OT: Happy Festivus! | Page 2 | The Boneyard

OT: Happy Festivus!

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"You are a sad strange little man, and you have my pity.":D
 
Bikers who think it is OK to ride the lane dividers on a highway in heavy traffic.
 
CL82 said:
People who drive slow in the passing lane, refusing to move and then when you give up and move to the left lane to drive a normal speed they speed up to keep pace with you. Then they go on the Boneyard to post how everyone else is a bad driver. Get therapy. ;)
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if they're passing other people, even slowly, you're the ass

If you want to drive 100mph, it has nothing to do with everyone else on the road. So if I'm driving 80+ and passing people, when you flash your high beams or get up my ass, I will slow down to trap you in or have fun keeping you from passing me
 
My top 5 Festivus grievances:

1) People at the self check out at the grocery store who can't wait 2 minutes for me to bag my groceries before they start sending their crap down the conveyor belt where it inevitably mixes in with my stuff.

2) Upper middle class white musicians who play "blues" music.

3) People who dress up their dogs in clothes.

4) Donald Trump supporters.

5) Fat chicks in yoga pants.
 
Kembacity said:
if they're passing other people, even slowly, you're the ass

If you want to drive 100mph, it has nothing to do with everyone else on the road. So if I'm driving 80+ and passing people, when you flash your high beams or get up my ass, I will slow down to trap you in or have fun keeping you from passing me
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Ever notice have the slow drivers in the passing lane are all pretty angry ?
 
.-.
Chin Diesel said:
1. Dunkin' Donuts stores in the south. So. Slow. Just give me a coffee.

2. Keurig snobs. Great. Have your 20 flavors. Just make one of them normal coffee.

3. Bob Diaco's game plan the second anything goes off key. Run, run, run and lose.

4. Airline boarding zones. You thought zone 1 was cool? You might be the last person on board.
4a. balloon knots who don't use the overhead anywhere near their assigned seats.
4b. balloon knots who can't follow simple instructions of which side of the jet is for full size carry ons and which one is for smaller stuff.

5. Drivers who randomly drive at random speeds in random lanes. I could care less what speed you drive. Do us all a favor. Look at the traffic to your right. Are you moving faster than it? If the answer is no or if you're not sure, move to the right.

7. Driving in to the lane and leaving your feet before you know what you're going to do with the ball.

8. You make a post on this board asking a question and people "like" it.

9. The Post Office two days ago. We are all trying to get stuff delivered by Christmas and we all know we have to pay a premium for waiting. Stop asking the clerk for every conceivable pricing option for the package.

10. IPA's. Once again Americans had to ruin something by going extreme. Try balance of flavors not 4000% more hops. This isn't Jolt cola.

11. People who look up to notice I skipped #6 and then get p!ssed at me for mentioning it even though they looked up at it.

12. Emails marked with a red exclamation telling me it's important. Um. No. If it's important, you are calling me directly, using IM or sending me a message on my cell phone. Literally nothing comes to me directly that is important without me knowing it ahead of time.
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You win the Internet for the day.
 
Husky25 said:
On the other hand, a case can be made that even if you could care less, but choose not to, still technically means you couldn't care less.;)
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Or, I could theoretically care less, but I don't.
 
Kembacity said:
if they're passing other people, even slowly, you're the ass

If you want to drive 100mph, it has nothing to do with everyone else on the road. So if I'm driving 80+ and passing people, when you flash your high beams or get up my ass, I will slow down to trap you in or have fun keeping you from passing me
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Then you are the one being dangerous. Move with the herd. If someone is coming up behind you right or wrong, letting them go is the safest thing to do.

Also, if you are in a traffic jam keep up with the car in front of you. You may think you are being smart by hanging back and avoiding the stop/start, but you are only making the delay longer for everybody. This is a scientific fact.
 
August_West said:
My grievances? Pats fans. "I've got a lot of problems with you people and now you are going to hear them"
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New York football fans of any stripe. A bigger bunch of hypocritical haters, I have never seen (Yoda voice). :cool:
 
MTHusky said:
Bikers who think it is OK to ride the lane dividers on a highway in heavy traffic.
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Bikers who get pissed at you for not seeing them when they pass on the right in a non bike lane. Idiots.
 
CL82 said:
Ever notice have the slow drivers in the passing lane are all pretty angry ?
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Or completely oblivious to everything going on around them.
 
.-.
SubbaBub said:
Also, if you are in a traffic jam keep up with the car in front of you. You may think you are being smart by hanging back and avoiding the stop/start, but you are only making the delay longer for everybody. This is a scientific fact.
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And same about the people always changing lanes to try to speed up. In fact, this is one of the biggest culprits for elongating traffic jams. And the annoying thing, is it has been shown to not decrease the time you spend in traffic on average anyway.
 
