Just In

[Mr. Hand]

And I'd like to announce I'm entering the transfer portal. 5'8" 220 pg. I have to play point because I'm mostly blind. Just point me in the direction of the basket and I have the moves to create offense. Accepting offers.

 

[Kolumbo]

Kolumbo is a tough, scrappy combo guard < 6' who is equipped to score shots or distribute. Has a burly build with a sluggish first step. Plays without pace, slow and steady. Can really keep score, break down defenders and get into the paint. Call his people to schedule a meeting.

 

[Mazhude]

Listed at 6'2", some have reported he's only 5'7"3/4... still 185 though, so can dribble really, really hard... very low to the ground. Extraordinary ability to throw the ball at the front of the rim... really, really hard. If you like pina coladas, and gettin' caught in the rain... If you're not into yoga, and most importantly, if you have half a brain... then players, I'm here to tell you, I am your man.

 

[LBird33]

First I’d like to thank my parole officer and attorney for getting me released I feel so blessed to announce I’m entering the portal. 6’2” 225. All you guys in the portal put your hands up and give me your money and jewelry. Oh can sometimes hit a 3.

 

[tcf15]

6'7" 255, good for 5 hard fouls a game. Who do you need me to take out?

Finally, a worthy competitor for @SouthTampaBill

 

[jdb50]

6'7" 255, good for 5 hard fouls a game. Who do you need me to take out?

If you run onto the court like Nick Fotiu took the ice you are signed! Foul them hard!!

 

[jdb50]

5"11'' 215 lbs. I can touch the bottom of the net with big hops and am a rebounding machine due to extraordinary powers to tell where the missed shot is going to go. K Free would have no chance outrebounding me in a stone age league game. Definitely a 4. With a heavy gut course level workload I could be eligible for one semester.

 

[DisabledVet]

@IllinoisHuskie
Thanks for the entertaining thread. Perfect timing after last weeks lost and the many threads and opinions on what Hurley and the players should/shouldn’t be doing.

Funny replies by everyone.

Thank you @Mister P . I too was a little down after the loss last week. These media reports of players entering the transfer portal seem to be dropping faster than Madonna’s prom dress.

 

[jayteeman]

Do we have anyone that smells bad enough to set picks with no physical contact?

 

[Greathusky]

I am available as an assistant coach. After spending years on the Boneyard listening to posters offering suggestions, criticisms, strategies, observations and hangings, I am more than qualified to pick my nose on the bench and offer up my years of experience.

 

[Improviser]

Do we have anyone that smells bad enough to set picks with no physical contact?

That should be a recruiting priority.

No height, no speed, just long enough wingspan of spreading odor.

 

[UCSouth]

Do we have anyone that smells bad enough to set picks with no physical contact?

I can suit up after cleaning the chicken coop.

 

[Travelman6]

6"1
Weight fluctuates between 180-190.
Knockdown 3-pt shooter as long as I have about 3 meters of space. Once knocked down 4 deep 3s in a row.
Hovering around 75% career FT shooting and can accidentally poke a few balls away for 1 or 2 steals per game.
36, only slightly hobbled, good at sitting on benches.

 

[Doctor Hoop]

6’2 (formerly 6’3”) 225 surgeon. Makes really hard cuts, good for team chemistry and biology, leaves the locker room in stitcthes. Y’all will need me to go with you as a package transfer, to scope your knees at the end of the season and replace them when you retire.