Coffee is for closers. Only the paranoid survive.

[Ewekon]

David Mamet: Coffee is for closers.

Andy Grove: Only the paranoid survive.

I'm among the 50+ crowd here that has been a Husky fan for a long time. What I do involves having a number of sales offices around the country report in to me. (Big ' deal I know.)

When I constantly get word from a rep that all of their prospects "really like them" my paranoia gene kicks in. In fact, this likability index more often than not reveals a closing ratio for new business that is under the desired metric. Top performers always ask where the prospect is in the buying process either directly or indirectly. They cajole, apply the correct amount of pressure and almost always make the prospect feel a certain amount of discomfort throughout the mating dance. They make the prospect constantly aware that choosing "our widget" will make them successful and look good and not doing so would be a mistake. By far, our top performers would describe successful closes as "tough" or "difficult" with expletives added for colour. Never do I hear "they really like me". They know they have the "yes" before it is even stated. No coffee for being liked.

Granted, our prospects aren't 18 years old but for some reason I figured I would just bore you all with this tale of my woe and misery tonight. I'm going to get a coffee and you may not like me.

 

[Dogdeacon]

Wtf are your u selling? At least give us the industry? With sales there's always a degree of BS, but often that is part of getting customers to trust or like you (& best are sincerely interested in the customer at least while they are at it) & sure then some customers need to be told or cajoled when to buy. But ultimately business depends on satisfied customers = reputation not a closing ratio. And yeah I'd say some of the best, most profitable deals are ones where relationship or trust and just plain being liked gets the customer to pay more.

The Glengary leads ain't worth stealing, lying and fake pressure. Where does yesterday not matter?

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

Set of steak knives?

 

[willie99]

vacuum cleaners?

 

[August_West]

I realize this thread is about sales and recruiting , maybe I can offer some insight.

I am in outside sales, which is currently salary+commission, but will move into straight commission starting at the beginning of July 2o17I have been in this position since December 2016. I have competition from several direct manufacturing sales reps, large distributors, and local distributors. Here are the advantages and disadvantages of each:

Direct Advantages: Immediate knowledge of new technology, no middle man mark up, one shipping bill (paid by manufacturer or buyer of goods), access to larger range of non-commodity items, control inventory, have access to many distributors that can effectively sell their goods which increases market share, and set prices of commodity they manufacture.

Direct disadvantages: Typically have 1-3 sales reps per region (i.e. southeast, mid-atlantic, northeast, etc.) limiting the number of accounts they can successfully manage/cold-call, lack physical customer service or physical technical service available to or affordable for smaller users or altogether, are sometimes not trustworthy because they will go in behind their distributors that sell their commodity to one account in large quantities (i.e. they missed a big account, and have found out about it through a distributor selling their particular product) which leads to the distributor not selling their product anymore, have too many distributors selling the product ultimately driving the set price down through deviations, possibly rely on distributors to actually sell the product, and competition from other direct sources.

Large distributor advantages: have access to other commodities that go hand in hand with other manufacturers (poor example- grocery stores sell milk as well as cereal), get direct pricing, many locations regionally or nationally easing the shipping burden of buyers with multiple locations, personal service either customer or technical, many sales reps that are able to cover a broader territory, access to multiple manufacturers of the same commodity allowing to keep prices in check, service programs that smaller companies can't offer and direct providers can't match in price or value, and experts of many many commodities as opposed to one or a few.

Large distributor disadvantages: smaller local distributors creating price wars (think Michael Scott Paper Co vs Dunder-Mifflin), direct mfg's going in behind and stealing business, limited access to all of the mfg's (you won't find Harris Teeter name brands in Food Lion and visa versa), can't truly set prices because it's based on both supply and demand, territory management, and tough growth prospects in slower economies (this is true for direct as well really)

Local distributor advantages: Typically a good ol' boy setting where the seller and the buyer know each other for years (this does happen at all levels, but mostly at the local level), local folks are right down the street and can be used in emergencies, if the local guy buys at high enough volumes then there is no shipping charge to the end user, and access to both direct mfg's and large distributors.

Local distributor disadvantages: easily beaten in price, array of commodities, array of technology, lack of trained staff, low cash flow, etc etc etc.

