OT: Moving Anxiety

[tuvent08]

The lives of many people in my family (and me!) are profoundly better off for taking medication, specifically SSRIs to support a genetic predisposition towards anxiety and depression. These medications don't change who you are, but they allow you to access a baseline to actually be who you are.

We're still in the stone ages with our understanding of them, though. It can take weeks to see if a particular drug and its dosage works for you, and there are a lot of doctors who simply have no idea what they're doing.

We've got a really long way to go, though some of the next generation pharmaceutical approaches are promising (i.e., these work more as "coaches" vis-a-vis your synapses rather than specific "players" with specific roles). We've also come a long way, though, with the destigmatization of these medicines that has been occurring among the older generation. I say older because younger people couldn't give a **** if they or their friends are taking, as my kid calls it, "her serotonin." It's a better coping strategy than white-knuckling things and getting blackout drunk, which our culture has known a thing or two about in the past.

In sum, see a pro, take it slow, and keep your expectations in check. Just think of it as a means to access your baseline. It'll work out.

 

[jake14mw]

First, I think it's great that you're open to discussion about this. Mental health goes hand in hand with physical health.

I am not an expert in anything. One thing that concerns me is that you seem to be leaning towards medication for your first step. Medications certainly have their place, but I wouldn't go there first. First thing, start with your doctor. Review your physical health situation. Based off the results of that, maybe the next step could be some sort of therapy. I really think most people can benefit from talking with an impartial person about many different issues they are dealing with. It seems that it might be better to deal with what is causing your anxiety. Making a move like you are planning is definitely a stressful thing. Talking through the thoughts you have and taking steps to deal with them might help greatly. Are you most worried about being away from family, or not having friends, or not knowing the language, etc... There are some actions that you can take to help deal with all of these things that might help you feel much better.

Then, after trying to deal with the root cause of the anxiety, if you feel you need medication then go that route. Good luck with the move. Feel proud of yourself for trying something new. A large percentage of Americans would never be brave enough to give it a try.

 

[Scrutineer]

It's somewhat surprising that so many are advising you to get on meds right away without any knowledge of your situation and what it is about the move that's causing so much anxiety.

My recommendation would be for you to figure out what has you so concerned about what I understand to be a job related move.

Fear of the unknown? Never traveled to a foreign country? No one going with you? Is this a promotion or a demotion?

My personal experience with a move to Japan at the age of 24 (courtesy of the US Air Force) was life changing. It opened my eyes to opportunities I'd never considered in my short life experience to that point and introduced me to new friends with whom we still have reunions decades later.

If you're obsessing about the unknown, and this is a job related move, you're overlooking all the advantages that come with a move to a place where you'll have instant access to a cadre of people that will welcome you and want to help you get situated.

You'll have co-workers to socialize with who will help you with all the little details about such a move. Finding a place to live, where to shop, where to travel, where to find a doctor and dentist and on and on.

Think about the positives, the potential to broaden your life experience and advance your career while meeting many new people and experiencing a new culture. And every time some negative thoughts enter your mind focus on what you believe can be a positive.

 

[storrsroars]

If you're obsessing about the unknown, and this is a job related move, you're overlooking all the advantages that come with a move to a place where you'll have instant access to a cadre of people that will welcome you and want to help you get situated.

You'll have co-workers to socialize with who will help you with all the little details about such a move. Finding a place to live, where to shop, where to travel, where to find a doctor and dentist and on and on.

Think about the positives, the potential to broaden your life experience and advance your career while meeting many new people and experiencing a new culture. And every time some negative thoughts enter your mind focus on what you believe can be a positive.

Here's a tip on how to ease into Monterrey life:

British Pub - Inicio

 

[David 76]

Drugs work but they do work better for some than others. Most are addictive so you might think of it as a bridge father than a way of life.
Google mindfulness techniques or relaxation techniques for simple aids. Yoga and meditation have already been mentioned.
Anxiety is through the roof, keep talking.
Not a. big deal but I am a licensed therapist with decades of experience.

