Attitude and correctness

[tomcat]

I just want to get this off my chest. Maybe it will be allowed and maybe it won't. I honestly don't care much., The writing of it is what's important, not the publishing of it. I don't know if anyone else on the BY will understand that, but there it is.

We had a skirmish on the board early this week and Nan, our faithful moderator, had a bit of a meltdown because of so much attitude being shown on the board. I thought she was being overly sensitive based on the fact that as a moderator, she sees absolutely everything and we don't. So she may see lots of people acting like jerks and we don't. I thought there was logic to that, and maybe there was.

But in response, she said some things that got me to thinking. Basically, she said that some longtime members have left this board because of the negative attitude shown by some others. I assumed she meant negative toward UConn and launched into a mini-rant about censorship, because I believe people should be able to (within reason) criticize all sorts of UConn things. But no, she meant negative toward others on the BY.

Let me say up front that when it comes to speech, I tend toward the libertarian: I think people, if polite, should be able to say damn near anything they want. However, I think it should be done within the boundaries of politeness and mutual respect.

So I started looking. The very next day, a relatively new poster had a thought about moving Williams into the post. It was published politely, with credit given to the person who originally came up with the thought, and with a semi-apology for posting it. It was that person's first thread.

In response, someone else pulled the old :"So you're smarter than Geno?" routine. Snarky and uncalled for. I'm kinda proud of the fact that I managed to call the responder on his/her attitude even before Nan could respond.

So here's the deal: I've noticed that we've lost a number of regular posters in the last year or two. I have no idea why, except in a couple of sad cases where people died. But it's disturbing to think that people maybe got disgusted with the way they and others were treated here. I miss a number of the people who used to be here and think it's awful that they might have left because of attitude. They made great contributions to the board and to the discussions on it.

The other thing I see is that some people respond to criticism of snark with comments criticizing political correctness. These, IMHO, are people who do not know the difference between political correctness and boorishness. It is okay to disagree with someone. It is okay to be sarcastic, as long as you're poking at someone's opinion and not at the person. It is not okay to hurt people. It is not okay to make it personal.

Truth is, we need more members, not fewer. The last thing we need is to shut people down when they're just getting their sea legs here.

I think that if any of us see insulting snark, we should think about we would feel if we were on the receiving end and if the answer is "not very good," we should call it out, especially if it is directed toward newcomers. That';s what I plan to do, anyway.

 

[BroadwayVa]

I just want to get this off my chest. Maybe it will be allowed and maybe it won't. I honestly don't care much., The writing of it is what's important, not the publishing of it. I don't know if anyone else on the BY will understand that, but there it is.

We had a skirmish on the board early this week and Nan, our faithful moderator, had a bit of a meltdown because of so much attitude being shown on the board. I thought she was being overly sensitive based on the fact that as a moderator, she sees absolutely everything and we don't. So she may see lots of people acting like jerks and we don't. I thought there was logic to that, and maybe there was.

But in response, she said some things that got me to thinking. Basically, she said that some longtime members have left this board because of the negative attitude shown by some others. I assumed she meant negative toward UConn and launched into a mini-rant about censorship, because I believe people should be able to (within reason) criticize all sorts of UConn things. But no, she meant negative toward others on the BY.

Let me say up front that when it comes to speech, I tend toward the libertarian: I think people, if polite, should be able to say damn near anything they want. However, I think it should be done within the boundaries of politeness and mutual respect.

So I started looking. The very next day, a relatively new poster had a thought about moving Williams into the post. It was published politely, with credit given to the person who originally came up with the thought, and with a semi-apology for posting it. It was that person's first thread.

In response, someone else pulled the old :"So you're smarter than Geno?" routine. Snarky and uncalled for. I'm kinda proud of the fact that I managed to call the responder on his/her attitude even before Nan could respond.

So here's the deal: I've noticed that we've lost a number of regular posters in the last year or two. I have no idea why, except in a couple of sad cases where people died. But it's disturbing to think that people maybe got disgusted with the way they and others were treated here. I miss a number of the people who used to be here and think it's awful that they might have left because of attitude. They made great contributions to the board and to the discussions on it.

The other thing I see is that some people respond to criticism of snark with comments criticizing political correctness. These, IMHO, are people who do not know the difference between political correctness and boorishness. It is okay to disagree with someone. It is okay to be sarcastic, as long as you're poking at someone's opinion and not at the person. It is not okay to hurt people. It is not okay to make it personal.

Truth is, we need more members, not fewer. The last thing we need is to shut people down when they're just getting their sea legs here.