This is what I have noticed in my six months, I am sure there are plenty more that need mentioning. The way I am setting myself apart as a sales person is this: I go after the big accounts right now while I am new. The big accounts, if I land them, will take care of me while I am new and building a customer base. The money made off of those allows me to focus free time on smaller accounts that get me higher margins. I build up big accounts, I would like to have 5-10 of these, then get 20-30 medium accounts. If I lose 1 or 2 big accounts, the 20-30 medium accounts keep me afloat while I go after new big accounts. I don't really waste time on small accounts simply because they basically pay for breakfast or something really small.

I will say this, if you can't get a big account in the first 6-8 months (assuming you have cash flow that you can ride this long) you could be in a world of trouble. If you can get one, it will really make going after the others a lot more enjoyable and less stressful. It's simply just very exhausting wasting any time on anything other than big accounts in the very beginning. You work just as hard on the medium sized accounts and see 1/3 to 1/36 of the money in my situation.

If you have any other questions, you can PM me. I hope this helps in the slightest!

 

[intlzncster]

I realize this thread is about sales and recruiting , maybe I can offer some insight.

I am in outside sales, which is currently salary+commission, but will move into straight commission starting at the beginning of July 2o17I have been in this position since December 2016. I have competition from several direct manufacturing sales reps, large distributors, and local distributors. Here are the advantages and disadvantages of each:

Direct Advantages: Immediate knowledge of new technology, no middle man mark up, one shipping bill (paid by manufacturer or buyer of goods), access to larger range of non-commodity items, control inventory, have access to many distributors that can effectively sell their goods which increases market share, and set prices of commodity they manufacture.

Direct disadvantages: Typically have 1-3 sales reps per region (i.e. southeast, mid-atlantic, northeast, etc.) limiting the number of accounts they can successfully manage/cold-call, lack physical customer service or physical technical service available to or affordable for smaller users or altogether, are sometimes not trustworthy because they will go in behind their distributors that sell their commodity to one account in large quantities (i.e. they missed a big account, and have found out about it through a distributor selling their particular product) which leads to the distributor not selling their product anymore, have too many distributors selling the product ultimately driving the set price down through deviations, possibly rely on distributors to actually sell the product, and competition from other direct sources.

Large distributor advantages: have access to other commodities that go hand in hand with other manufacturers (poor example- grocery stores sell milk as well as cereal), get direct pricing, many locations regionally or nationally easing the shipping burden of buyers with multiple locations, personal service either customer or technical, many sales reps that are able to cover a broader territory, access to multiple manufacturers of the same commodity allowing to keep prices in check, service programs that smaller companies can't offer and direct providers can't match in price or value, and experts of many many commodities as opposed to one or a few.

Large distributor disadvantages: smaller local distributors creating price wars (think Michael Scott Paper Co vs Dunder-Mifflin), direct mfg's going in behind and stealing business, limited access to all of the mfg's (you won't find Harris Teeter name brands in Food Lion and visa versa), can't truly set prices because it's based on both supply and demand, territory management, and tough growth prospects in slower economies (this is true for direct as well really)

Local distributor advantages: Typically a good ol' boy setting where the seller and the buyer know each other for years (this does happen at all levels, but mostly at the local level), local folks are right down the street and can be used in emergencies, if the local guy buys at high enough volumes then there is no shipping charge to the end user, and access to both direct mfg's and large distributors.

Local distributor disadvantages: easily beaten in price, array of commodities, array of technology, lack of trained staff, low cash flow, etc etc etc.

This is what I have noticed in my six months, I am sure there are plenty more that need mentioning. The way I am setting myself apart as a sales person is this: I go after the big accounts right now while I am new. The big accounts, if I land them, will take care of me while I am new and building a customer base. The money made off of those allows me to focus free time on smaller accounts that get me higher margins. I build up big accounts, I would like to have 5-10 of these, then get 20-30 medium accounts. If I lose 1 or 2 big accounts, the 20-30 medium accounts keep me afloat while I go after new big accounts. I don't really waste time on small accounts simply because they basically pay for breakfast or something really small.

