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Message: [QUOTE="UConNation, post: 2059307, member: 2931"] BB, first and foremost, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a child is one of the most devastating things we can go through as men and women. Unfortunately, I can say that my wife and I experienced this during the fall. Similar to your situation, my wife was in the second trimester and we had already heard the heartbeat. We even knew the gender and were picking out names. The only advice I can give you is that everyone grieves in their own way. I, like you, felt better when I spoke with other people about it. Even people that I wasn't all that close to. Your girlfriend may grieve differently, but it was helpful to talk about it for both my wife and I. I can PROMISE you that it will get better. You are in an awesome spot with a woman and daughter that love you very much. It sounds like you're fairly young and I'd encourage you to talk to your girlfriend about whether or not you want to try again in the future. Maybe not right away, but at some point. My wife and I are pregnant again with another little boy. We're taking every precaution this time (changing her diet, not trying to over exert herself physically, etc) and so far things are going well (17.5 weeks right now). I only tell you this because I want to share with you that you shouldn't lose hope for being a (biological) father (you're already a father to a young girl who needs and loves you!!!). Last thing - my wife found that as she became comfortable talking to people about it, that she actually had several friends that had been through this too and just never wanted to talk about it; there was comfort for her in knowing that she wasn't alone; that it wasn't her fault; that she didn't do anything wrong. Brother, I'm not a therapist, but I do know the power of talking to people that have gone through this. Please feel free to PM if you want to talk. And again, remember that neither you or your girlfriend did anything wrong. This isn't your fault, and things will get better. I know I'm a stranger, but let me know if I can help at all. [/QUOTE]

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