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Which all should be burned down and never used again, they're embarrassing
And he didn't even mention "poppers"
Yes, it's in a different category. A real nickname. Those others are contrivances made up by unclever people trying to appear clever.
To be fair, Porkchop is a nickname from childhood, and Poppers seems to have come from UConn teammates. Don't know about any other nickname origins besides Squirrel, which my buddy and I began to use his freshman year, when his movements were quite squirrel-like. (For what it's worth, I did not come up with the name to appear clever. I acknowledge, as you say, that I am indeed unclever.)