I will say this, if you can't get a big account in the first 6-8 months (assuming you have cash flow that you can ride this long) you could be in a world of trouble. If you can get one, it will really make going after the others a lot more enjoyable and less stressful. It's simply just very exhausting wasting any time on anything other than big accounts in the very beginning. You work just as hard on the medium sized accounts and see 1/3 to 1/36 of the money in my situation.

So you are saying KO should be going all out on one and done's first and foremost? Then going after the midrange guys after he lands one or two of the former?

 

[whaler11]

I realize this thread is about sales and recruiting , maybe I can offer some insight.

I am in outside sales, which is currently salary+commission, but will move into straight commission starting at the beginning of July 2o17I have been in this position since December 2016. I have competition from several direct manufacturing sales reps, large distributors, and local distributors. Here are the advantages and disadvantages of each:

Direct Advantages: Immediate knowledge of new technology, no middle man mark up, one shipping bill (paid by manufacturer or buyer of goods), access to larger range of non-commodity items, control inventory, have access to many distributors that can effectively sell their goods which increases market share, and set prices of commodity they manufacture.

Direct disadvantages: Typically have 1-3 sales reps per region (i.e. southeast, mid-atlantic, northeast, etc.) limiting the number of accounts they can successfully manage/cold-call, lack physical customer service or physical technical service available to or affordable for smaller users or altogether, are sometimes not trustworthy because they will go in behind their distributors that sell their commodity to one account in large quantities (i.e. they missed a big account, and have found out about it through a distributor selling their particular product) which leads to the distributor not selling their product anymore, have too many distributors selling the product ultimately driving the set price down through deviations, possibly rely on distributors to actually sell the product, and competition from other direct sources.

Large distributor advantages: have access to other commodities that go hand in hand with other manufacturers (poor example- grocery stores sell milk as well as cereal), get direct pricing, many locations regionally or nationally easing the shipping burden of buyers with multiple locations, personal service either customer or technical, many sales reps that are able to cover a broader territory, access to multiple manufacturers of the same commodity allowing to keep prices in check, service programs that smaller companies can't offer and direct providers can't match in price or value, and experts of many many commodities as opposed to one or a few.

Large distributor disadvantages: smaller local distributors creating price wars (think Michael Scott Paper Co vs Dunder-Mifflin), direct mfg's going in behind and stealing business, limited access to all of the mfg's (you won't find Harris Teeter name brands in Food Lion and visa versa), can't truly set prices because it's based on both supply and demand, territory management, and tough growth prospects in slower economies (this is true for direct as well really)

Local distributor advantages: Typically a good ol' boy setting where the seller and the buyer know each other for years (this does happen at all levels, but mostly at the local level), local folks are right down the street and can be used in emergencies, if the local guy buys at high enough volumes then there is no shipping charge to the end user, and access to both direct mfg's and large distributors.

Local distributor disadvantages: easily beaten in price, array of commodities, array of technology, lack of trained staff, low cash flow, etc etc etc.

This is what I have noticed in my six months, I am sure there are plenty more that need mentioning. The way I am setting myself apart as a sales person is this: I go after the big accounts right now while I am new. The big accounts, if I land them, will take care of me while I am new and building a customer base. The money made off of those allows me to focus free time on smaller accounts that get me higher margins. I build up big accounts, I would like to have 5-10 of these, then get 20-30 medium accounts. If I lose 1 or 2 big accounts, the 20-30 medium accounts keep me afloat while I go after new big accounts. I don't really waste time on small accounts simply because they basically pay for breakfast or something really small.

I will say this, if you can't get a big account in the first 6-8 months (assuming you have cash flow that you can ride this long) you could be in a world of trouble. If you can get one, it will really make going after the others a lot more enjoyable and less stressful. It's simply just very exhausting wasting any time on anything other than big accounts in the very beginning. You work just as hard on the medium sized accounts and see 1/3 to 1/36 of the money in my situation.

If you have any other questions, you can PM me. I hope this helps in the slightest!

I know I should know this one... but I can not remember who posted this originally.

Kudos to you for changing the years.... dot dot dot.

 

[David 76]

I'm impressed that you worked six months in the last few weeks.

 

[storrsroars]

Andy Grove: Only the paranoid survive.