 

[Rocktheworld]

I have found that humans love routines and hate change.

Think about a baby. They need to eat at a certain time every day. They take a nap at the same time every day. You throw a baby's routine out for a day and what happens? They're miserable and scream and cry.....until they fall back into their safe routine.

As adults, we're the same. We take the same route to work. Sit in the same spot. Take our coffee the same way. Your routine is being disrupted and it's making you uncomfortable....until you find your new safe routine.

You'll be fine and Mexico sounds way, way better than North Dakota IMO.

lol babies and toddlers have to be on set schedules because of their (lack of) cognitive development and behavioral self-management. School age kids, adolescents, and adults are typically expected to become more cognitively flexible to deal with what can be a fairly unpredictable world. The only adults who really need some strict routine are those on the autism spectrum

 

[Hey Adrien!]

I'm a few months away from a move to Monterrey Mexico for 2 years... from North Dakota. I've been hit pretty hard with anxiety in the past week. I have an appointment with a counselor next Tuesday. In the meantime I know we have some medical professionals. I'm definitely leaning towards getting some medication. Any thoughts. Does anxiety medication work? Any other thoughts would be helpful.

Medication or not, I recommend online CBT. It’s cheap (cost of a copay) and will help you work through and understand more of why you’re feeling a certain way.

I’ve been on CBT three separate periods, most recently this year after a post-trauma need after an injury. Still do it once every two weeks. Online is great: flexible timing, more access to doctors, etc.

I’ve never been medicated, however, but I used to deal with occasional panic attacks in my mid-20s ten years ago.

I can emphasize as we speak: I’m waiting for a flight and I deal with general travel anxiety. I don’t fly enough to “train my brain” fully, but I’ve learned healthy ways to cope (mints, music, meditation, overpacking water/snacks).

Feel free to PM if you have any specific questions re: online CBT.

 

[Deepster]

lol babies and toddlers have to be on set schedules because of their (lack of) cognitive development and behavioral self-management. School age kids, adolescents, and adults are typically expected to become more cognitively flexible to deal with what can be a fairly unpredictable world. The only adults who really need some strict routine are those on the autism spectrum

LOL. I have been in corporate america for three decades and dealt with change management on a grand scale. Merging organizations together, implementing massive process change, etc.

Adults have a general difficulty with change. Even something as ridiculous as removing the comments section from a case folder.

 

[Rocktheworld]

LOL. I have been in corporate america for three decades and dealt with change management on a grand scale. Merging organizations together, implementing massive process change, etc.

Adults have a general difficulty with change. Even something as ridiculous as removing the comments section from a case folder.

How many books/shows/movies have been about men ditching the monotony of their boring, repetitive lives in search of adventure?

How many books/shows/movies have been about men wishing they could have a predicable, repetitive life?

There is plenty of neuro research that shows that humans love novelty.

 

[Hey Adrien!]

Don't know if you're an athlete or not.. Activities/exercise that kick in endorphins and exhaust the extra energy (anxiety) that you might have are excellent outlets.. Yoga/transcendental meditation can also create a natural calmness that can be extremely helpful.. Make a friend of change.. You got this

I can vouch for this. My wife got her yoga teaching certificate a few years ago and teaches at an amazing studio.

There’s different forms, but I go to her yin flow class, less up and down and more floor work for flexibility and core. After the meditation at the end, I’m super chill.

When she started teaching her I only went to support her, but I go every week now.

I do daily meditations too: I use the Calm app, which is ok, some if their daily meditations are duds, but most are really good.

 

[Deepster]

How many books/shows/movies have been about men ditching the monotony of their boring, repetitive lives in search of adventure?

How many books/shows/movies have been about men wishing they could have a predicable, repetitive life?

There is plenty of neuro research that shows that humans love novelty.

Exactly. They’re movies because they are not the norm.

