FfldCntyFan
Texas: Property of UConn Men's Basketball program
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2011
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After moping at work for a couple of days, feeling empty due to the end of the college football season (at least as far as I am concerned), discouraged by the fact that George DeLeone is still on the payroll of my alma mater and saddened by the idea that we have at least another twelve months (Mayan Apocalypse accepted) with Pasqualoni as our head coach, I’ve decided that it would be far better for my sanity, and possibly our athletic department (if not university as a whole) if I were to make an attempt at being somewhat productive in laying down some groundwork that could help initiate the change that most of us truly believe is necessary. As Robert Burton has nearly unlimited resources and even he was unable to keep P out of UConn, I figured that using some of my meager savings would do little beyond making it even less likely that I get to retire before I die. I’ve decided that looking to a greater power to exert some otherworldly (possibly divine) influence over our future may be the best course of action.
I was raised a catholic and according to the nuns when (when I was young) God was also catholic (but I imagine like me, he doesn’t make too big of a deal about it these days, especially after word leaked out that a number of priests pulled a Jerry Sandusky on alter boys) so I figured we had a connection there. Initially I was going to light a candle but then it occurred to me, God may have a different horse in this race. It would be in his best interests (well at least it would support those who push his agenda) if we were forced to remain aligned with Villanova, Marquette, Georgetown and possibly even St John’s (I believe that it is pretty evident that even God is not an Seton Hall fan and as he allows them to beat us semi-regularly but continue on as they (and have been for a decade and a half), he is merely playing with PC and their fan base.
It was obvious that I needed something a bit more dramatic so I spoke with my landscaper (well, he really isn’t a landscaper, he merely cleans the brush from my yard and does whatever other odd jobs that may be required. He assured me that he can legally work in this country and if I wanted to pay him on record and send him a 1099 at the end of the year it would not be a problem but, as it would be more convenient if I just paid him in cash, he would give me a nice discount and in the process save me the trouble of taking his information and filing it with the IRS) who happens to know of a gentleman who is skilled in Santeria. After a long conversation, I was told that a curse could be implemented, the decision I needed to make was would a rooster be sufficient or should I open up the wallet and go for the goat? The rooster would produce a reasonable amount of blood and considering GDL’s age, may induce enough of an arthritic hip, or possibly debilitating gout, where he would need to retire. The goat on the other hand would be quite messy but with it, I could bank on something as severe as a stroke or perhaps Myocardial infarction (my words, not his, he said something like ataque del corazón).
Well, I gave this quite a bit of thought, weighing the pros and cons and decided to go full goat. Below is a picture of the guy that I just picked up and the procedure will take place one day this week (the delay will be in finding a suitable ”tabernáculo” where the ritual can be properly performed (and where we will be safe from a raid by the local police or ASPCA). If all goes well we will need a new OC shortly.
I was raised a catholic and according to the nuns when (when I was young) God was also catholic (but I imagine like me, he doesn’t make too big of a deal about it these days, especially after word leaked out that a number of priests pulled a Jerry Sandusky on alter boys) so I figured we had a connection there. Initially I was going to light a candle but then it occurred to me, God may have a different horse in this race. It would be in his best interests (well at least it would support those who push his agenda) if we were forced to remain aligned with Villanova, Marquette, Georgetown and possibly even St John’s (I believe that it is pretty evident that even God is not an Seton Hall fan and as he allows them to beat us semi-regularly but continue on as they (and have been for a decade and a half), he is merely playing with PC and their fan base.
It was obvious that I needed something a bit more dramatic so I spoke with my landscaper (well, he really isn’t a landscaper, he merely cleans the brush from my yard and does whatever other odd jobs that may be required. He assured me that he can legally work in this country and if I wanted to pay him on record and send him a 1099 at the end of the year it would not be a problem but, as it would be more convenient if I just paid him in cash, he would give me a nice discount and in the process save me the trouble of taking his information and filing it with the IRS) who happens to know of a gentleman who is skilled in Santeria. After a long conversation, I was told that a curse could be implemented, the decision I needed to make was would a rooster be sufficient or should I open up the wallet and go for the goat? The rooster would produce a reasonable amount of blood and considering GDL’s age, may induce enough of an arthritic hip, or possibly debilitating gout, where he would need to retire. The goat on the other hand would be quite messy but with it, I could bank on something as severe as a stroke or perhaps Myocardial infarction (my words, not his, he said something like ataque del corazón).
Well, I gave this quite a bit of thought, weighing the pros and cons and decided to go full goat. Below is a picture of the guy that I just picked up and the procedure will take place one day this week (the delay will be in finding a suitable ”tabernáculo” where the ritual can be properly performed (and where we will be safe from a raid by the local police or ASPCA). If all goes well we will need a new OC shortly.