My Andy Grove story - he was keynoting a conference I marketed. Apparently his wife's attorneys were having a hella time serving divorce papers. Grove had security all around him at all times. However, the process server managed to get backstage - we thought he was with Grove's detail and Grove thought he was with us. While he's standing on the side of the stage just before going on to deliver his keynote, the process server simply says, "Mr. Grove?", to which Grove says, "Yes?" and the process server stuffs the envelope in his chest.

Grove wasn't paranoid enough, apparently.

 

[Deepster]

Every time I hear "Great meeting, they really loved the team" I almost always slide it over to the loss column. And yes, most good wins happen as I say "when you start to feel like you're gonna throw up".

And it sounds like August is dealing drugs.

 

[August_West]

I've also been a plumbing manufacturer's sales rep for 18 years. There are a few things to think about.

1. The bigger the urinal, the heavier. There are plate type carriers that you can install in the wall to screw the urinal hanger to, in order to make the installation stable. You will need to get the correct carrier to use with stud walls. Some have steel legs that go to the floor, but you don't necessarily need them.

2. If you are installing the urinal on a 4" stud wall, you most likely will have to use an exposed flush valve on a top spud urinal. There probably won't be room in the wall for a concealed flush valve/back spud urinal, which would be a cleaner look. There are many different types of flush valves, from manual operated, to sensor operated using either batteries or a transformer. While not as big a deal with urinal flush valves, water volume can be a problem. The inlet stop on the flush valve will be 3/4" IPS for a 3/4" supply, (1" on water closets) and if your bathroom is supplied with a 1/2" water line, the flush valve may not work properly/consistently.

3. Waterless urinals stink no matter what you do, so don't consider them as a solution to any of these issues. I can't imagine any reputable contractor would recommend them for a residence, but if they do, say no!

4. There are urinals now that are designed to work on as little water as a pint per flush. If you consider this, make sure the urinal and flush valve are matched. You don't want a urinal designed to work on 1.0 or 1.5 gpf, and a pint flush valve, or vice versa.

I'm on the shoreline so I'm not selling you anything, but will be glad to help you avoid a pitfall if I can.

 

[EBonz30]

Cared.....

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

I've also been a plumbing manufacturer's sales rep for 18 years. There are a few things to think about.

1. The bigger the urinal, the heavier. There are plate type carriers that you can install in the wall to screw the urinal hanger to, in order to make the installation stable. You will need to get the correct carrier to use with stud walls. Some have steel legs that go to the floor, but you don't necessarily need them.

2. If you are installing the urinal on a 4" stud wall, you most likely will have to use an exposed flush valve on a top spud urinal. There probably won't be room in the wall for a concealed flush valve/back spud urinal, which would be a cleaner look. There are many different types of flush valves, from manual operated, to sensor operated using either batteries or a transformer. While not as big a deal with urinal flush valves, water volume can be a problem. The inlet stop on the flush valve will be 3/4" IPS for a 3/4" supply, (1" on water closets) and if your bathroom is supplied with a 1/2" water line, the flush valve may not work properly/consistently.

3. Waterless urinals stink no matter what you do, so don't consider them as a solution to any of these issues. I can't imagine any reputable contractor would recommend them for a residence, but if they do, say no!

4. There are urinals now that are designed to work on as little water as a pint per flush. If you consider this, make sure the urinal and flush valve are matched. You don't want a urinal designed to work on 1.0 or 1.5 gpf, and a pint flush valve, or vice versa.

I'm on the shoreline so I'm not selling you anything, but will be glad to help you avoid a pitfall if I can.

What's the market for residential urinals?

 

[mauconnfan]

I've also been a plumbing manufacturer's sales rep for 18 years. There are a few things to think about.

1. The bigger the urinal, the heavier. There are plate type carriers that you can install in the wall to screw the urinal hanger to, in order to make the installation stable. You will need to get the correct carrier to use with stud walls. Some have steel legs that go to the floor, but you don't necessarily need them.

2. If you are installing the urinal on a 4" stud wall, you most likely will have to use an exposed flush valve on a top spud urinal. There probably won't be room in the wall for a concealed flush valve/back spud urinal, which would be a cleaner look. There are many different types of flush valves, from manual operated, to sensor operated using either batteries or a transformer. While not as big a deal with urinal flush valves, water volume can be a problem. The inlet stop on the flush valve will be 3/4" IPS for a 3/4" supply, (1" on water closets) and if your bathroom is supplied with a 1/2" water line, the flush valve may not work properly/consistently.