I think that if any of us see insulting snark, we should think about we would feel if we were on the receiving end and if the answer is "not very good," we should call it out, especially if it is directed toward newcomers. That';s what I plan to do, anyway.

I agree with some--some I disagree. I disagree with Political Correctnes because it often is used to shut down OPEN conversations on REAL issues. HOWEVER, The BY on this page is about BASKETBALL --not only that but UCONN WOMEN. That's the subject and that is where (MY opinion) this site should stay.
Every team, every coach suffers from MONDAY MORNING QUARTER BACKS--second guessers. That is in the DNA of that beast. Geno is an adult, paid big money to run this team a part of that is to suffer the outrageous slings and arrows of Fans. Ask yourself which coach of any other team does not suffer the same? Pat Summitt , Holly and Dukes Women's coach have suffered long with those arrows. '
Commenting on what went right, what went wrong is not against the historic rules of being a true FAN. Most of that is part of being a fan. I don't understand the term SNARK-SNARKY. I do understand personal insulting, personally directed negative comments. As naive as I am, I have seen few comments of that nature.
I'm all for OPEN discussions without insults or personally directed negative comments.
Adults should require minimal correction or direction. Much of the sarcasim I have seen, when un-wrapped is funny.

 

[my2cents]

The internet is chock full of dead discussion boards. Why? Because people stopped visiting to "discuss". The rules are clearly stated and should be enforced. But commenting on games, plays, coaching...should be encouraged regardless of what others differing opinions may be.

 

[HuskyNan]

The internet is chock full of dead discussion boards. Why? Because people stopped visiting to "discuss". The rules are clearly stated and should be enforced. But commenting on games, plays, coaching...should be encouraged regardless of what others differing opinions may be.

No one wants to stop any kind of actual discussion. I’m very happy there are several active threads right now with great discussion. What I don’t like is 1) a condescending, mocking or derisive attitude towards others or 2) constant whining about the same thing over and over again. We have probably 100+ posts complaining about prior years’ recruiting, the lack of height on this team, and this year’s bench. Many times a thread will be started just to say something that’s been said numerous times before. Those two things are bigger conversation killers than any rule that currently exists here

 

[my2cents]

No one wants to stop any kind of actual discussion. I’m very happy there are several active threads right now with great discussion. What I don’t like is 1) a condescending, mocking or derisive attitude towards others or 2) constant whining about the same thing over and over again. We have probably 100+ posts complaining about prior years’ recruiting, the lack of height on this team, and this year’s bench. Many times a thread will be started just to say something that’s been said numerous times before. Those two things are bigger conversation killers than any rule that currently exists here

Your points are all valid.
I don't have to read all the content you do, so after awhile the numbskull comments would certainly be frustrating.
I do think your answers to them are spot on.
The two hardest fans to be are for teams that never win and teams that never lose.
Your new avatar is terrific, when I first came on here, I thought they were actual images of the poster.

 

[Bigboote]

No one wants to stop any kind of actual discussion. I’m very happy there are several active threads right now with great discussion. What I don’t like is 1) a condescending, mocking or derisive attitude towards others or 2) constant whining about the same thing over and over again. We have probably 100+ posts complaining about prior years’ recruiting, the lack of height on this team, and this year’s bench. Many times a thread will be started just to say something that’s been said numerous times before. Those two things are bigger conversation killers than any rule that currently exists here

Well said. The things I often think are: Address the post, not the poster (no ad hominem), and read the last several threads so that you don't post the same thing that's been beaten to death in the previous day's posts.
As always, I appreciate the moderators and would never have the patience (nor the disposition) to do their job. They enforce with a pretty light hand and keep things civil while allowing them to be interesting.

 

[JustinesGuy]

I just want to get this off my chest. Maybe it will be allowed and maybe it won't. I honestly don't care much., The writing of it is what's important, not the publishing of it. I don't know if anyone else on the BY will understand that, but there it is.

We had a skirmish on the board early this week and Nan, our faithful moderator, had a bit of a meltdown because of so much attitude being shown on the board. I thought she was being overly sensitive based on the fact that as a moderator, she sees absolutely everything and we don't. So she may see lots of people acting like jerks and we don't. I thought there was logic to that, and maybe there was.

But in response, she said some things that got me to thinking. Basically, she said that some longtime members have left this board because of the negative attitude shown by some others. I assumed she meant negative toward UConn and launched into a mini-rant about censorship, because I believe people should be able to (within reason) criticize all sorts of UConn things. But no, she meant negative toward others on the BY.

Let me say up front that when it comes to speech, I tend toward the libertarian: I think people, if polite, should be able to say damn near anything they want. However, I think it should be done within the boundaries of politeness and mutual respect.