Chin Diesel said:
10. IPA's. Once again Americans had to ruin something by going extreme. Try balance of flavors not 4000% more hops. This isn't Jolt cola.
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Thank you. It's a goshdarn competition to see who can make the most bitter tasting turd and still have people drinking it by the gallon and proclaiming it the best beer on the planet. It's not. It's just not.

Oh, and FYI, you skipped number 6.
 
SubbaBub said:
Or, I could theoretically care less, but I don't.
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If you choose not to care the absolute least, that means you care at least a little and the phrase loses it's meaning.

The point is mute anyway...(Yes, I did that on purpose).
 
Anyone who uses "because" or "cause" as a pronoun.

Because hipster morons...
 
Here's one that happened to me last week.

I'm on a 3 1/2 mile long bridge two lanes each direction. Up towards the peak is a cop car with it's lights on. It's night time so everyone can see the lights from far away. About a mile before the cop, the two lanes start peacefully merging in to the left lane.

I see a car driving very fast up the right lane in my sideview mirror. Dude comes flying up and hits the brakes hard just to make sure he could fit perfectly between me and the car in front.

What does the then proceed to do? He goes halfway back in to the right lane riding each lane 50/50 just to make sure no one else could merge in front of him.

By dumb luck me and the truck behind me had the same idea. I went in to the right lane and he tried to half-ass block the right. I gently maneuvered between him and the barrier and got around him. Since he went so far over to the right to block me, the truck behind me went around his left side and left him behind both of us.

This was done at ultra high speeds-like 6-7 mph.
 
Chin Diesel said:
Here's one that happened to me last week.

I'm on a 3 1/2 mile long bridge two lanes each direction. Up towards the peak is a cop car with it's lights on. It's night time so everyone can see the lights from far away. About a mile before the cop, the two lanes start peacefully merging in to the left lane.

I see a car driving very fast up the right lane in my sideview mirror. Dude comes flying up and hits the brakes hard just to make sure he could fit perfectly between me and the car in front.

What does the then proceed to do? He goes halfway back in to the right lane riding each lane 50/50 just to make sure no one else could merge in front of him.

By dumb luck me and the truck behind me had the same idea. I went in to the right lane and he tried to half-ass block the right. I gently maneuvered between him and the barrier and got around him. Since he went so far over to the right to block me, the truck behind me went around his left side and left him behind both of us.

This was done at ultra high speeds-like 6-7 mph.
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That's a great success story. Would have been awesome if the two of you stayed side by side and proceeded to go 1mph until you reach the police. Even if it did piss off everyone else behind you. Sometimes, justice must be served.
 
.-.
Marlon Brando singing the song Luck Be A Lady Tonight in the flick Guys and Dolls
while Sinatra was on the set.
 
6. balloon knots who think their over-sized carry on luggage should fit somewhere and inexcusably impede reasonable people from boarding in a timely manner, storing their normal size carry on luggage, and the entire &@#%& plane from departing before or on time. Barstads!
 
People who say "Happy Festivus!" Sorry Chinny.


Wait, no I'm not.
 
.-.
8893 said:
People who send Christmas cards that include a photocopied essay on how great their family is doing.
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Do people still do that? I am under the impression the Christmas card is a dying breed and social media has largely supplanted the photocopied essay ( which I agree are the worst). Although with many on social media these days it's like getting that photocopied essay every day. At least you can block from feed though . It's funny I was just commenting to my wife as she was putting up the Christmas cards , there were like 6, we used to get dozens and dozens.
 
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8893 said:
People who send Christmas cards that include a photocopied essay on how great their family is doing.
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August_West said:
Do people still do that? I am under the impression the Christmas card is a dying breed and social media has largely supplanted the photocopied essay ( which I agree are the worst). Although with many on social media these days it's like getting that photocopied essay every day. At least you can block from feed though . It's funny I was just commenting to my wife as she was putting up the Christmas cards , there were like 6, we used to get dozens and dozens.
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Even worster is the Christmas card talking about how bad the family had it all year but we survived because we have each other card.

Anyone on your distro list knows you had a rough year and had to preserver. No need to make that the focus of a Christmas card. Focus on the positive going forward.
 
Why do I have a post in limbo? Talk about a duck**g grievance.
 
People who whine that everyone should say "Merry Christmas" more, AS THEIR AIRING OF FESTIVUS GRIEVANCES. You're doing it wrong.
 
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