3. Waterless urinals stink no matter what you do, so don't consider them as a solution to any of these issues. I can't imagine any reputable contractor would recommend them for a residence, but if they do, say no!

4. There are urinals now that are designed to work on as little water as a pint per flush. If you consider this, make sure the urinal and flush valve are matched. You don't want a urinal designed to work on 1.0 or 1.5 gpf, and a pint flush valve, or vice versa.

I'm on the shoreline so I'm not selling you anything, but will be glad to help you avoid a pitfall if I can.

I like the spittoon urinals so real men can stand there and have a conversation about the game their at, the women at the bar etc etc...

 

[Kitaman]

Damn this thread has really gone to the toilet.

 

[mauconnfan]

Damn this thread has really gone to the toilet.

Spiraling you might say Kita?

 

[Kitaman]

Spiraling you might say Kita?

Like Drano.

 

[mauconnfan]

Like Drano.

You're a snake Kita

 

[August_West]

So, I've been eating a boss amount of hot dogs lately.

I've been getting pretty positive vibes from hot dogs in general, but last night I had a dream where a fully intact opus about hot dogs came to me. Jah came to me at the end of this dream & told me to create & share this song with The boneyard & fellow hot dog lovers. I told Jah, "Jah, I'm scared of The boneyard though, & their harsh criticism." Jah simply replied "PROVIDE".

 

[August_West]

haha wow i just checked in to this thread after forgetting about it for like 2 hours and you guys are still seriously waiting for august to tell u about red lobster and take pictures and post them for you? This is seriously what is on your minds daily? I even had one of you Red LObster fluffers actually PM me asking me about it like "derrrr hey broseph wonder if you went to red lobster yet derrrrrrrrr how was it man?" PM someone you never met over stupid junk like this? jesus man you guys need to get off The yard for a while and get a real life if this is the stuff that occupies your mind. I was wondering how long i could get you guys to keep this stupid up, but holy crap man. yeah i went to red lobster for the 30 shrimp deal. wasnt going to cause i could give a darn, but friends from austin were in town doing the tourist thing and met them for a drink near times square and they were in the mood for seafood. i suggested RL half jokingly and mentioned the deal. them being on a budget, they agreed saying they havent been in years. we went. as i first walked in, i was pleasantly surprised. the hostess was frickin hot. i mean HOT! what this skinny tan brunette goddess was doing hostessing at a RL i will never know. she brought us to our table. we were given water with no ice. We wait about 6-7 minutes before our waitreiss shows up to take our drink order, answer questions, and offer suggestions. well, it takes another five minutes for this tortoise to bring us our drinks, which were weak and absolutely bland. this place was not busy AT ALL. kinda weird for prime dinner time in times square for the best seafood in the world no? alas, our server should not be taking this long. but i'm not here for the drinks, i'm here to try the supposedly great food. i should mention that while the waitress was finishing our drink order, some wonderfully smelling CBB's arrived at our table and i politely mentioned before she left that we would definitely be needing more of these as we were very hungry. the smell was great, thats it. they were totally burned on the bottom i mean black around the edges and dark brown in the middle. the only edible part of the entire batch of CBB's were the middle of the very top of the biscuits so much for these legendary biscuits. they were fricking horrid. when we get our drinks we are obv. ready to order but we still have to wait for the waitress to come back, and when she does she wreaks of cigarettes. nice time to take a smoke break sweetie, and i see you were very well trained by this "fine" establishment. i go with the clam chowder and my 2 friends order the lobster and crab stuffed mushrooms and we all get salads. for dinner we all get the 30 shrimp deal, and i get the scampi and mango jalepeno combo, my friends get a mix of those with the fried and grilled skewered shrimp. i should mention again that this place was not busy and every course took frickin forever. guess the kitchen staff was well trained too. the clam chowder was like someone poured cold frickin milk over raw chopped potatoes with maybe 2 stiff chewy pieces of clam in it with no seasoning. i almost spit out the first bite and had to use half of the salt shaker in order to force half of the rest of the the bowl down. my friends didnt even finish the mushrooms, so i tried one to see how bad they actually were.. the presentation made them look disgusting, the mushrooms were severely overcooked and almost black, and the seafood was just over buttered and rubbery as frick. like chewing on silly putty dipped in melted cat snow and butter. the salads, a disgrace. i dont think i had one piece of green lettuce on my entire plate. it was all the white hard lettuce under dressed, and of course it took a decade to get my extra side of dressing that was the only option in finishing even have of this salad a dying rabbit would turn down. oh by the way, we still havent gotten our extra cheddar bays. oh, and lol at the doosh in this thread who actually slipped his waiter ten extra fricking dollars for extra FREE biscuits at a frickin chain restaurant when the recipe is online and obv. could be made better at home instead of burnt to snow at a RL. what an idiot, cant believe you idiots actually do that stupid crap and brag about it. wow. on to the the entrees.