 

[JakeTheDog]

Bro, something that helped me tremendously is seeing a therapist. I see a LCSW once a week and it no joke changed and probably saved my life. Talking to a professional about these things is the way to go. I happen to be someone who uses meds and therapy to combat my anxiety and depression. Everyone is different and don’t allow people to shame you for wanting to live a better life. Mental health FTW.

 

[Yardigan]

I have found that humans love routines and hate change.

Think about a baby. They need to eat at a certain time every day. They take a nap at the same time every day. You throw a baby's routine out for a day and what happens? They're miserable and scream and cry.....until they fall back into their safe routine.

As adults, we're the same. We take the same route to work. Sit in the same spot. Take our coffee the same way. Your routine is being disrupted and it's making you uncomfortable....until you find your new safe routine.

You'll be fine and Mexico sounds way, way better than North Dakota IMO.

Been to Bismarck a few times...thought it was actually kinda nice. 'cept for the time I went in the winter and couldn't get out of my rental car because the doors were froze shut.

 

[Da_Aisijimo_Gou]

I have asked a lot of questions in the past week. Encountered some individuals who have done the same thing. Moved to a new country without knowing lots of people. One individual did mention they used medication to get through early stages.

@NDakotaHusky Enthusiastically moved multiple times to different countries, some more similar to the US than others, experienced varying rates of cultural adaptation, etc. The most interesting, delayed and challenging upon returning to the States after a decade in a few vastly different Asian locations. Several years later, still figuring out preferred alternative(s) to spend part of years away from our increasingly screwed up nation.

Cannot add anything of value regarding anxiety nor related counseling nor medications. However, will be happy to reply to private messages regarding expat life, preparation, possible do & don’ts for consideration, etc.

One specific recommendation, always found it best to limit overzealous visitations to closed-world Yank, Irish, British pub cocoons. Or, dependencies on expat-only socializing. Dive in, learn, live, experience, learn the local language, meet and befriend locals (not just work colleagues), grow, etc.

You can do it. Worst case, hop back on a plane after giving it a legitimate shot in nearby, more similar than different Monterrey (90 min flight to/from Houston; easy peasey!). Good luck.

 

[Rocktheworld]

Exactly. They’re movies because they are not the norm.

So best-selling novels and box office movies are made to appeal to a small niche of people who will identify with the protagonist? Lol sure

Media reflects society

 

[Dove]

Bro, something that helped me tremendously is seeing a therapist. I see a LCSW once a week and it no joke changed and probably saved my life. Talking to a professional about these things is the way to go. I happen to be someone who uses meds and therapy to combat my anxiety and depression. Everyone is different and don’t allow people to shame you for wanting to live a better life. Mental health FTW.

We are therapists, idiot!

 

[August_West]

corporate america for three decades and dealt with change management

 

[Deepster]

So best-selling novels and box office movies are made to appeal to a small niche of people who will identify with the protagonist? Lol sure

Media reflects society

Right. And movies aren’t an escape from reality.

 

[Rocktheworld]

Right. And movies aren’t an escape from reality.

Yeah exactly lol people fantasize about doing what the protagonist does to escape their repetitive life.

You’re really having a tough time with this concept

 

[Hunt for 7]

I have asked a lot of questions in the past week. Encountered some individuals who have done the same thing. Moved to a new country without knowing lots of people. One individual did mention they used medication to get through early stages.

The peso just hit an all time high against the US dollar so financially it is probably a great time to move to Mexico.

 

[WrenchFan69]

Mexico is awesome and you're gonna love it. Hit up Shonn Miller while you're there.

 

[superjohn]

The peso just hit an all time high against the US dollar so financially it is probably a great time to move to Mexico.

Mexico City is my favorite city. Haven't been to a bunch but I've seen some. That's without a doubt a great city.

 

[temery]

Best way to address anxiety is to go for a long walk. If you did 3-5 mile/day you'd be in Mexico in about a year. Anxiety should be gone by then.