So I started looking. The very next day, a relatively new poster had a thought about moving Williams into the post. It was published politely, with credit given to the person who originally came up with the thought, and with a semi-apology for posting it. It was that person's first thread.

In response, someone else pulled the old :"So you're smarter than Geno?" routine. Snarky and uncalled for. I'm kinda proud of the fact that I managed to call the responder on his/her attitude even before Nan could respond.

So here's the deal: I've noticed that we've lost a number of regular posters in the last year or two. I have no idea why, except in a couple of sad cases where people died. But it's disturbing to think that people maybe got disgusted with the way they and others were treated here. I miss a number of the people who used to be here and think it's awful that they might have left because of attitude. They made great contributions to the board and to the discussions on it.

The other thing I see is that some people respond to criticism of snark with comments criticizing political correctness. These, IMHO, are people who do not know the difference between political correctness and boorishness. It is okay to disagree with someone. It is okay to be sarcastic, as long as you're poking at someone's opinion and not at the person. It is not okay to hurt people. It is not okay to make it personal.

Truth is, we need more members, not fewer. The last thing we need is to shut people down when they're just getting their sea legs here.

I think that if any of us see insulting snark, we should think about we would feel if we were on the receiving end and if the answer is "not very good," we should call it out, especially if it is directed toward newcomers. That';s what I plan to do, anyway.

Good post as usual Tomcat

 

[huskyd]

https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/repetition

The above is a website that provides comments about the virtues (and vices?) of repetition. It suggests that repeating is neither intrinsically good or bad. For example, repeating an untruth, however often, won't make it a truth. (Don't tell that to politicians.) But repeating a basketball play until the players get it right is necessary. (It also characterizes good and better teams.) Repeating in general can have profound effects—notably a kind of comfort, sense of stability, and, yes, even happiness. Our very lives are a series of temporal repetitions: calendars, holidays, seasons, growing old.

If the goal were to avoid repetition on the BY, every participant would have to be familiar with every post. That's not likely or worthwhile. Skip over what you don't want to read. Ignore tiresome redundancy.

As for the people who used to post here and have departed, that's their call. I doubt that the BY was ever meant to be therapy. It does give folks a chance to vent, if they want to vent. It does give folks a sense of community. It's about shared interests, ideas, opinions. For me, it's a place to learn from much more knowledgeable people about a game I love. Personally, people can say whatever they like. Sometimes I feel like responding; most times I don't. It's my choice.

Nothing lasts forever—even websites.

 

[tomcat]

No one wants to stop any kind of actual discussion. I’m very happy there are several active threads right now with great discussion. What I don’t like is 1) a condescending, mocking or derisive attitude towards others or 2) constant whining about the same thing over and over again. We have probably 100+ posts complaining about prior years’ recruiting, the lack of height on this team, and this year’s bench. Many times a thread will be started just to say something that’s been said numerous times before. Those two things are bigger conversation killers than any rule that currently exists here

I'm not sure you really want to stop repetition. Sometimes people only feel validated if they say something for themselves, even though others say it.
That said, it's taken me a while to recognize your point about condescension or mocking (I think I understood derision pretty well ) but I get it now. It's a killer when it happens and is not called out.

 

[JustinesGuy]

No one wants to stop any kind of actual discussion. I’m very happy there are several active threads right now with great discussion. What I don’t like is 1) a condescending, mocking or derisive attitude towards others or 2) constant whining about the same thing over and over again. We have probably 100+ posts complaining about prior years’ recruiting, the lack of height on this team, and this year’s bench. Many times a thread will be started just to say something that’s been said numerous times before. Those two things are bigger conversation killers than any rule that currently exists here

The bench hasn’t scored in 4 games coming into tonight’s action. Yea I feel like lack of bench production is ok to discuss ha.

 

[HuskyNan]

The bench hasn’t scored in 4 games coming into tonight’s action. Yea I feel like lack of bench production is ok to discuss ha.

I was talking about the posters who criticize the talent on the bench, not the bench production in a particular game

 

[JustinesGuy]

I was talking about the posters who criticize the talent on the bench, not the bench production in a particular game

You might know this as a moderator, does Red still attend the home games?

 

[HuskyNan]

You might know this as a moderator, does Red still attend the home games?

Big Red is a men’s team fan. I don’t know him

 

[DefenseBB]

My main frustration is the negativity shown for a team that has lost 3 times IN THE LAST 4 YEARS! They might have had 10 close games in the past 4 years to boot yet the need to throw around “disappointing”, “pathetic” and “poor” is far too abundant and is said in very disrespectful manners.