we finally get our entrees, after being there over an hour, and i am shocked. i needed a magnifying glass to even be able to see these frickin tiny arse shrimp. i mean these frickin things are microscopic. we asked the waitress if they were always this small and she said "those are actually a bit bigger than what I normally see get served." are you fricking serious? oh, and lol at the guy here who posted that RL serve small shrimp cause they catch them when they are that small cause thats when they are the most flavorful. i cant...i just cant begin to explain what a culinary moron you are. ask any chef when...actually, forget it. just keep living in your bubble. whatever, just maybe the flavor might redeem this frickin experience, but no. I try the mango jalapeno first and almost gag. it was as if whatever fence jumper they had handling the food back there just took some canned jalepenos and dole fruit, chopped it up, squeezed a load of lime juice on it and poured it on top over some overcooked shrimp. i dont think anything i had that night was as bad as that dish. i would rather eat a mile of joy behar's
Crap than ever try that again. the scampi...kinda hard to frick up shrimp scampi right? right? not for RL. i tried to bite into the scampi shrimp, and it was so tough, it was like biting in to a petrified foreskin. i know they probably have a bunch of jerks back there cooking and not chefs like a real restaurant, but holy moly my 2 year old niece knows not to overcook shrimp that much. the sauce, straight up melted butter with absolutely no garlic, seasonings, or any flavor to speak of whatsoever. not to mention i had to eat 5-6 shrimp at a time to even get half a mouthful. shrimp and sauces were just awful, even the fried shrimp came out burned and over battered. we all were able to stomach down about half of our shrimp dished before we gave up out of disgust and disappointment. the sides i tried were the rice pilaf and vegetable medley. frickin rice was so undercooked I almost cracked a tooth while biting in to one bite, which tasted like hot gravel. the vegetables in the medley were undercooked hard as fresh apples with no flavor or seasoning to speak of...oh, and they were ice cold. talk about a frickin poverty meal, this meal wasnt acceptable for a third world solitary prison inmate. The waitress asks if we want to wrap anything to take home. we all look at each other and laugh, and then look at her like, "are u kidding me my bro?" just get this feces out of here. then she asks if we want dessert, and yet another "u kidding me?" look was given. just give us our check so we can leave this pit of culinary hell. as the table is being cleared, our biscuits finally show up. they gave us frickin 3. one a piece. they look ok, so i ask i we could get those to go plus extra since the first batch was burned and we waited till the end of the meal for the replacements. she said these were the last ones and the new batch wouldnt be ready for 10-15 minutes and we would have to wait even though no one was in the restaurant. frick that, just bring the bill. as we wait till next christmas for out fricking check, i see the manager and call him over. i asked why the shrimp were so small and where they got them from. he said he couldnt attest to the small size, but the majority of shrimp came from shrimp farms in asia. FARMS IN ASIA! fricking disgraceful. 30 dinky arse farm shrimp with no flavor in snow recipes...WHAT A DEAL! they are actually smart cause they get this cheap shrimp and advertise the hell out of it so that idiots like the fluffers in onnthe yard think they are getting the best seafood ever for so cheap! man you derelicts are frickin stupid to fall for this, but i guess i' m not suprised. we got the bill, paid, and got the frick out never to return. overall i give red lobster a -17/10 rating. the most horrible dining experience my friends and i have ever experienced, and we have been to some real hellholes before. everything from the service, to the slow kitchen turning out terrible food, to the idiocy of the management contributed to the suckiness of this establishment that is red lobster. later that night at home, i pooped my brains out. my stomach can handle anything, and i mean anything. i have even eaten back of the fridge week old chinese seafood and was fine. this "fresh" seafoods quality wasnt worth my body even taking the time to deal with it, so i just pooped it straight out. but yeah, RL is the best in the country! oh and as far as the #1's, frick you! why would someone who you just made fun of on this thread take the time and effort to pose for pics at a fricking chain restaurant and post them on the internet for randoms who are just jerks that I dont give two hecks about? i mean i know you no life idiots do but...i mean...thats cause ur idiots. I wonder why all of you are so stupid to believe that RL is actually better than seafood restaurants in the NE, NYC, or anywhere. every major city has better seafood somewhere besides RL guaranteed. my only guess is that ur too young to have the experience and knowledge of great food, you all grew up in the south or crappy flyover states that only have chains and RL is the only seafood you know so you boast about it to shroud your culinary idiocy, or you are just flat out frickin morons, or it could be combinations of those three. either way u RL fluffers are complete suckholes. i will not be back to this abortion of a thread. I will be ignoring it. i have never ignored a thread/poster in my entire tenure here on The yard but i will for this thread because i refuse to subject myself to the river of dumb that flows through this thread. it took a while to get over that tragic RL experience, and the only reason taking the time to type all of this out is cause you all stuck with it so long and i felt sorry for u kids with nothing to do on The yard all day just waiting patiently for Augusts review. but please know you are all idiots and you are poisoning of the human race through your idiocy and bad seafood. RL fluffers are a plague on humanity and must be stopped. i swear if i ever see any of you on game i would have no problem telling you what a waste of life you all are. call it social justice of darwinism. the weak and feeble minded with taste buds and palates like that of a swine will not survive. this is the fate of the RL fluffers. THE BEST part is that all of you tasteless will still be here posting snow like "tldr, August is and idiot, August has no soul, sweet melt" and stuff like that in total denial of the bubble you are all living in to try and get a rise out of me or something. go ahead and keep this thread so you can point out things i said that were so wrong and talk about how i will never know the RL greatness and just keep rubbing each other's backs here cause you dont know any better, nor do you have the capacity to understand real seafood cuisine that is served in cities like NYC. just know i will not be reading any of it cause i could give a frick these what you random morons have to think, and i leave you now to wallow in your own stupidity. you RL fluffers are all tastebuds handicapped, and your restaurant fricking sucks. week old long johns silvers > RL highlight of the night: the hostess dropped a pen and bent over to pick it up right in front of me on my way out and i got a nice long glimpse at that masterpiece of a butt. still couldnt do anything to redeem the most horrible evening of my life.

