I just lost my dad. Through it all, his mind was still sharp but, his body finally gave up. I will miss our weekly phone calls where we mostly talked Uconn basketball, sports, old cars and politics. Being native Nutmeggers, we both loved Uconn basketball and our fiery coach, Mr. Jim Calhoun.
During our weekly phone calls during basketball season, he would always ask me about each Uconn game and I would try to describe, as best I could, a rough play by play. This was a bond that we both shared and thoroughly enjoyed.
My dad was a Marine and served during the Korean Conflict in the 50’s. He retired as a cop with over 25 years of service then finished out his working career as a Lead Investigator for the State of Connecticut. Not only was he a proud Marine and loved wearing his Korean Veteran Cap, he was always proud to say that he was a cop…just like his dad. Both my grandpa and my dad were Hartford cops; with their combined service beginning in the 1930s and ending in the 1960s. My dad’s hero was his dad and though my dad lived his life as his own man he always strove to make my grandpa proud, and he did. I live my life the same way, I was fortunate to hear my dad tell me that he was proud of me and what I did. I don’t have any regrets except one; that I didn’t spend more time with him.
As he aged, life threw him a series of curve balls. In his late 70s, he was diagnosed with macular degeneration and was legally blind. He also beat stage 4 throat cancer for 5 years. This last battle was his hardest, the cancer returned; this time to his neck causing him problems swallowing which resulted in a feeding tube and fluid on the lungs. The cancer had metastasized and ended up in other parts of his body. The final blow was having an artery in his chest tear, causing internal bleeding and heart stoppage. They revived him, which allowed me one more day to visit with him and to say my good bye.
Sadly, we take life and relationships for granted because we are so busy living life. I didn’t know how long my dad was going to live; I guess I just expected him to always be there. I was very, very fortunate, I got to spend 3 of his last 5 days with him and our time together during those days was more precious to me than gold. We spoke about our lives, our family and old friends. He must have known something that I did not because he told me that he needed for someone to write his obituary. I told him that I had a pad of paper and a pen and that I was ready to write everything down. Little did I know that I would lose him 2 days later.
I am writing this post as a reminder; love and keep in contact with family and friends because you never know when you may say your last good bye. Don’t put off the “I love you’s” because you may never get another chance to speak those special words again. I loved hearing my dad say; “I love you son” just as much as he loved hearing me say; “I love you dad”. We get caught up in life and allow those special times and sayings to get put on the back burner. Hug your wife, hug your parents and hug your children and always tell them that you love them. Our families are our most precious and prized possessions, treat them as such.
In closing, I would like to say one more time; “I love you Dad…”