I understand the team/program is a victim of its own success, however the expectations for the team to win every game by 40 points is unrealistic. Heck, even Diana lost 4 games her last year and 8 games during her career and that’s for the player most think was the best UConn ever had. Stewie lost 4 games her freshman year, yet somehow both women and their teams got great support, enjoyed the seasons and won numerous titles.

Critique is fine but do so with some empathy, logic and fun. I come on the forum because of passion I have for the program, the enjoyment of many of the posters, new perspectives I can hear, think about and modify my thinking.

I hope this thread has posters editing their comments into more positive spins.
Respectfully submitted,
DefenseBB

 

[Ozimoto]

Not that I am a board veteran by any stretch of the imagination but I do skip over threads this season as I see little of value in some of them, particularly the ones about the bench and recruiting. Those topics have been beaten to a pulp and speaking only for myself, they have little value to me.

As for the post game threads, I can almost predict to a T what will be said and by whom. I do enjoy the discussions about game tactics and strategy.

 

[Puppy Love]

The negativity isn’t unique to this board. If you read some comments on hot button stories in the press, you’ll find the conversation is generally nasty. I’ve been thinking about the impact of social media (and media in general) for some time now. Before I was on the Boneyard, I had no clue about recruiting targets and only knew about new players to the extent there was media coverage. The opinions I had about games and players were formed only from watching games and mainstream media stories. At first the influx of information on the Boneyard was exciting, but it gets overwhelming. It may sound naive, but I think I was happier when I knew less and I enjoyed the team more. I love this years starting five. I think as a group they are going to be amazing by March. The problem to me is that saying something positive puts me at risk that 15 people will tell me I’m wrong. It’s not worth it.

 

[RowdyFan]

I am no where near as knowledgable as many of the posters here. I stopped commenting(unless it was an OT) because the level of animosity when someone would post an alternative idea. I will still "Like" posts if I agree with his/her stance. This is still my team. But if you want to see real snarky, go to the Men's side.

 

[JustinesGuy]

The negativity isn’t unique to this board. If you read some comments on hot button stories in the press, you’ll find the conversation is generally nasty. I’ve been thinking about the impact of social media (and media in general) for some time now. Before I was on the Boneyard, I had no clue about recruiting targets and only knew about new players to the extent there was media coverage. The opinions I had about games and players were formed only from watching games and mainstream media stories. At first the influx of information on the Boneyard was exciting, but it gets overwhelming. It may sound naive, but I think I was happier when I knew less and I enjoyed the team more. I love this years starting five. I think as a group they are going to be amazing by March. The problem to me is that saying something positive puts me at risk that 15 people will tell me I’m wrong. It’s not worth it.

Your wrong puppy your wrong puppy your wrong puppy!!

Jk. Good post.

 

[HuskyNan]

@Puppy Love in case you didn’t know, jk means just kidding

 

[Woof 101]

It is okay to be sarcastic, as long as you're poking at someone's opinion and not at the person. It is not okay to hurt people. It is not okay to make it personal.

Truth is, we need more members, not fewer. The last thing we need is to shut people down when they're just getting their sea legs here.

I think that if any of us see insulting snark, we should think about we would feel if we were on the receiving end and if the answer is "not very good," we should call it out, especially if it is directed toward newcomers. That';s what I plan to do, anyway.

First Tomcat I think this is a good thread for discussion and needed. First I will agree to disagree with you on,
"It is okay to be sarcastic, as long as you're poking at someone's opinion and not at the person".
First, that depends on the forum. Not many who post here are professional writers or skilled at putting prose down as they would have sounded if spoken. I have seen many things meant as sarcasm that were only a difference of opinion but not taken that way.
There are three types, optimist, pessimist and realist. It is without question this forum is 95% optimist so when a pessimist chimes in... YIKES no matter how well informed or the statement is worded.
Then should a realist chime in...DOUBLE YIKES. Made a couple mistakes in the past being a realist myself, nothing serious but never to be forgiven for sure.
Still enjoy the site but much more selective on when or who to reply to or not. For instance see Bigboote below who often has me looking up a new word for my limited vocabulary.
We're talk'n hominem here.

Well said. The things I often think are: Address the post, not the poster (no ad hominem),

 

[Bama fan]

Your points are all valid.
I don't have to read all the content you do, so after awhile the numbskull comments would certainly be frustrating.
I do think your answers to them are spot on.
The two hardest fans to be are for teams that never win and teams that never lose.
Your new avatar is terrific, when I first came on here, I thought they were actual images of the poster.

I think they are actual images , and Nan is a makeover specialist!