link. If you can make that work, you will gain yuuuuuuuge points with the Judge and I would anxiously sit here, waiting to see the path of destruction cut through Colorado and Kansas this week. (And if you could make beakumhawks die during that game, that would be an added plus)

p.s. - For the record? I hate you too.

 

[FfldCntyFan]

..

OK.... a few things here.

1) I hate you people (and you are at the top of the list @Deepster, @Thirty Three , @CL82 @nomar @8893 @prankster @Dogbreath2U..... the hangman I see you all as the initial proponents of this travesty of justice, if I missed anyone, Im sorry, rest assured, I hate you too.) Oh and I forgot Fishy, I hate Fishy, well, just because.

2) Im going shopping today to buy this crap (took a half day from work, let me echo my early sentiment this is the harshest mojo verdict in the history of the yard, not only do I have to abuse myself with gross food, its costing me money out of my pocket) Im a delicate hothouse flower in my food and drink choices. I need some Artisinal grass fed Organic turkey recommendations. Also, who are the top small batch craft ketchup makers? I would prefer something made by a couple heavily bearded steampunk hipsters brewing that stuff out of a converted warehouse in Bushwick. Free trade a plus.

3) While I absolutely loathe this sentence (the commie post replies are wearing me down) and prefer to be on the other side of the mojo fence (incidentally where I have been devastatingly effective in aiding our cause over the years in my not so humble opinion) , I pledge to NOT be the guy that ruins mojo. I have accepted my fate and grudgingly embraced the punishment to appease the mojo gods.... this better work!

4) In reference to number 3. Hate it or not, If im in, Im in. I do not half ass the mojo, I want to whip the mojo into a frenzy that propels us to a title. To that end, if there is interest I am thinking about Periscoping my trip to the Market this afternoon. I am willing to take the Yard shopping with me via live video stream. I may even let you guys help me make turkey and ketchup choices in real time via the comments on the stream. It would possibly be breaking new ground in 21st century mojo techniques. I would like to think the mojo gods take kindly to mojo innovations.

Any interest?

thinking about 2 pm. If there is interest I will put periscope link in this thread.

Otherwise please leave you suggestions for item number 2 in this thread.

Oh, and screw you.

 

[August_West]

Shut up and eat the Mojo Sandwich, ya commie!

I offer no real help as far as artisanal turkey shavings and small batch ketchup with hemp seeds goes, but I am all in on the periscope. Please provide your Twitter handle for all of us to indulge.

lol like I would give the psychos on this site my real life info. (and especially with those Cuse fans reading every word on this site, Id fear for the safety of my family)

I already have that nut @Dove outing me all over the place.

Im creating an appropriate alternate twitter handle for this hot mess. Will be back with it.

 

[KingOPancakes]

@August_West flatten 2 turkey burger patties and place a hearty amount of cheese (provolone or mozz work great) on one patty then place 2nd patty on top of cheese and press together to form 1 monster stuffed turkey burger before grilling. It's delicious.

Also, shut up and eat the mojo sandwich, commie!

 

[CL82]

Shut up and eat the Mojo sandwich, Commie!

That said, I'm glad to see that you are embracing this. This could rank among the great hangings of all time. You and the Donald are making it rain mojo....

Could not agree more with @8893, it's Heinz or it ain't ketchup! So that's one easy decision made.

Regarding which organically grown, herb fed, free range, kosher turkey you buy? Who gives a duck? They are grotesque birds with no feathers on their faces because they wallow in their own droppings. Try to hang on to that image as you choke those bad boy sliders down. And to whoever suggested sliders, WTF? It was a mojo sandwich not a mojo burger! Bread, turkey, a dollop of mayonaise (so you can choke down that dry tasteless slab of bird) and then slather on some ketchup. It was 50/50 whether you'd be able to keep it down. Sliders (with finely ground mushrooms, no less), that's just a walk in the park, Kazanski.

All that said, I'm in for Periscope, if only as a test run for the main event. Because I'm an old fart, I forgot how to search for people so some remedial instructions would be appreciated....

 

[August_West]

follow me on twitter

@huskymojocommie

may do a test run this morning as I pay a visit to Doves office down the street. Will do a candid camera surprise.

 

[prankster]

lol like I would give the psychos on this site my real life info. (and especially with those Cuse fans reading every word on this site, Id fear for the safety of my family)

I already have that nut @Dove outing me all over the place.

Im creating an appropriate alternate twitter handle for this hot mess. Will be back with it.

So many of your posts these days sound like whining!

Shut up and eat the Mojo sandwich, commie!

 

[CL82]

Oh and as to this...

OK.... a few things here.

1) I hate you people (and you are at the top of the list @Deepster, @Thirty Three , @CL82 @nomar @8893 @prankster @Dogbreath2U..... the hangman I see you all as the initial proponents of this travesty of justice, if I missed anyone, Im sorry, rest assured, I hate you too.) Oh and I forgot Fishy, I hate Fishy, well, just because.
....
Oh, and screw you.

All I can say is...

Well just that and ...

Shut up and eat the Mojo sandwich, Commie!

 

[prankster]

follow me on twitter

@huskymojocommie

may do a test run this morning as I pay a visit to Doves office down the street. Will do a candid camera surprise.

Shut up and eat the Mojo sandwich, commie!

 

[nomar]

First off, I would argue that making DogMania post only in haiku format is far and away a more cruel sentence than what you received. I really do think I hurt him to the core of his soul with that one. You? You're eating a duck__king turkey sandwich. Lighten up, you commie.

Second, I love the innovation of the periscope link. If you can make that work, you will gain yuuuuuuuge points with the Judge and I would anxiously sit here, waiting to see the path of destruction cut through Colorado and Kansas this week. (And if you could make beakumhawks die during that game, that would be an added plus)

p.s. - For the record? I hate you too.

Frankly, I'm not sure DogMania ever truly recovered from that.

 

[FfldCntyFan]

lol like I would give the psychos on this site my real life info. (and especially with those Cuse fans reading every word on this site, Id fear for the safety of my family)

I already have that nut @Dove outing me all over the place.

Im creating an appropriate alternate twitter handle for this hot mess. Will be back with it.

.....

 

[8893]

Frankly, I'm not sure DogMania ever truly recovered from that.

I would say that he was reformed by it, and we have all been better off for it.

 

[August_West]

I'm 15 feet from Doves office right now. What should I do?