 

[storrsroars]

So, I've been eating a boss amount of hot dogs lately.

I've been getting pretty positive vibes from hot dogs in general, but last night I had a dream where a fully intact opus about hot dogs came to me. Jah came to me at the end of this dream & told me to create & share this song with The boneyard & fellow hot dog lovers. I told Jah, "Jah, I'm scared of The boneyard though, & their harsh criticism." Jah simply replied "PROVIDE".

In my mind, I'm seeing this...



... but I'm hearing this:

Oh, I'd love to put my hot dog in ,
That is where I'd truly love to be.
And if I were 's favorite hot dog,
would be so in love with me!

(all apologies to the fine people from Oscar Meyer).

edit: WTF did the RL screed have to do with a hot dog opus? And when did you forget how to make paragraphs? And while my post above is in jest, I now feel justified after reading a taste descriptor of "petrified foreskin".

 

[August_West]

In my mind, I'm seeing this...



... but I'm hearing this:

Oh, I'd love to put my hot dog in ,
That is where I'd truly love to be.
And if I were 's favorite hot dog,
would be so in love with me!

(all apologies to the fine people from Oscar Meyer).

Gross

 

[intlzncster]

I like the spittoon urinals so real men can stand there and have a conversation about the game their at, the women at the bar etc etc...

Hate those when they get crowded. Always got to look out for unwanted residual splashing from either side.

 

[whaler11]

A salad a dying rabbit would turn down is a great line.